to think I don't have a disorder?

[CaptainObviousTwo]

Hi all, NC because my boss knows I'm on MN and I don't want to get the sack if it turns out IABU.

DP has been telling me more and more recently that I need to seek treatment for anxiety. He is convinced I have a severe anxiety disorder which can be addressed by the GP however I don't feel this at all and that most people think in the same way that I do.

I think constantly about other people's opinions and feelings, and everything I do is shaped around this; for example how I behave at work and how I interact with others. I often mess this up, however, so will worry that I've offended people or caused others problems which makes me concerned in the evenings and I'll spend a lot of time thinking about how I can fix it. Whenever I make mistakes at work (I'm in childcare) I get afraid I'm going to be sacked - but this happens A LOT in my industry, so not unfounded.
DP says this isn't normal for every day but surely this is just being conscientious of other people?

Whilst I don't have much concern for my own health, I do worry about my friend's and families' and will imagine worse case scenarios so that I can plan ahead if anything should happen. I'm known, jokingly, as "Apocalypse Woman" for this but basically I just like being prepared.

I'll admit that I am probably over-sensitive as I'll immediately think that people's bad moods or negative atmosphere is because of something I've done wrong, which I'm aware is really conceited of me - and I'm trying to address this.

I do have nightmares most nights and wake up with a lot of tension in my back and shoulders. I've taken to sleeping on the sofa so that I don't disturb DP with my fidgeting - he says this is another anxiety thing but my sleep has never been that great.

There are lots of little things that DP has bought up, but I don't want to irritate people with them!

In short, I think that everyone worries about most things they do each day and constantly feeling like there's something not quite right is just part of being an adult.
DP thinks this isn't the case (though he is very kind and thoughtful of others, so I'm not saying that he isn't considerate to others).
He got me to take a couple of online anxiety tests (example below) and tbf i rank in the high sections - but thinking and worrying are just every day things right?

Anyway, sorry for being so long and meandering, I'm probably not explaining myself very well at all!

AIBU to think that being aware of how your actions affect others is just part of being a nice person and doesn't mean I have a medical disorder?

example anxiety test

Zeeandra is right - Relaxation is essential to good mental health .
Lorelei has also highlighted one of the main problems when you become swamped with anxiety - you make yourself busy to get away from it but all that happens is that you become more stressed and this in turn ncrease the anxiety. This is the vicious circle of stress-anxiety-depression-stress. One of the key factors of recovery is acceptance - acknowledging that you are feeling stressed/anxious and that you need support and help.
Talking about your feelings and letting empathetic people know you aren't feeling great in yourself right now will help you enormously.

DD was like this. It got worse & worse & all sorts of other symptoms crept in over the years too

Hers turned out to be a B12 deficiency. She now has B12 injections (I do too) & she is back to her old bubbly confident, non worrying self

See your GP & ask for your B12, Folate, MMA, Homocysteine & Ferritin checking before you consider taking any anxiety medication - many deplete B12 & it could make it worse

Good luck with the GP...

It does sound whatever is happening is really interfering with you having a happy, engaged life....

Really there are more things than just work-its so easy when you're ram packed with stuff to see this... ... Surely your health, family and pals - and just having down time with them is a good use of your time, too?!

If you haven't, I would also write out a bullet pointed list for your gp so you don't forget anything!, also be clear about what you would like to try. Online CBT does have a good evidence base for helping with anxiety.... I would also look out books by Russ Harris...esp 'The Happiness Trap'. He does some really helpful values - driven work - he writes well and compassionately.
I know many people who swear by his books... He also has youtube videos that are worth watching!

Good luck, things will get better!

Re not wanting to be 'dependent' on anything. We're all dependent on countless things. You're dependent, at a very basic level, on the vitamins and minerals, hormones and neurotransmitters that make your body function. Some people develop deficits/imbalances in these things and medication gives them that back. How does it sound if, say, someone with hypothyroidism refuses to take supplemental thyroxine because they don't want to be 'dependent' on it? Silly, right? They have a deficit and medication addresses that.

Medication may or may not help you, but don't not try it because you're attached to an impossible idea of being 'independent'.

It does sound like anxiety. I wouldn't call it a disorder unless it affects your quality of life severely. You can learn healthier ways of thinking though, mood gym online is great free CBT.

You sound like a very sensitive empathic person who suffers from quite severe anxiety.
It's your gps job to help people with their suffering

Totally understand where you are coming from in terms of how you think other people actions may be caused from your own actions. I do it all the time. When I meet someone I'm constantly observing how they are looking at me or their response. I also worry about stupid things and not myself. I feel like I can second guess a persons agenda and what they will do next. However I do have anxiety issues and currently in the process of cbt. Sign up for cbt. It makes you think about how you see things and why. Its worth a try. Xx

Haven't RTFT, but that anxiety test seems biased towards anxiety, imo. There's no room for being occasionally anxious or nervous sometimes, which surely most people are. The least is 'several days'.

I don't think that being concerned for how your actions affect others is associated in the least bit with feeling bad. I'd say you feel that your anxiety is evidence that you are kind to others. It isn't. You can be kind and sensitive without feeling anxious, guilty and worried.

I agreed with PPs, see your GP.

Thank you for all the replies.

I went to the GP this afternoon and he's referred me to be assessed by a psychologist and also booked me in for some blood tests as he suspects a B12 deficiency and pernicious anaemia (which my Mum has).
I've not been to this doctors before (we've recently moved house) and he seemed nice, though asked several times if I'd shouted at people, and asked DP directly (he came to the apt with me) which I thought was odd. I've never shouted at anyone in my life.

I had a panic attack at the Gym this morning. We went to "dynamic" yoga for the first time and it was going very very fast, I couldn't keep up and I ended up crying A LOT and snuck out of the class to go and cry in the toilets which I felt really pathetic about. I did force myself to go back in and complete the class though. DP assured me that nobody noticed (I'm a silent panicker) - this kind of reinforced the point that I needed to see the GP.

This is the first time I've been to the GP and they've not tried to prescribed me anti-depressants which I'm glad for.

sarahnova69 DP asked me to specifically thank you for that, he gave me a very smug look when I read it out! He said he wished he'd have thought to put it like that, he agrees strongly. I see your point too!

RockinHippy I'm booked in for all those tests now, thank you. There are a lot of similar symptoms with a B12 deficiency.

Don't write off ADs! They can be wonderful.

I am so glad you have a GP that knows about B12 deficiency/PA, you would not believe how little training the have in deficiencies & how rare doctors who know about this actually are.

The panic attack in the gym rings an alarm bell for low potassium too, though I think this should be part of the standard blood tests (B12 etc isnt) but please double check with the plebotomist/nurse that this will be tested too, B12, Folate, Iron/Ferritin, Potassium & Magnesium all work together, so others can be out of whack too if others are deficient.

Speaking from personal experience, low potassium causes anxiety & panic attacks & as B12 uses up potassium to metabolise. The fact your attack happened in the gym where you would likely to lose potassium with sweating, points to a deficiency there too & it will need to be fixed/investigated in order to get the best out of any B12 injections. My potassium deficiency is looking like a possible adrenal tumour, which is fixable.

I would suggest getting the blood tests out of the way & then use Diaralyte if you are feeling jumpy/anxious or have a panic attack. I find this really helps. Up your potassium rich foods too, coconut water is great stuff, as is avocado, prunes, banana & much more - though I personally haven't found my high potassium diet has been much help

Good luck