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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband waking me up just because he's awake

34 replies

GiGiraffe · 09/10/2016 07:34

Background: both work full time, 2 kids, both quite stressed at work at the moment and have to get up every day at 6am

I've not been sleeping well for while and it's rare we have a weekend when there is not something on/kids have woken up before 7am/DH is going out to his hobby etc.

Today DH woke up early and started talking to me, asking me the time etc and basically told him to leave me alone I am still sleeping (it was 6.30ish) I miraculously fell back asleep but then at 7am he did it again and woke me up properly and I flipped out and told it was really unfair to wake me when we don't have any plans, the kids are still asleep and there is no reason to get up. He got up and had a shower, so I was fully awake and fuming. Tried to talk to him when he was getting dressed explaining that I am very tired, I had a late night Friday and was still up at 6am yesterday with the kids and I just wanted to sleep - DH is now not talking to me.

I think he is being really unreasonable - he clearly thinks I am

OP posts:
Crankycunt · 09/10/2016 07:37

Shovel. Patio.

No excuse for that.

teacher54321 · 09/10/2016 07:37

He is BU. If it was midday and you had a million things you'd planned to do today that you now wouldn't be able to due to you still being asleep then nicely waking you up would be fine. To wake you up for no reason on a Sunday morning at 7am? Inconsiderate.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 09/10/2016 07:38

Oh God yanbu. If it was 11am I'd be more sympathetic to his pov, but 7am? People have been shot for less.

MrsDilligaf · 09/10/2016 07:39

He's a dick. I'd have poked DH in the eye with a sharp stick for that.

PollyCazaletWannabe · 09/10/2016 07:39

No, there is no need for him to wake you! My DH works very long hours and at the weekend he sleeps in as long as possible (usually until about 9-10- we have no DCs yet). I naturally wake up between 7 and 8 but I either just play on my phone or slide quietly out of bed and go and make myself some tea - I wouldn't dream of waking him for no reason. Is your DH selfish in other ways?

SuperManStoleMyPants · 09/10/2016 07:39

Yanbu.

If someone is asleep and there is no immediate need for them, you don't wake them! It's not rocket science.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 09/10/2016 07:40

Don't keep trying to explain yourself - it makes you appear as if you think you may be in the wrong. You're not.

BastardGoDarkly · 09/10/2016 07:41

Why is he sulking? And why in gods name was he up and chatting shit when he didn't have to be?!

Ywnbu to ltb.

Ledkr · 09/10/2016 07:42

That sounds pretty controlling to me, both the waking you and the sulking.
Is he always like this.

SnugglySnerd · 09/10/2016 07:43

YANBU at all. I'd have probably killed him!!

Original poster
GiGiraffe · 09/10/2016 07:47

Wah, lots of responses already. Usually he is lovely, but he has done this before and I was annoyed then too. I sulking in bed, think I will go and have a shower as I hear the kids are now up Smile

OP posts:
ConvincingLiar · 09/10/2016 07:52

Arse. I wouldn't dream of waking someone before 10 (maybe 9 with kids).

softboiledeggs · 09/10/2016 07:53

Crankycunt Grin

Rollergirl1 · 09/10/2016 07:59

That does sound very annoying and also very childish of DH. How old are your children? Do you think him getting up and having a shower woke the kids?

If you don't have to be anywhere soon I would stay in bed and let DH sort the kids out now they are up and about.

instantly · 09/10/2016 08:01

What a cunt.

Helbelle75 · 09/10/2016 08:03

Definitely not bu. I would be fuming. And completely yes to cranky's comment.

SandyY2K · 09/10/2016 08:06

Tell him not to do it again.

LeopardPrintSocks1 · 09/10/2016 08:11

This is actually abuse to purposely wake someone up. Didn't that weird celeb guy get arrested for doing similar psychological shit to his gf at the time. Weird thing to do.

If you love someone, let them sleep

SabineUndine · 09/10/2016 08:13

I'm with Crankycunt. I'll even provide an alibi.

imwithspud · 09/10/2016 08:14

YANBU I would be fuming. Me and dp take turns to lie in at the weekend unless there's something on which we both need to be up for. Unless it gets past 11/12 (we are often up before this time though) or there is some kind of emergency then we just leave each other be. What's the point in waking someone for the sake of it?

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/10/2016 08:17

Loving crankys comment. Did you manage to bury him?

Totally unreasonable. As long as you're not going out, you should have maybe a 9am lie in at least once a week if this helps you to be more productive in the day. Then you'll be more awake in the evening. Dh is still in bed. He won't get up before 8.30 at the weekend unless we are doing something special. And he takes off the slack in the day/evening. Dd is up anywhere between 6.00 and 7.30, sometimes earlier but I'm almost always up well before her. Why wake someone up when you're just eating breakfast and still in you pj's?

Gizlotsmum · 09/10/2016 08:21

Have to agree. That's just rude. If the kids were up and you'd had a lie in yesterday then maybe I'd accept it... but to just chat shit... no way. We alternate lie in's.. this is the first weekend the kids haven't been up at 6! Noise is kept to a minimum until about 8:30/9 when the other person is normally up. I would let him sulk....

imwithspud · 09/10/2016 08:28

I disagree that it's abuse though. It may be part of an abusive/controlling relationship if looking at the bigger picture but waking someone up on its own isn't abusive, just annoying and selfish.

LeatherAndLace · 09/10/2016 08:32

It's not abuse Hmm would you suggest she logs it with 101 too?

It is annoying though. My dh never gets how much sleeping past 7 once in a while means to me and used to do the same. He doesn't dare now as I do get rather grumpy Blush

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 09/10/2016 08:33

I woke Dh up at 4:30 Blush

I am three weeks away from having a giant baby though and need to share my misery.

He is down stairs now msking me cheese and toast! Grin

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