Overweight but doesn't eat apparently - possible?

[Mozismyhero]

So, my DM is massively overweight. She is also diabetic. She says she doesn't eat, 'I've only had one piece of toast all day. I couldn't possibly eat all that (when eating out/at our house). And yet she doesn't lose any weight. Is that possible? Surely the weight would be falling off her if she didn't eat? Or do I just not understand diabetes?

AIBU to think that she must do it for attention and that she's secretly eating packets of biscuits and crisps?

'She just doesn't realise that liquids count.'

Is she using full-fat milk and tons of sugar in the tea then? Because if you use skimmed milk and no sugar, it doesn't have very many calories at all.

But it's easier for you to be judgey about her.

I know someone like this, they are essentially a compulsive liar and I respect them less for it.

Is she using full-fat milk and tons of sugar in the tea then? Because if you use skimmed milk and no sugar, it doesn't have very many calories at all.

Depends massively on how much semi skimmed milk you have, very milky tea can easily be 75kcal and if your drinking 5 cups a day it can add up.

I wonder also if she is drinking alcohol and not realising how many calories it can contain, or is not saying if , or how much, she is drinking (if at all, of course. She may not be.)
I certainly thought that the two men mentioned upthread who hardly ate anything and were not interested in food but were still overweight might well be getting their calories in alcohol.
I have known alcoholics who were overweight to very overweight and they would far rather drink than eat.

Two things must have been happening:

1. Either I was eating a lot more sweet stuff than I thought
   and/or

2. My body really doesn't like sugar and it was responsible for more weight gain than the actual calories that I consumed.

3. the sugar you were eating was causing you an increase in appetite, so when it came to other meals you were eating larger portions without

1. She has over active thyroid
2. She has Celiac that is affecting her in this way.
3. She has PCOS
4. She has kidney failure or heart issue causing oedema, both caused to Diabetes
5. Medication given for the pain caused diabetes related Peripheral Neuropathy has caused the wright gain - medications such as Pregabalin, Amitriptyline etc are often prescribed fir nerve pain & really mess up the metabolism & cause quite rapid weigh gain.
6. Other medications - CHECK SIDE EFFECTS!

10. She isn't eating enough so her body is in starvation mode, so storing fat unaturally 11. Other medical conditions or reasons not listed here

A lot of people really do not understand how few calories an older short person needs ....
this is a really good calculator
www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html

A 5'2" 65 year old woman who currently weighs 10 stone
needs less than 1500 calories a day to stay the same weight.

To get weight loss of 1lb a week, they need to eat less than 1000 calories a day

knowing that people routinely under estimate what they eat by 20% (hundreds of studies say the same thing)

she needs to "mentally" eat 800 calories a day
which by any standards is not a great deal

Eatsleep - and the great thing is that I've not felt hungry or deprived at all whilst losing weight. Probably because I'm no longer having sugar spikes and I feel so much better in myself that I'm genuinely not interested in eating food that will make me feel crap.

So it's not just as simple as calories in being less than what you need. If you eat 1000 calories a day, but say 100 of those are those nasty weight watchers bars filled full of additives and sugar replacements, or it's a kit-kat, then if you're like me that will send your blood sugar all over the place and you'll feel depressed and deprived. Whereas if you have 100 calories of nuts, or more likely 300 calories, you don't get the same spike and feel a lot better.

I should also say that I have cut out most alcohol, because of the sugar in it. I genuinely didn't drink much but cutting out 2-3 glasses of wine works out to about 500 calories.

A few years ago I was quite chunky (a size 14 but I didn't carry the weight well). I ate a very balanced diet, maybe my portions were a little too big but nothing OTT and I was training for a half marathon so was totally mystified as to why I was overweight. I averaged to be burning about 3000 kcal a day and was only eating between 2000 and 2500 depending on if it was a running day.
I caught glandular fever and went down to a size 12 from that and after I was recovering I went for a multitude of blood tests to check my general health. It turned out I had an under active thyroid. Within 2-3 months of being on that I slept better, felt the cold less and went down to a size 8-10.

I'm a 10 now and I still eat a good, healthy diet, my portions are a little too big still and I'm no longer training or doing any exercise other than walking my dog for an hour twice a day and running after little children all day.
Sorry, the point of that little anecdote is that people can eat healthily and not be the size that they should be for medical reasons... however I was never obese and I never claimed to eat nothing.
Do try and cut your friend some slack though, some people who are very overweight struggle with coming to terms with it and prefer to live in denial about it (like we all do with some problems) so she may actually realise how much she is eating.

Oh rockinhippy - I genuinely don't think I suffer from 4-11. It is possible I have mild PCOS but that's about it.

rockin
your list is fascinating but the body can only gain weight if the nutrition is arriving
unlike plants we cannot suck energy out of thin air
starvation mode is a myth that was discredited long ago - look at the pictures of Aleppo if you need evidence

if you eat less than your body needs, you will lose weight
its Physics

This is very very common, very overweight people not eating in front of others and denying they eat. It's a form of eating disorder to varying degrees (ie some people are just embarrassed, some are secretly binging)

You should try and be kind to your mum

rookie

That wasn't aimed at you

It was aimed at the OP & the general ignorance on this thread

Yes. It's possible.

