Is it me???

[Smokingchimney]

I have a sister who, I'm not close to at all. I love her but I don't like her and I don't particularly like being in her company. I dint see her very often and I feel she uses me when she wants me to look after her kids as it's the only time she ever contacts me.

She is getting married in a few weeks, our dad is terminally ill so she has brought the wedding forward.
I'm not part of the bridal party and neither are my own children. I'm fine about me not being part of it but I was a tiny bit annoyed when she chose her friends children to be bridesmaids & pageboys but not her own nieces and nephew.

Anyway, because the wedding was brought forward she has had to scale it down dramatically and now cannot afford to have a professional photographer or any wedding cars.
She has text me to ask if she can stay at mine the night before the wedding. I said that was fine after all she lives with her partner so he will be in their home the night before. I have since found out, it's not just her who will be staying with me but also her 4 bridesmaids who I don't really know. She has also told my mum I will be taking them all to the church and my husband will be doing the photos ???????

I've been told none of this, and I'm raging. I'm absolutely fucking raging, BUT I don't know if I'm being unreasonable and I'm raging just because it's her. I'm not even invited to the hen night because I'm been told "its just me my friends and mum that's invited' but her partners sisters are invited.

So tell me, is it me?

Precisely.

I've got two DC and ahem bedrooms and bathrooms and she wouldn't be staying here.

Thanks everyone for your replies, I do appreciate it. I went to her house to see her and basically have it out with her.

She says she told me about her bridesmaids staying over and DH taking the photographs but she didn't, she definitely didn't and is now saying I'm the one changing my mind. So, cue the tears and the tantrums.

I've told her she is welcome to stay but I don't have room for her bridesmaids, so it's up to her what she wants to tell them no doubt it will be that I've changed my mind. I've also told her I'm not having everyone at my house getting ready it's just too much besides, I think it will be too much for my mum and especially my dad.
I've told her DH will take the photos but reminded her he isn't a professional, he isn't going to stand and take photos all day, he will take what he can and that will be that. I've also told her it would be best if she had other people also taking the photos to make sure she has a good variety.

So, it didn't go too well, I've been made out to be the bad one.

I've just realised I didn't mention anything about being a taxi !!

Think I'd tell her no way, actually. Don't see why you should put her and her mates up. They could book themselves a hotel. As for your DH doing the photos, maybe he can do a few, but basically, if she expects him to run round doing the official pics, she can jack off. It would be stressful for him. Some pics, fine, but then email them to her, don't get them printed etc. Your DSis sounds like a massively entitled cow.

Did she ask in person, email or text. If by email or text I'd show her what she asked, and it didn't include, bridesmaids, taxi service or your Dh taking pics.
What an entitled bridezilla she's turning into.

After that reaction, I'd take back the offer of photographs and her staying over and I wouldn't be going to her 'special day'.

Well done smoking; that must have taken courage.
Don't expect it will be convenient to taxi the bridal party when they aren't all staying at your place.
The most important people to transport are your DF and DM and your own family.
What is her H to be doing to contribute to the arrangements? Let them sort it all themselves

horrendous. if it weren't for your parent's sake, i certainly wouldn't go.

After that I would be unlikely to bother turning up at all. You might want to remind her that your father is seriously ill too.

Really sorry to hear about your dad op
I'm so glad you have spoken to your sister about this because regardless of the situation with your dad it is really not fair for her to behave like this and put on you.
Imo you've done the right thing. You're doing the sisterly thing of having her to stay (without the extra guests) & I like your suggestion re the photography. Perhaps she should send a message to guests asking if they can take lots of pics to send to her.
Big hugs xx

Oh, you poor love. Just be reassured it's her not you and she doesn't deserve you x

P.s. It is definitely not you just being sensitive. I would be furious.

Agree with what has been said above - much easier for your sister to stay in her home with her guests, and for groom to stay with you or one of his friends, as there is only one of him to accommodate!

Seriously I'd tell her to go fuck. You're being used. Absolute pisstake. Id tell her it's now not convenient

I'd step up to the mark, let hubby take the photos , smile ...breath...it's all about your Dad really, a few hours out of your life.
Probably not her last wedding ( sorry for sounding bitchy).
Don't take it personally, I know that I am way down on the pecking order in my family but I accept that my values are not their values.
Go; look amazing, and make all the right noises. You owe this to your dad.
Your sis sounds troubled. Don't judge her on face value. Still waters run deep; there may be more to this than you know.