To have got DS only 1 present for his birthday?

[AllenKey]

DS turned 8 yesterday. We took him to see a film and then went out for dinner. His party is this Saturday.

He had a list of about 5 things. It came to a total of about £250. If I'm being honest, that's just too much - we wouldn't pay that much for 5 things.

However, we purchased his top wanted one.

He was happy about it, but seemed a bit sad about the lack of presents. I told him that he would get more on Saturday (from friends and family, etc.) and he was fine about it.

I was in work today and work colleague asked what I got him, I told them and they asked what else...

I now feel really mean about it

It depends on your income. We get 2 per younger child, a toy and something to wear: clothes pyjamas or dressing up costume. I'm NC with DD1, I buy DS1 a Lego eGift card as he's still obsessed with Lego at 26!

We always got multiple presents but big presents were always for Christmas

For example, for my 9th birthday I got a Barbie, 2 polly pocket sets, a book, an umbrella and pj's. I think there was something else but I can't remember what. The pj's and umbrella I needed but they were character ones, so it was a sort of need but want too.

That would have come to less than the cost of your sons one gift, I also didn't do a list, lists were for father christmas. I had a birthday tea and a party with 4 friends, no trip to the cinema

Reading this thread, what jumps out at me is everybody is different. Some give lots, some give one gift, some say Christmas is for lots of little things, some giving big gift at birthday while others give at Christmas etc. There is no right way, do what works for your family

9 yo DD tends to get one big present for her birthday and 3 or 4 very small bits to unwrap. The big gift this year was a keyboard. Small bits that she could open included a book she'd been asking about, two Schleich fairy figures and a Harry Potter colouring book - less than £15 between Amazon and eBay. She gets lots from friends and family, I always make sure she's got some awesome balloons bobbing away in the background and she gets cake and a treat to celebrate the day - either a meal out, trip to the cinema, girly day in the city with me, etc. It's plenty.

Children very rarely care about cost. But they can be quite visual at times and they often love the thrill of unwrapping a couple of small surprises. Maybe next year get him some cheap, daft wee things to open?

I only ever get the dc one present on their birthdays - not due to lack of money, just what I grew up with I guess. At Christmas I'd always get them each one main present plus various smaller things though. Surely different families just have different customs?

That's what an £80 present? And he had a film, a meal AND a party? Yeah if any of the DC wanted something like that AND a party/treat they wouldn't get anything else.

£80 is about our average birthday spend so if they wanted a big thing then they would most likely just get that (maybe 2 £5 token gifts from the other DCs as well depending if we found anything and exactly what the big thing cost) but they would also only get a film/meal OR a party not both.

I go for

Something they want
Something they need
Something to read

Mine get multiple presents, usually quite a pile, but I had feck all as a kid, no party's, no trips out on birthdays and usually my "mum" would take back the presents she'd given me within a month or so anyway and I'd not ever see them again. That has undoubtedly given me a few ishoos when it comes to buying for my own kids, I do tend to overindulge.

I also prefer to buy more for birthdays than Xmas because it always seems (to me) to make more sense to go more overboard on the day they were born than a day a man thousands of years ago was born! It also means spending more on birthday than Xmas as on their birthday it's only one to buy for and at Xmas there's everyone to buy for! Plus at Xmas it doesn't matter if their pile looks small as well everyone's piles together und r the tree look substantial.

OP we do-
Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
Something to read
& something to eat . (Haribo usually!)
They get presents from grandparents too.

I fucking detest that rhyme.

What he got was great!! We only give one present here too - both ours got bikes from us for bdays this year + the party I certainly do not think you (or I!) are mean. Mine get from other pressies from family n friends too.

Blimey Wankers it's only a little ditty - if it helps some parents feel like they've got all bases covered and children know what to expect I'm sure it can help some families to have a happy day celebrating together? No?
It's not the rules !

^FFS, this drives me CRAZY. One present is absolutely fine - especially as the child is getting a meal out, trip to the cinema AND a party. Buying "bits" to make up presents to what other people feel is an acceptable number is just ridiculous and contributes to the amount of stuff which is cluttering up everyone's houses.^

This is exactly what I wanted to say. Getting him one big present that he wanted is great. Plus party and everything else. I really don't get the mindset of buying Poundland crap just so he'll have more presents to open.It's just consumerism and materialism gone mad. And I'm not a scrooge btw. My children get presents, just not a set number.

Juggling, this comes up in the Christmas threads all the time. It's horrible and encourages meanness. You can interpret it in an okay way but that's not the intention. And seriously if you need a horrid rhyme to work out what to buy your child then you may as well give up.

I think it's absolutely acceptable. I will be giving my 6 yr old one present for her birthday.
I think it's good to teach kids quality over quantity. You could have given him a pile of presents from a cheapo shop but it wouldn't have been what he wanted.
Stuff doesn't equal love or being a good parent.
His birthday sounds lovely, and it sounds like you made a real effort for it. Nothing to feel bad about.

Whaaaat? People get more than 1 present for a child on their birthday? Surely 1 present from parents plus others from family members and friends coming to party. I thought this was totally normal.

I think Papersmile has summed it up, it's about effort. That's what they'll remember, whether that's the gift they want, lots of gifts, a party, cake, day out or whatever is personal to each family based on choice and finances.

Whaaaat? People get more than 1 present for a child on their birthday? Surely 1 present from parents plus others from family members and friends coming to party. I thought this was totally normal

The inability for people to imagine outside of their own experience is utterly depressing.

Plus you do realise not every child has a party? So no more presents there. And not every child has much family to give them presents either. Plenty of kids, if they got one present from their parents, that would add up to one present in total.

I think this is great and it'll make him think about what he really wants in future. Well done!

I couldn't only give one present, I enjoy it too much - I love finding things for them. Not expensive stuff, they don't write lists yet anyway. 7 and 9 so I dare say that'll change when they're older.

I'd have got a few other presents to open. Things like pyjamas that you would need to buy a some point anyway and a couple of poundland type gifts. But don't feel pressurised to spend any more on better gifts.

I always thought it was normal to get one gift for a birthday. My son has a birthday in October and Christmas is soon after. If I bought him loads for his birthday I'd be out of ideas for Christmas.

If you are arranging a party etc then this costs money and IMO is part of the cost of the birthday present. My son is 10 this month and for the first time isn't having a whole class party. He's getting a new bike instead. I can't afford a party and a bike!