My MIL doesn't eat apart from dinner and she rarely finishes the small portion she has. She is very very overweight because of her medication.

But it's easier for you to be judgey about her.

yeah it's quite easy actually when she bangs on about her "genetics" for the millionth time whilst having a 221 calorie late every time she passes a costa on top of consuming almost a litre a day in milk. (usually stops at the garage on the way home each evening for another 1/2 litre, and thats after all the milk she's had at work)

She drinks a lot of calories, I've watched her do it all my life, nothing can happen in our family home without the kettle being put on before, during and after.

I wouldn't "judge" it if she didn't herself make it a frequent topic of conversation! If she was just getting on with it I wouldn't give it a second thought, but she doesn't, she regularly cites her "genetic" fatness!

My god, what a load of ignorant comments I see on here!

Diabetics inject INSULIN, which is actually known as the FAT STORAGE HORMONE ... FACT ... look it up anywhere on the net.

Yeah she probably did only eat one piece of toast all day, on that one day, in a desperate attempt to look like she is trying to "do something". And the next day she'll be so hungry that she'll eat more than a normal day's intake.

It's nasty, judgmental, ignorant people that cause women like her to have eating disorders.

Leigh
Diabetics inject INSULIN
you are confusing type 1 and type 2 diabetics
they are not the same thing at all

one is avoidable, one is not

and I'm not being judgey, I'm just quoting Newtonian Physics

RockinHippy

11.Lipoedema. Google it.

Not true Talkin

Many disorders & medication mess up the metabolism so the body holds onto fat more

Oedema needs only water to cause weight gain

I have gained a couple of stone plus due to CKD related Oedema, thankfully I was underweight so I am not huge, but I am a lot bigger than I was. I eat far less than I ever did, I eat a very healthy diet & mostly drink water & no alcohol. The weight gain was kick started by pain medication.

My Diabetic DM ate like a sparrow, did not have a sweet tooth, ate complex, not empty carbs etc, but was size 26 due to pain meds, heart & CKD related Oedema, celiac & thyroid

Sorry Rockin - shouldn't take these things personally.

I think the other factor is that once you become overweight, even if you then started to eat the correct amount of calories for your body, then you'd still remain overweight. You have to cut back beyond that to actually lose.

I exercise a fair bit, which gives me a bit of leeway on my daily calories ( which I don't really count anyway), but if you're too heavy or immobile to move much, then that's a double whammy.

I have committed the sin of not reading the whole thread!!!!!!!!

but I read in a science journal that they are looking at the possibility that being overweight doesn't lead to diabetes - it might be that diabetes is developing, then causing the person to be overweight and only then showing up on the relevant tests.

I am losing weight at the moment. My friends and family are constantly horrified by how little they perceive me to eat. I think it's okay but I do puzzle over people like my sister, who eat everything in sight, do very similar workouts to me, and don't gain. She's older than me and thinks a dessert with lunch and dinner is normal!

My mum is also a classic couch potato, loves her biccies and cakes - always been a daily thing with her - quite slim till menopause - after menopause she's tiny! And her blood sugar is fine, while dad, who is a high protein, hardly any sugar guy, has slightly higher blood sugar. Go figure!

anyhoo - I think there are probably a lot of factors at play. Why I couldn't take after my mum...pity!

If she had so few calories she would lose weight. Maybe she started and binges on different days, but prefers to remember the starving days. Apparently people vastly underestimate the number of calories they have eaten, partly because they just forget to account for some of it ( eg drinks) and partly because they are simply in denial - to themselves as much as to other people. And actually for older people who are not very active their calorie requirements can be quite small, nothing like the 2000 you see on nutrition labels. I think my calorie need is about 1400 per day, which is really not much food at all - a few cups of tea, a few bits of toast, a not very big dinner and you're there!

Bet obese people may not eat a large amount. They will not be moving much at all. I order to lose weight you have to eat less than the calories you expend. If that's breathing and a shuffle to the loo then you don't need to eat much to stay in calorie balance or even continue to gain

rockin
You and your Mum are both unlucky and unusual (thank goodness for the NHS)
99% of the overweight do not have the issues you face
but they are sucking up the resources of the NHS that would be better used understanding those who have underlying medical issues

bariatric surgery for those who lack willpower (her own words on BBC 1 this week) is an utter waste

Not taking this personally at all Rookie why would I, at 5'5" & size12, I am not over weight. I quite like my extra curves, just not reasons I have them.

As I said in an earlier reply, I do however take offence at the amount of presumptuous ignorance on this thread, sadly spouted as if factual, which sadly, you, yourself are contributing too

Loosing weight IS doable, if it's fat rather than water as in Rockin's case. DD2 has PCOS, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, and is awaiting results for lupus. She's still managed to lose nearly 3st on Slimming World, through sheer bloody mindedness.

I'm incredibly proud of her, to achieve that with all those obstacles in her way. As someone said up thread, there's a lot of hidden calories in drinks etc, that people simply don't realise are there, or are in denial about.