To ask if you think 6 fish fingers is too many for a 3 year old boy to have for dinner?

[BasinHaircut]

along with half a 400g run of baked beans and chips.

Need to settle an arguement.

Cheers

Greenifer, I think your daughter is skinny and that's it. She'll probably end up a model if she gets tall enough. My nearest equivalent is my six year old who is four foot 1 and just over 22 kg. she is fairly skinny but not so you would comment. So slightly heavier and slightly shorter. I can't see that I would particularly notice a slightly taller and slightly thinner child as worthy of comment (wrt size). In fact I am sure I know a 9 year old who would fit that description and I just think that she is small. Other than, of course that I am surprised that 4foot 3 is the average height for a 9 year old (but I am not disputing this... I have read the charts) as it is way out of my experience.
Anyway girls who do ballet are tiny tiny... 6 year old wears 9-11 tights, clearly abnormally tall 9 year old wears adult tights... And they do somewhat stand out in the photographs

My children are either are absurdly healthy or I am an incredibly neglectful mother.......

Mine probably goes to the doctor a couple of times a year. She has very mild asthma (never hospitalised, very minimal medication) which necessitates a check up once a year. She's had things like a truly vile case of chicken pox, horrible conjunctivitis (more than once), a fairly major bump on the head caused by running up the ladder of a slide without due care and attention as to where the steps actually were, just normal childhood stuff. She has absolutely none of the symptoms of coeliac disease so that seems pretty unlikely.

She won't be a model as she is absolutely average height! And if she wanted six fish fingers, she could have them. She certainly eats plenty of cream, butter, cheese, yoghurt (full fat) etc. And we don't restrict quantities. While she probably wouldn't ever want six fish fingers, she would certainly eat five or six sausages any time you like.

She also does not enjoy wearing tights as they tend to be far too short and far too wide in the age appropriate size! Ballet tights have been a nightmare, quite frankly. She's all legs and arms and not much else. If only she was actually good at ballet, she would probably be the ideal shape for it!

I'm not sure how this turned into a load of people worrying about my pretty healthy and actually completely normal (if skinny) daughter, but hey. Whatever.

Small children tend to have more ailments than older ones. They get ear infections, etc. A child of 9 or 10 who goes to the doctor frequently with various ailments is more unusual.

There can be underlying causes that might need to be checked out.

Plus, what you might consider a normal diet and normal helpings might be below average in quantity just as what an overweight family might see as normal quantity and quality might be off the mark.

Tamesa, your child is three whole years younger and slightly heavier than Greenifer's DD.

To be considered obese, a child would need to be at or above the 98th percentile in weight for age. Waist circumference would need to be way up in the high 90s too. To get to that point a child would have to eat and drink a diet consisting almost entirely of junk - fatty or sugary foods and beverages daily with virtually no exercise. If your child is not near the 80th percentile for weight, and you know the components of their normal diet could not be classified as high sugar/high fat, you really don't have to worry about obesity

Sorry but this is such, such rubbish. Ds1 is just above the 80th percentile for weight for his age.

He's also above the 99.6th percentile for height and completely in proportion with not a sliver of spare fat on him. According to your generalisation though, he's not only approaching obesity but must eat a diet consisting of only junk, neither of which is the case.

Take it up with the author of the article I quoted from.

"If your child is not near the 80th percentile for weight, and you know the components of their normal diet could not be classified as high sugar/high fat, you really don't have to worry about obesity"

Your child is not eating junk but is still near the 80th percentile.
Therefore he is most likely fine.

OK, math, whatever. As you don't know my child I will take that with a pinch of salt. Nobody who does know her has any concerns about her weight or health.

Tonight DD ate a large (almost adult-sized) portion of v hearty homemade minestrone soup (more like a stew, really) with plenty of beans and meat and lentils and veg and pearl barley and olive oil, plus about half a loaf of olive ciabatta with butter and Brie. I ate the other half of the loaf and some cheese and a similar portion of soup, maybe a bit more. Then we had greek yoghurt with fruit and a slice of cake each. Then DD had a milky drink before bed and I am having a glass of wine. We have both eaten healthily and well and I have no concerns about her. We are well aware of what an adult portion of food looks like as DH does an extremely active and physical job and generally needs a larger than average amount of calories compared to most adults (he too is very slim).

