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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Overweight but doesn't eat apparently - possible?

344 replies

Mozismyhero · 07/10/2016 17:01

So, my DM is massively overweight. She is also diabetic. She says she doesn't eat, 'I've only had one piece of toast all day. I couldn't possibly eat all that (when eating out/at our house). And yet she doesn't lose any weight. Is that possible? Surely the weight would be falling off her if she didn't eat? Or do I just not understand diabetes?

AIBU to think that she must do it for attention and that she's secretly eating packets of biscuits and crisps?

OP posts:
BackInTheRoom · 07/10/2016 19:40

Cushings?

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cushings-syndrome/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

CheshireDing · 07/10/2016 19:40

My Gran used to say it about her cat Grin

"Oooh Alice doesn't eat much, it's all fur"

DH used to wind her up, the cat was blatantly fat (you couldn't see the full length of her legs, just the bottom half)

She clearly stuffed her little catty face Grin

Gmbk · 07/10/2016 19:42

Cushings makes you put on weight round the face and torso usually. Horrible disease and very difficult to diagnose.

wonderingsoul · 07/10/2016 19:43

Im a bit like this. I dont eat alot. Maybe one meal a day and not massive portions ethier. But i drink a lot of sugery drinks so empty calories.

I am losing weight but thats more to increased manual job but if it wasnt for that id just maintain.

piggypoo · 07/10/2016 19:48

Some people just are not educated about food and calorie intake, my MIL is diabetic, and very overweight, and insists she does not eat too much, a familiar cry is "I've only had a handful of toffees", not realising that they are about 500 calories in a few sweets. A lot of people are simply in denial about their weight and food intake.

sueelleker · 07/10/2016 19:49

My mum had a friend who thought if she ate salad with her pork pie she was dieting!

mysistersimone · 07/10/2016 19:53

Maybe she doesn't want to tell you. Maybe you keep asking her about her weight making her feel like shit so she lies to get you off her back.

yeOldeTrout · 07/10/2016 20:00

One piece of toast = 100-150 calories.
With butter, add another 50-250 calories.

Are people really trying to say that the poor woman is morbidly obese on 400 kcal/day? Come on... Pull the other one. Maybe the solution to world hunger is to devise a virus to give T2 diabetes to all the people in the world living on < $2/day. Military might be interested, too. Could be mega-solution...

pocketsaviour · 07/10/2016 20:01

Referencing Aleppo in a bid to draw attention away from your shaky grasp of science? Oh yeah, that's class right there.

Fucking disgusting.

Rosamund1 · 07/10/2016 20:04

I read an article once where people genuinely thought 'they hardly ate anything' but the researcher made them write every food and drink item they consumed and it always came out that the food that 'didn't count' added up. A biscuit here, 'tea 2sugars' x4 = 8 spoons of sugar, a pint of beer, chips off someone else's plates etc. They were stunned when they looked at the notes after a few weeks.

And some genuinely did not know things like a salad with a rich dressing can = more calories than a takeaway.

Maybe explore some of those ideas with her.

RamsayBoltonsPoodleParlour · 07/10/2016 20:13

OP, it's highly likely that your mother's diabetes - assuming it's type 2 - is caused by being massively overweight. If she lost weight there's a good chance her diabetes might go away.

HicDraconis · 07/10/2016 20:19

Weight, diet, exercise levels and the misconceptions around them are hugely emotive. It isn't as straightforward as calories in vs calories out no matter how much some people would like it to be.

Yes, if you eat less and move more you should lose weight. But you may lose less weight with the same percentage calorie reduction and activity increase than your friend. There are genetic components, there are individual metabolic components and there is the huge unknown of your microbiome which has a far greater role to play than people realise.

Case study - mother and child. Similar lifestyle and genetics. Mother overweight/obese, child slim. Child became ill with something requiring fecal transplant (yes this is a thing). Mother used as donor, child's gut repopulated with maternal biome. Child completely recovers and returns to original lifestyle (same dietary intake and exercise levels). Child slowly gains weight until she is the same level of overweight as her mother.

The gut bacteria have a huge role to play in processing the food you eat. Slimmer people tend to have a larger proportion of good bugs, overweight people have a higher proportion of the bad bugs. But whether a high sugar diet encourages the bug imbalance, or whether fatter people are populated with more of the bad bugs during their embryonic growth & birth (from their mother which makes the above case study even more interesting) - so much is not known.

On the whole though - back to size being emotive - generally, if someone says they barely eat but are still gaining weight or failing to lose it, there is secret eating / denial / guilt going on somewhere. Yes medical conditions can make weight gain easier (steroids make you hungry, pain makes it harder to move) and weight loss harder, but I would think OP's mum is secretly eating somewhere. I don't think she's doing it for attention though. I think she's probably trying to hide it out out of guilt, so drawing attention to how little she eats and desperately ignoring her food intake when alone.

