to wonder what country life is really like?

[longestlurkerever]

I've always wanted to start a thread to ask what people in the countryside actually do at weekends and after work, but thought it might come across as a bit rude. But there have been so many threads asking how people can bear living in London lately that I am just going to ask.

I love beautiful countryside. Sometimes I feel if I moved somewhere glorious I could just sit and drink in the view and feel happy. But then I kick myself and think "but what would you actually do?" Where would you take the kids when they're driving you mad and you just need to get out of the house? Would you really just go for yet another walk? Do kids really keep themselves entertained all day with a stick like MN would have you believe? What about when it's dark at 4pm or wet every weekend for months?

So, people who enjoy country life - can you describe what you actually fill your time with? Especially if you're a bit meh about horses and animals in general? Or is that no one who lives in the country?

I grew up in the countryside and spent and awful lot of my time bored. I desperately wanted to live where all my friends did in the local town, always felt I was missing out. My parents must have been fed up with giving us endless lifts though they never complained. My self and two sisters all left for the city as soon as we could!

I moved back to the countryside with DC and now can't imagine bringing them up anywhere else.

It isn't a lonely isolated rural life either- there are different towns all 10- 20 mins away so you can get to cinemas, soft play, museums, heritage centres, galleries, theatres, children's centres, libraries, wildlife parks, forest schools etc but I love the varied countryside and walks and because we're on the coast a choice of beaches... DC even swam in sea today!

I don't think country life is better but it's probably hard for visitors to get a sense of everything that is on if you live here.

I used to like watching Wife Swap to see how urban/ rural couples coped with the differences.

It's real horses for courses isn't it. I grew up in a seaside town, have lived in a big city, and now on a smallish Island in a pretty rural spot. The latter suits me best. What I love is the freedom it allows the kids. The activities we do, for free, on our doorstep don't require the children to be reigned in at all, as a trip to a museum or art gallery would do. They can run, climb, explore and generally get grubby and exhausted, every day. (Helps that we home ed so they really do get a lot of freedom). Whilst I loved living nearer a wide range of shops when I lived in a city as a singleton, I would hate it now. I need space, and quiet, and calm. I like that our version of a traffic jam is a few cars behind a tractor, and that we only have one dual carriageway which is about 1/4 of a mile long. We have more horses go past our house than cars. I don't feel the anxiety that I do in busy, crowded places...that just makes me hold onto the kids really tight in case they get separated!

I live in a very small village - moved here from London.

Honestly most weekends are spent doing exactly the same stuff as I did in London: washing, tidying, paperwork, weekly shop, garden lying about in bed being a slob The main difference is the garden is much much nicer and bigger as is the house

I miss the fact you could go and do anything at anytime in London - but we do more now it isn't on tap. We like art galleries, classical music etc - so always go to shows in our local large museum in neighbouring town, have searched out which companies tour to nearby large towns and make a special effort and so on.

However while where we live would be great for little kids, I think it would drive teens insane. And we plan to move to a town when we retire as driving is essential here - no bus and £15 in a taxi before you reach civilzation

To the people who have lived in London but now live in the country - does the lack of diversity bother you? I am always struck when sitting on the Tube by how few white English people are sharing my carriage (when I look at the book the person next to me is reading it is invariably in a foreign language. My local shopkeepers are Indian, Turkish and Algerian, within walking distance of my house there are Korean, Japanese, Italian, Greek, Persian, French, Ethiopian, Indian, Bangladeshi restaurants. That's what I love about it and it's what I would miss most.

Witsender! One dual carriageway which is about 1/4 of a mile long Thats my one traffic jam of the day! ( unless there are people doing 20mph along the middle road!! .

"To the people who have lived in London but now live in the country - does the lack of diversity bother you?"

Only from an eating out/being able to buy exotic ingredients point of view. We do have Indian and Chinese restaurants within a few miles, but for greater diversity I would have to drive to Sheffield or Leeds.

I don't care who I live near as long as they aren't noisy or have unsociable habits.

