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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nakedness

62 replies

cjt110 · 04/10/2016 10:07

Our son is 2. My husband and I both sleep naked. This means there are times I may go into my son's room in the night when he is crying with nothing on. We also have an ensuite so if he is in our room when one of us is getting out of the shower, he sees us naked.

I was thinking the other day that there is likely to come a time we need to stop being naked around him. Has anyone found them in a similar situation and when did you stop being naked around your children?

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 04/10/2016 10:08

-posted too soon.

We don't generally wander around nude and it really is the night time wake ups and getting in/out of the shower/bed.

OP posts:
rhiaaaaaaaannon · 04/10/2016 10:09

I'm still doing it occasionally and my eldest is 6.

BathshebaDarkstone · 04/10/2016 10:10

It hasn't happened yet! Probably when one of them says, "Mum/Dad, please put some clothes on!"

Original poster
cjt110 · 04/10/2016 10:13

I guess there will hopefully come a time he sleeps through too so that will eliminate most of the issue!

OP posts:
Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 04/10/2016 10:13

Maybe when ds takes an interest in your dh??? (Blush) my ds always comments on dh 'dadas private willy!!' especially mornings it's not too child friendly looking maybe some boxers?? Just my opinion before I get lynched!!

Teahornet · 04/10/2016 10:15

You're worried about a toddler seeing you naked? What o earth do you think is going to happen that is so damaging?

We're not a particularly nudist household, but we both take baths and showers with our four year old, and DH sleeps naked, so if DS needs attention in the night, he's naked, and likewise when DS gets into our bed in the mornings - and we're both often rushing about getting ready in the morning trying to locate socks and school uniforms without any clothes on.

Original poster
cjt110 · 04/10/2016 10:27

Teahornet I am asking for experience of others as to what is appropriate. I didnt say there was anything damaging about it.

OP posts:
WhooooAmI24601 · 04/10/2016 10:27

I sleep naked. DS1 is 11 next week and whilst I don't prance about nude in front of him, he'll walk in while I'm in the bath and sit having a poo and chat to me. I chuck on a dressing gown if I get up in the night with them, but we're a bit laid back about nudity generally. He comes in while I'm in the shower to ask where stuff is sometimes, and DS2 (5) thinks nothing of trying to get into the shower with me. I think when it starts to bother them you have to go with what they're comfortable with.

tibbawyrots · 04/10/2016 10:31

he'll walk in while I'm in the bath and sit having a poo

lovely. Hmm

GladAllOver · 04/10/2016 10:32

This was covered at length in a very recent thread.

There's no harm at all in family nudity. In fact it's very positive for children to grow up seeing what normal human bodies are like as opposed to photoshopped pictures of celebs. And also for them to know that bodies are not 'dirty', or associated with pornography.

If your growing children eventually dislike seeing you naked then of course you should take their into account, but if that was a very sudden reaction you might want to find out why.

In my family we were always comfortable unclothed around the house even as teenagers. It just wasn't an issue and we thought nothing of it.

Original poster
cjt110 · 04/10/2016 10:39

In my family, we werent prudes as such but I dont recall many times seeing my Mum undressed and definitely not my Dad and so I wasn't ever unclothed in front of them that I recall. This has gotten more relaxed as I have gotten older and whilst in say a bra, I will change a top in front of my Mum.

My husband I have no issues with nudity - we have sunvbathed many a time nude on holiday (in the appropriate places I might add) and I would often walk around naked at home pre-DC.

YY to your explanation Glad I suppose it's just take his lead so to speak?

OP posts:
Mari50 · 04/10/2016 10:39

My DD is 7 and still sees me naked (when I'm getting dressed or in the shower), her dad is a bit more modest and usually puts underwear on and prefers not to be interrupted when he's showering. This just intrigues her more.

Byefelisha · 04/10/2016 10:45

I go topless now but not bottomless my sons are 5 and 6. When they were younger one of them said mum are you gunna put knickers on?
That was the moment I thought they were too old.
They do come in the bathroom sometimes when I'm in the bath though.

