To have got DS only 1 present for his birthday?

[AllenKey]

DS turned 8 yesterday. We took him to see a film and then went out for dinner. His party is this Saturday.

He had a list of about 5 things. It came to a total of about £250. If I'm being honest, that's just too much - we wouldn't pay that much for 5 things.

However, we purchased his top wanted one.

He was happy about it, but seemed a bit sad about the lack of presents. I told him that he would get more on Saturday (from friends and family, etc.) and he was fine about it.

I was in work today and work colleague asked what I got him, I told them and they asked what else...

I now feel really mean about it

I would have got him a few small things too.

It's a stupid question though isn't it? One present is fine if its a big one, one present is not fine if its, for example, a pair of socks. And since no-one knows what anyone is talking about when they say one present, its all a bit pointless.

Seriously can't imagine giving just one gift as we tend to buy everything they want. It's never a ridiculous list. And then we do a meal out on the actual birthday with a few friends and then a big party on the closest Saturday.
So one present does seem a bit mean to me. But that's just my opinion.

I would have loved if my parents had allowed me to make a list, and been given one item I wanted from said list. Birthdays meant new clothes in our family, or some chocolate, it was up to others to give thoughtful presents (or buy them myself with birthday money).

I may have added a couple of 'cheap' items, but it would have depended on the cost of the main present/treat. A boy his age should understand that things cost, and most parents don't have infinite amounts of money.

I think maybe I go to pound shop and get thing like ... I don't know haha. Thing 8 year old boys like just to make it exciting but not expensive as other presents were not being received on same day :o)

When I was younger my parents usually got me one "main" gift (not necessarily hugely expensive as I actually wasn't too into gaming consoles etc as a child) and then a handful of small things like a box of sweets or a gift token for a bookshop (I loved those!) or some other novelty thing. I usually ended up with lots of other presents from family members and friends anyway (parents always organised a nice party for me as well). I was an only child though if it makes any difference.

I think as others have said if the single present is something quite big or costly and you don't have pots of money or have other children to think of I think it's fine. If it's something quite small then it might be worthwhile chucking in a cheap box of sweets or something to go along with it. But I don't think he was really hard done by since you did take him for dinner and to the cinema and he will be getting extra presents from others anyway.

It is fine to give one present. My dts are aware of our limited means and know they won't get much. When I explain they won't get much they are cool about it and say "at least we have someone to live" (!)
Society dictates we need to give loads whereas we don't really do we?

I feel the familiar guilt coming on! Each of my 3 children get one gift of their choosing approx £30.
Mil and DM also spend or give them £30 each. Then I will do a little party. I would go crazy if I had the cash to do so.
But I do buy them little bits and Bob's most weeks.
I have thought/threatened () to stop buying little treats and just buy for their birthdays and Christmas.

I have only ever bought 1 birthday present for each of my dc. Perfectly normal.

Sounds lovely, he got loads, film, dinner, party and a present he wanted. When DS was young we had a budget and if there was a party it meant less present, he certainly wouldn't have had all of that and loads of presents, he will no doubt get loads of little gifts at his party.
When the work colleague asked did you mention he was having a party also.

My DC only get one present from me and DH on their birthdays. They get others from relatives and the children who come to their party. I think that's fine.

By the sounds you were happy with what you had done until somebody else questioned it.

Different families have different approaches to present giving. What you did was fine for your family. What seems perfectly fine in one family can seem totally daft to another family looking in. What you did was fine for your family.

Dont worry about what your colleague said. They were just looking from their own family's experience.

Tbh I think 1 present is unusual apart from on here where buying very little seems to show how great a parent you are It's not about money - opening presents is fun. If I get my kids a large main present then there is always a book they are after and sweets, puzzle books etc always go down well.

Sounds fine to me, assuming it was a decent present and not a £5 job from Home Bargains. Nothing wrong with one present even though on here where buying loads seems to show how great a parent you are

just couldn't imagine handing over one present to my child on their birthday

The number of presents you give doesn't mean the better parent you are.

What you have done is fine OP.

Get ur kid what u see fit i however enjoy spoiling mine but i still make sure they know to be grateful i was brought up the same but wouldnt expect i personally feel one gift is mean

Nah sorry not having that. Read this thread as well as the countless Christmas ones that are on every year. It's constant one upmanship regarding how little you can spend. Anyone who dare buy their child a toy AND a book is rearing an entitled ungrateful brat.

I think people will do different things and virtually all will be OK, but just thinking that especially around 8 yrs old it's good if there's some consistency from one birthday to the next and between siblings so they know what to expect, and also know that they won't get more by wheedling or being demanding!
We usually give several smaller gifts from all members of immediate family to open on birthday morning. Lots of quite silly stuff. And DC get several other pressies from other relatives. They do get asked for ideas of what they'd like, but they know the kind of ball park to go for from various people!

If you're happy with giving one present then it's fine. Don't look for approval from anyone including here. As long as you and DS are happy fuck what anyone else thinks

Seems a bit crap TBH. A few smaller bits and pieces wouldn't have hurt.

What are you not having bumsex? I'm afraid you don't get to police my thoughts! For all the competitively frugal parents on MN there are plenty who are aghast at anything less than a pile of presents.

Can you include him in some budgeting for presents for Christmas? Like perhaps asking him to help you divvy up a budget for presents for grandparents or similar? Then he will start to understand how you have to make decisions about presents v parties v size of present etc.

When I was a kid it was present(s) or party, so he's already done well!

Oh, meant to say film, dinner out and party all sound fab!

I think the birthday experiences will be remembered far longer than the pressies 99 times out of 100

Happy Birthday Mini Allen

One present from parents is not unusual or mean. I find it unusual to give more than one, at Christmas and birthday. BUT I grew up with two sisters so there would be three presents in fact, and my sons get a present from us and a present from each other. As well as presents from three aunts, two sets of grandparents and friends.

One present is the norm here from parents. And one very small present from siblings - older subs might buy it themselves, younger sibs might be provided with something small to give.

I don't think it's mean at all. And it's not about competing to spend the least (or the most), it's about what's right for you and your family.