I grew up in the country in England and have lived in cities too. We now live in a tiny village in New Zealand. If you are new to rural life, you should think of being in a village, not the back of beyond. Somewhere with a shop, school and pub will give you the best of both worlds. Kids can have playdates and a decent garden is important.
You will miss going out on the town, but we have friends over for barbies in the summer and wine by the fire in winter. A dog is a good companion for the kids and they are less fearful than city kids I find.
You need to be organized about your grocery shopping as you can't easily pop out for things. A well stocked pantry is important.
I think that rural life only becomes problematic for kids when they hit their teens. When kids get bored that get into trouble. If they have a time consuming hobby like horses or dirt bikes, that's great. If not, be prepared to be taxi service for a few years. The village I grew up in was very affluent, but that didn't mean drugs and under age drinking were less common.

Does the lack of diversity bother you - Yes and No.

On a day to day basis, probably not - except for the superficial things like not being able to go to the Middle Eastern shop for ingredients and only having a standard curry house, not somewhere that does Sri Lankan and so on.

Round election time - OMG yes, stuck in Brexit Tory land with people who feel we are flooded with immigrants yes nextdoor neighbour I mean you

Wolpertinger has put it better than I did. Although where we live the Brexiters were racist labour voters.

ProfYaffle sounds like we might be close.... I grew up in Edinburgh and as much as I love it there I think my children have a better childhood here.
This weekend other than the usual chores we have been doggy swimming with a local dog walking group at a special dog swimming pool, we've been riding, daughter has been to pony club, son has been swimming and husband has been buying diy stuff. I definitely haven't been sitting around bored!

"Does the lack of diversity bother you - Yes and No."

I'd echo this. Political viewpoints down here can be a little closed minded as a result which can be annoying. I'd say it's only really the older gen / died in the wool locals that are like that though.

I did miss the variety of foods - being able to pick up Indian sweets, street food etc st the drop of a hat etc but that's about it.

I worried a bit that my children would be in homogenous white British environments at school but that has turned out not to be the case. In DDs class, for example, there are children from Germany, Tanzania, South Africa, India and Nigeria.

Having moved from the outskirts of a major city to wensleydale North Yorkshire I can say it is the best place I can imagine bringing up my kids it's safe and my mind isn't constantly in overdrive when they're out. It's a tad boring though

I live very rurally but only ten minutes to the local market town. I also lived in London for a long time. It is actually quicker for me now to get the train from the towns station and get to Manchester or Liverpool to the theatre/concert/museum etc than it was for me to get the underground

I live in the country. I couldn't imagine bringing children up anywhere else. Today we walked into the village to church, then DS2 and DD played football in the field while I cooked dinner. DS1 was playing rugby this morning, which was a 2hr round trip for DH.

The nearest small town is only a few miles away, they have a library and a supermarket and doctors. I don't need any of those things right on my doorstep. We have the internet (even if it slow) and although we don't have very good mobile signal inside the house it is OK in the garden.

It does take a long time to get anywhere though - 1.5hrs to our nearest motorway, over an hour to Tesco or Asda. 1.5hrs to our nearest M&S. Trains from our nearest town are slow and infrequent. Same goes for buses. But the positives outweigh the negatives by a long way.

What do city teens do? I remember hanging out, underage drinking, smoking etc. Which is what people seem to think our country teens are doing. Are people seriously saying city teens go to theatres, art galleries etc? My teens see their mates, get a bus into town or the city-takes a while but that's part of the fun of it-do sports, do country stuff. I can't quite work out what city kids are doing differently?
At the end of the day, it depends on what kind of person you are. If you are a country person you're a country person, if not and you need the constant variety and gratification of city stuff then you're not!

