To not wants DPs Mums name as middle name?

[BombayBonsai]

I thought we had agreed on a middle name for our baby.

We are actually rethinking the first name at the moment and DP when saying a name we are discussing back said first name, mums name, surname.

This is new to me and I actually don't like it. He hasn't said anything as of yet as the conversation was cut short but I think it may be because DD1 has my Mums name as a middle name. She's from a previous relationship though and I happen to have the same middle name.

Should I cave on this?

"The baby is getting my surname but then DP is taking my surname when we get married, his choice entirely and not remotely influenced by me. I'm also not willing to have that used as a trade off. That was his choice. The middle name that had been agreed previously was his family surname and I like that."

How refreshing that your DD will have your surname and DP plans to take your surname too. Good for you both

I think that using DP's family name as a middle name is a good solution. Presumably that's his mother's surname so she will share a name with the baby.

Using family names is a nice thing to do but only if you actually like the name.

I wouldn't use a name that I really couldn't tolerate either.
If MIL uses a shortened version then maybe she isn't too keen on it either! I don't think your DD would thank you if it's that awful.
I think it's perfectly acceptable to use DH's surname though and that should be enough.
I wonder why he suddenly threw his mum's name into the mix though?

I'm not actually sure.

I'm wondering if I should bring it up tonight or leave it till he does?

Tricky one. I'd want to know and wouldn't be able to keep it to myself. It depends how you think your DH would react to you asking.

Even though my parents and DH parents have the same first names ... we both agreed wouldn't name any DC after any of them. Not because they weren't lovely names (as middle names) or lovely people. We just wanted to start fresh.

My DM had a cousin who had a child much later in life (I was at uni). Named after me ( or rather the nickname I went as, different spelling). So, at family gatherings we were always "First Name, Initial" when people were speaking to or about us. It was fine and rather amusing.

I also had two uncles who I was very close with. They persuaded their children (my cousins) to name their children a variation of my name. I only found out decades later ( not involved with my family for various reasons). Made me happy to hear, albeit glad that the names were variations. I have very fond and happy memories of my relationships with my uncles. Not so much with my cousins. Wonder if the "namesakes" are even aware of me ...

Phew! We've agreeded (again) on his surname being the middle name. Phew!

Great, glad you've resolved it