LittleLionMansMummy · 04/10/2016 10:53

Ds is nearly 6 and none of us worry about nudity. I just go on the basis that when any of us become uncomfortable with it, we'll stop. That hasn't happened yet and we've used it as an opportunity to answer ds's questions about anatomy difference between genders. We've never given him reason to feel our bodies are somehow shameful, yet there are still boundaries - he knows he covers up when visitors are here.

Schmoochypoos · 04/10/2016 11:01

DS1 is an inquisitive 3 year old and is always asking about willies and bums, 'mum have you got a willy!!' Grin I walk around naked, as do they. I hadn't thought what happens when they get older?!

ParanoidGynodroid · 04/10/2016 11:04

When either you or your DC feel uncomfortable with it is the time to stop. I remember my DS becoming very modest about his own nudity at about 8-9, however he'd still think nothing of walking into the bathroom when I was having a bath!

I used to teach year 2, and one little boy during a discussion said "I wish my mum would put her knickers on. She's always coming into my room without them." Cue much hilarity. He continued: "And sometimes she's BALD!" Even more hilarity.
Be sensitive to your child's wishes, and be careful not to be the mum in the classroom anecdote!

Imnotaslimjim · 04/10/2016 11:07

My DC are 8 and 10 and DH and I are still naked in front of them regularly. Nothing wrong with IMO. If either of them ever asked us to cover up we would be neither of them have been uncomfortable with it.

crystalballbroke · 04/10/2016 11:08

Ds3 didn't stop breastfeeding until he was just over 2. He is now 6 and greets my boobs as dear, old friends, if he sees me getting dressed/undressed.

LolaStarr · 04/10/2016 11:14

My DS is 3 next week and he sees myself and DH naked loads. He has a bath with both of us, and as we both sleep naked he sees us if we go through to him overnight or if he gets into bed with us in the morning. I don't see the issue at all!

maz210 · 04/10/2016 11:23

I'm only ever naked in the bathroom or my bedroom so I take the attitude that the kids will start knocking if they no longer want to see me naked.

They're 8 and 9 at the moment and both of them still take great delight in wobbling my belly or smacking Mum's big bum while I'm getting dried after a shower so they obviously aren't bothered by it at the moment. I'm guessing that might change when they're teenagers though.

FleurThomas · 04/10/2016 11:27

Nothing wrong with nudity as such but you do need to be prepared for the school to bring you in if DC mentions it. I absolutely hate changing/showering around my neices/nephews when I'm baby sitting but they refuse to leave to give me even a minute alone. I even have to use the toilet with them there. Neice made one comment comparing my and her mums 'boobies' with her teachers and I was dragged in (am her legal guardian)& had a social services referral which was thankfully cancelled but I was terrified.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 04/10/2016 12:27

be prepared for the school to bring you in if DC mention it
WTAF? If a school tried to ' bring me in' for being naked in my own house they'd get short shrift! Don't be so riduculous! Nudity is fine and healthy, even with teenagers, so long as everyone's happy.
Gawd almighty!

catgirl1976 · 04/10/2016 12:30

DS is 5 and we are still naked around him. Not all the time obviously :) But in the mornings, or getting out of the bath or shower and we sleep naked so if he comes in or we go to him in the night.

I think when he says "Yuck - put some clothes on Mummy" is the time to stop being naked around him. Until it bothers him we will carry on. Nothing wrong with nakedness and when it becomes an issue for him I am sure he will let us know. He doesn't usually hold back.

JoandMax · 04/10/2016 12:32

As long as you're all comfortable then keep doing it as long as you want.

My DS's are 6 and 8 and see DH and I naked regularly, none of us are bothered by it so far!

catgirl1976 · 04/10/2016 12:32

He did once ask me (whilst staring intently at me as I was getting dressed) "Mummy, are you furious that you haven't got a willy?" Confused Grin

No, I've come to terms with it sweetheart Grin

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