Mathanxiety, thank you for pointing out the age difference, it had passed me by. On reflection though I don't think it is relevant because I was thinking of this as more of a visual thing than age thing. You see she is of a similar height and weight and looks ok, skinni-ish but not that you would necessarily comment.
I thought it would be a bit silly to compare my 9 year old who is some 8 inches taller and 5 and a half stone. Age wise certainly a better fit but in terms of size I just can't compute the differences. Greenifer, likewise, has found the concept of a 5 and a half stone girl, who is not fat, difficult to visualise.
In making your comments re the appropriateness of Greenifer's daughter's weight what are your points of reference? I do of course realise that you have quoted some articles, but you don't seem to actually have an opinion about them nor be prepared to defend them, vis a vis your comment "take it up with the author" ( may be paraphrased) above.
By the way, 6 fish fingers is not too much

Given that you can become overweight from simply eating too much I really don't think that statement makes very much sense. It's also odd that the focus is only on weight when screening for obesity tools always look at height as well. Of course BMI is very crude and there are better measures like body fat composition, and you need to be a bit careful about assuming a fat but tall child is OK as being overweight can affect growth too.

There will always be a few children at the extremes who are not unhealthily fat or thin, but for most of them it's an indicator that there may be something wrong. I'm still wondering a bit if Greenifer's dd is perhaps not quite as tall as she thinks though as my ds on the 6th centile really couldn't have got much thinner without losing muscle, he really had no fat on him at all (you could see all his bones and muscles too). While he is/was very healthy (and ate a too) his thinness was certainly commented on.

I love you, Tamesa. Thank you.

The interesting thing in all this is if you look at threads where people are saying 'is my kid under/over weight, what should I do, I don't really know if s/he is', the v first question people ask is 'what are your familial norms'. So, are you fat/skinny, are you tall/short, what do people in your family tend to look like? The fact is that children will be likely to be similar to their closest relatives. So I have a kid who has two average height and slim to very slim parents (both of whom were extremely skinny in childhood), and four grandparents who are all slimmer than average (two average height, one short, one tall). It is not exactly rocket science that this family background might have produced a child who is average height but pretty skinny. None of the adults in this mix have ever been on a diet or tried to restrict their food in any way. There is no familial background of eating disorders or problems with food. There is just no problem. Some people are slim. Some are fat. Some are tall and some are short. Sometimes, it's just how we are and you just get on with it and eat healthily and accept your size/weight as part of who you are.

I am guessing at least one out of your and your partner is tall, Tamesa!

Tallish, 5ft 8 and 6 foot 1; but feeling increasingly dwarfed by increasingly growing children. I hadn't realised how tall my youngest actually was until this all started, I am used to them all just being taller than their classmates.
They are strong and healthy and eat vast amounts...but I have never bought fish fingers.
It's the 1 to 2 tablespoons of beans that have amazed me more than the sweeping generalisations..... If I give the younger 3 beans on toast for lunch, I do two tins for the three of them AND they have butter on the toast.
No one in the house has been to the doctor for at least two years and no one is fat

I am generally amazed by the opposite kinds of things. Actually as DD has made it to average height, I am really pleased as she was always the shortest in her class until last year (began life on the 25th centile for both weight and height but then her height centile went up slowly and the other went down). I keep being astonished when I pick her up from school that she isn't the titchiest.

DD is also strong and healthy, dances, sings, plays musical instruments at a fairly high level, runs competitively, has had two days off school for illness in the last two years. Clearly not unwell.

I have not been to the doctor in ages. I take DD if I am concerned but really don't think twice a year on average for a child is anything to be concerned about, esp if one of those visits is asked for by the doctor!

I know DD is skinny but I also know she is healthy and she is also someone who is hopefully (like your children) being brought up to listen to her body and eat what she needs. I would never force her to finish stuff if I thought she'd genuinely had enough. Nor would I stop her eating something she really wanted. That way madness lies. I actually adore fish fingers and buy them regularly so I can have fish finger sandwiches for lunch. I would generally just eat the number that would fit in the bread. Unless I was v hungry or not v hungry, in which case I would adjust the bread and fish finger quantities. That's just normal, I think.

Many people have ancestors who were skinny. People tended not to be overweight in days of yore, mainly because many of them didn't really get enough to eat.

Also, women in particular tended to diet because it was considered ok to make fun of fat women. And people smoked a lot.

My point of reference is the growth chart for girls that I linked earlier. Scroll down to page 2 for sample charts and use the right hand chart for girls over age 8. You may need to zoom in. (For girls under 8 see the left hand chart).

129.5 cm is 50th percentile for height and 21 kg is just under the 2nd percentile for weight for a 9 yo.

I really think a child who runs competitively and dances and occupies this low percentile for weight should have her dietary needs assessed by a dietician.

If he's eating it and not overweight, he's eating exactly the right amount. I give mine as much as she's willing to eat. During her growth spurt there was a few days she was horking down 6 pancakes and that was just breakfast. She's still below 50th percentile in weight for her height, and she could easily eat 6 fish fingers if she didn't have any snacks after her nap.

If it makes you feel better you could try to give him healthier things to munch on. But at 3, I really would not worry about how much he's eating and just make sure he's eating healthy.