IWasGintyMarlowe · 07/10/2016 20:23

she may have an issue with bingeing or grazing compulsively. i am a member of Overeaters Anon and one of the questions on our Are You a Compulsive eater/Food Addict quiz is feeling shame or defensive over the amount one eats. i really hope this isn't what she is suffering from though as it is as debilitating as bulimia. it IS like bulimia really; just that there is no vomiting or other methods to get rid of food

Albadross · 07/10/2016 20:23

iLove - I guess 'adapt' is a better word, it's controlled by the brain like everything else as a physiological response to restricting calories very low.

It's called 'adaptive thermogenesis', where if you've been eating significantly less than you need to for a very long period of time (not just a day or a few days/weeks/months even), your body adapts to survive for as long as possible. You'll always maintain a certain % of body fat, even if your body has had to begin using muscles as food instead of fat - which causes heart attacks in people who are extremely underweight.

That's where the 'starvation mode' myth comes in - your metabolism only adapts if you deprive your body over a very prolonged period, and most of the time once you begin eating again your metabolism will return to normal in a pretty short time. For me, because I had effectively been starving for a long time, my body had used much of my muscles as fuel and hence when my metabolism returned to normal, I had a lot more fat than muscle and less muscle mass = less energy requirements for same body weight overall. Someone who is big but muscular will require more calories than someone who is just fat. One of the best things you can do to lose weight is to lift weights! I've had to really bump up my protein intake to build my muscles back to a normal level.

I know people who've got down to horrifyingly low BMIs just by taking 100-200 calories off their diet every day and losing weight very very slowly.

IWasGintyMarlowe · 07/10/2016 20:24

unfortunately we live in a society where people have this attitude that addictive and frequent overeating isn't a real eating disorder. :(

Allthewaves · 07/10/2016 20:26

Secret eater who's incredibly embarrassed. She's trying to make excuses becuase she's mortified about her weight.

She knows everyone is thinking she is fat so she trying to justify each. She must have super low self confidence.

MetalMidget · 07/10/2016 20:28

I'm overweight - I'd always struggled with my weight, leading to an eating disorder (as it was the only way I could lose weight successfully through diet only). Fortunately those days are behind me - I put on a stone, but was able to maintain my weight healthily through sensible eating and exercise.

Then I came off the pill to conceive, and ballooned over two years, gaining four stone, despite increasing my exercise and diet not changing. No baby, had tests, turned out I had an underactive thyroid and PCOS, which explained a lot. Got put on meds, lost a stone in less than two months (and promptly got knocked up!)

I'm now breastfeeding an 11 week old baby and eating like a pig, but I'm maintaining my weight (which is lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight).

Long story short, hormones and glucose levels can have a huge impact!

Albadross · 07/10/2016 20:30

Talkin - the body is not a closed system, so you cannot simply apply Newton's law unfortunately.

Also wanted to point out that regular starvation does not actually seem to make the body store more fat - it has to be over a long period of time. For many people intermittent fasting works because even on days where they allow themselves to eat what they want, they don't actually consume more than the day's worth they missed out plus enough for the current day. Of course some people do, in which case it doesn't work well for them. It's also not great for those with blood sugar stability issues of any kind.

Ta1kinpeece · 07/10/2016 20:36

alba
Talkin - the body is not a closed system, so you cannot simply apply Newton's law unfortunately.
Do elaborate ....
please explain which other inputs than the gob that the human body faces ....

once you have disproved physics I 'll stop saying that people eat too much

yeOldeTrout · 07/10/2016 20:39

I guess the experiment has been done to put a load of people on the same energy intake (=some formula dependent on age-gender-height) and same activity regime... to see what happens?

I'm guessing that everyone ends up the same body size with little difference, even the T2 diabetics.

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 07/10/2016 20:41

FIL is like this and claims not to eat. He goes to work via two McDonald's and has breakfast at both, doesn't drink tea or coffee but gets through 4-6 LITRES of Coca Cola daily, as well as bacon sandwiches and cakes, then on a normal work night will have a couple of bottles of wine and at least 6 beers...

But he doesn't eat meals at a table/from a plate so he thinks none of it counts.

Ta1kinpeece · 07/10/2016 20:46

yeoldetrout
T2 diabetes was named that by doctors struggling to explain the symptoms among people without the true disease
T2 diabetes is caused by being fat and idle
if you get off your arse and lose wight you are no longer T2
wheras NOTHING will ever stop you being T1

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 07/10/2016 20:50

I have pcos im far too fat i eat 3 meals a day and have pudding on a sunday , i eat high protein , low fat meals ive followed slimming world for a year and lost 6lbs , its taken me 3 years to lose 4 stone its so frustrating especially when youre constantly judged

anyhue · 07/10/2016 20:54

They must be eating more than they think or realize, or the wrong stuff, or minimizing/lying about what they eat.

Cagliostro · 07/10/2016 20:54

I think generally people don't realise how much they eat. And drink

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