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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think year one teachers should help DS with his shirt buttons?

23 replies

scared7778 · 10/10/2016 16:19

My DS is in year one and is currently being referred to OH because his fine motor skills are not improving. Whenever he has PE he comes home with his jumper on but underneath just his top button done.
They know he can't do them, I try every morning..... he said they help with top buttons but not the others! So poor thing goes all day with his shirt open!

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 10/10/2016 16:20

Usually top button only. Is he trying to do the others? Could you put velcro on instead until he learns to do buttons?

PinkSquash · 10/10/2016 16:20

Can you teach him to undo the top button and take his shirt off over his head?

Saucery · 10/10/2016 16:23

I would put little bits of Velcro on, as pp said. But I think it is really mean not to do them for him. Takes seconds. And not all the class will have difficulty doing their buttons up, before anyone says "staff are too busy"

BertrandRussell · 10/10/2016 16:28

Teach him to undo the top three buttons and take his shirt over his head.

But if he's go the top onendone up and his jumper on does it really matter? Just carry on getting him to practice at home.

BertrandRussell · 10/10/2016 16:30

Incidentally, does he/have you asked if the teacher can help? They may not realize. The top one's the trickiest- they may just think he needs starting off.

liz70 · 10/10/2016 16:36

Just send him in in his gym shirt with tie and sweater over them on PE days. That's what they do at DD3's school.

Northanter · 10/10/2016 16:36

I would get him some shirts that are a bit too big - short sleeved ones ideally.
Shirts aren't usually stretchy, so bigger, baggier shirts are much easier to slip on and off over your head, and if you get short sleeved ones they won't be flapping round his wrists.

Practice putting them on and taking them off over his head at home.

You only need put him in them on PE days.

chickenowner · 10/10/2016 16:37

I help children in my class with buttons, but I only know they need help if they ask!

HereIAm20 · 10/10/2016 16:41

I am surprised this hasn't turned in to the what teachers are there to teach and what parents are supposed to have already taught them thread.

rollonthesummer · 10/10/2016 16:44

Is he actually going up to the teacher saying, 'please can you help with my buttons?' but they are saying, 'no!'?

Or is he not asking and just putting his jumper on so no one can see how his shirt is done up, and going to sit on the carpet?

Bluepowder · 10/10/2016 16:47

Maybe the teacher did the top button up and then sent him away to have a go at the others and he didn't like to admit he hadn't done them. I'm sure the class teacher would not leave him with just one button done up on purpose.

amgine · 10/10/2016 16:49

Marks and spencer do an easy dressing range that might help. I think that replaces buttons with Velcro.

objectsintherearviewmirror · 10/10/2016 16:51

I echo what others have said. I can't imagine any teacher refusing to help a year 1 child with buttons if they are asked. But then you do say they know he can't do them so perhaps they are. You are not being unreasonable, I know teachers are busy (I used to be one), but 30 kids won't need help - however, as it's getting colder and they're not helping, perhaps a slightly bigger shirt that he can pull over his head without having to undo all the buttons would help?

Sirzy · 10/10/2016 16:53

Is a polo shirt an option?

Otherwise I agree teach him to take it off over his head is the best option.

Verbena37 · 10/10/2016 17:03

Perhaps have a word with the TA and ask that she specifically helps your DS.p with the buttons. With winter coming, spending the day without a shirt done up is a bit unreasonable.

Original poster

scared7778 · 10/10/2016 17:04

They aren't allowed to wear polo shirts. Yes they know he's seeing OH regarding this and I have nicely mentioned it to them. He has problems full stop with his hands so writing has been an ongoing thing he uses a support to write with. He does try; he can open them if he really concentrates but it takes about 5 minutes per button. Doing them up is, however impossible as it stands currently. I did buy the size up to allow for this but it's not really made any difference. Thanks for all your advice I'll see how OH appointment goes tomorrow and take it from there.

OP posts:

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/10/2016 17:04

Have you spoken to the teacher? In dds school teachers and tas will help.

LynetteScavo · 10/10/2016 17:11

Just ask them to do it for him...they probably thought it would be good for him to practice his fine motor skills. A conversation will clear this up.

Sirzy · 10/10/2016 17:14

In that case if you have spoken to the Teacher I would have a quiet word with the senco. Not to make a fuss but so she can ensure he is getting the right support.

On a side note I still don't understand why schools insist on shirts for little ones! Makes things so much harder than they need to be!

harderandharder2breathe · 10/10/2016 17:17

People haven't slated the OP for not teaching him because she stated upfront that she's trying but he has issues with fine motor skills and is seeing OH.

Yes, teacher is busy but there should be a TA or teacher who can spend a minute buttoning his shirt. you may need to speak to teacher and confirm this is an actual issue and you are practicing at home, so she knows he's not just being lazy (some kids that are perfectly capable of buttons and shoe tying still prefer someone else to do it for them!) and genuinely needs help with this.

Yes to getting him to pull it off over his head, undoing as few buttons as possible

Sirzy · 10/10/2016 17:21

There won't always be a TA though. Ds is in a mixed year 1/2 class and up until last week they didn't have a TA in the afternoons. They do have one now but that is a 1-1 for ds part of her role is to help him with dressing/undressing for pe as we had so many issues early on

SpeckledyBanana · 10/10/2016 17:23

Tescos do a shirt with velcro instead of a top button. DS only undoes the first two proper buttons then takes them off over his head. Would an easier top button help?

LyndaNotLinda · 10/10/2016 17:24

M&S make autism friendly shirts which have Velcro strips behind the buttons. Having said that, I don't see why you should have to go to the expense when he is so little.

I would speak to the Senco and see what they suggest - if your DS can't do the buttons because he has motor issues, then they either need to help him or make a 'reasonable adjustment' ie he is allowed to wear a polo shirt.

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