We moved from Herts to an East Yorkshire coastal town 13 years ago. I can be in York in 50 mins (as long as I don't get stuck behind farm vehicles!) And Hull in 30-40 mins( depending on traffic/weather conditions). It was strange to begin with, but now I think nothing of the travelling. There are so many things to do in the area. I don't miss my hometown (except I've not got to see the Harry Potter experience!), And I can visit London as a tourist, going down by train.(2 1/2 hours)
As for diversity...ours is a very white area, there is a smattering of other races, but no 'communities', as such. (Well maybe Chinese, there are several Chinese children in our school)

We live in the right proper countryside. 1 neighbour over the road. No shop. No pub.

We come home and we do home things. Cooking, tidying, homework, emails, telly, reading.

Immediately from our doorstep is walks on the lanes or fields and den building in the woods. A large garden the kids can spend hours in.

That's it. Anything else is a drive away to varying degrees.

But surely, except people living within a 15 minute walk from every amenity they ever use, this is what all of us do?

I grew up in a small town (though now it's got ~8000 people so maybe not so small anymore) and as I got into my teens, I really started to dislike it. Disclaimer, I'm from the US so a slightly different experience, but we used to drive around all the time and explore random towns for a lack of anything better to do. Jumping into rivers, stopping on mountains to walk around, things like that. Oh, and tons of experimenting with drugs and alcohol of course. It's a teen thing everywhere, I know, but I think it has to be said that drugs and alcohol are huge in rural communities.

As a kid it was a lot more exciting because we'd go frogging, wander around the woods, bike everywhere, and walk to the pizza/ice cream shop to get ice cream. One of our favorite games was to pretend we were spies. Our parents let us run around pretty much from morning to dinnertime. It was an idyllic childhood, but by the time I finished high school, I couldn't wait to get out of there. It really depends on your personality though. I have friends who probably won't ever leave and friends who will probably never go back. Personally, I'm more suited city living, but we'll see how I feel in a few years!

I don't think drugs are an inevitable part of rural living for teenagers, or at least, they weren't. I wouldn't have had a clue where to find anything more than a toke on a bong. We drank quite a lot, but no more than teenagers in cities I don't think.

I don't have teens so I don't know, but colleagues say that teens in London can have an incredible amount of freedom - all they need is a travelcard and London is their playground. I don't imagine many go to galleries but gigs, events, sporting things, certainly. One of the few teens I know goes to comic conventions and things. Not everyone's bag but in London you can find your people.

Wet, dark and cold winters

Not sure cities are exempt from weather but I am prepared to be corrected.

No culture, no decent night life, social isolation

I could travel 25 mins by train and have a massive arena, three top class theatres and as much nightlife as you want. On the other hand I bloody love social isolation.

The more beautiful the countryside = more tourists. You moved for peace and quiet but people have followed you. You dream of a bucolic, peaceful Sunday afternoon in your sculpted garden but all you hear is the ear splitting racket of Sunday bikers racing each other to the parking ticket machine on the coast and hikers who need to talk at 200 decibels as they anticipate a 6 miler to the pub

Nope not here. Its glorious but not touristy. I suppose the most famous touristy bit is probably 20 mins away but we went over May Spring Bank and it was quiet.

Local services such as libraries, GP surgeries and primary schools shutting due to lack of funding

Nope - all still open

High Council Tax Rates even though you live in a hill 40 minutes drive from your nearest Starbucks and the only evidence of your tax dollars being sent is the binman arriving once a fortnight

Nope - I live in one of the lowest council tax rate areas in the county

By all means don't like the countryside. But just say that.

I don't like cities. For me they're busy, noisy and just generally a bit grim. Doesn't mean I don't understand why other people love them.

" I don't think drugs are an inevitable part of rural living for teenagers, "

let me tell you that the countryside is awash with drugs, and there is nothing else for them to do.
From where I lived in the deep country, (2 miles to the nearest shop, 15 miles to town, 3 buses a day) I could name you three weed farms in a two mile radius. And those were just the ones I knew about.

My village wasn't awash with drugs. Not all villages are like that. But lots are.

Ada just because yours was, doesn't mean all are FGS!

And I find this "there's nothing else to do" refrain total bollocks actually. There's always something else to do if you go and look for something to do.