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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder what country life is really like?

235 replies

longestlurkerever · 02/10/2016 13:58

I've always wanted to start a thread to ask what people in the countryside actually do at weekends and after work, but thought it might come across as a bit rude. But there have been so many threads asking how people can bear living in London lately that I am just going to ask.

I love beautiful countryside. Sometimes I feel if I moved somewhere glorious I could just sit and drink in the view and feel happy. But then I kick myself and think "but what would you actually do?" Where would you take the kids when they're driving you mad and you just need to get out of the house? Would you really just go for yet another walk? Do kids really keep themselves entertained all day with a stick like MN would have you believe? What about when it's dark at 4pm or wet every weekend for months?

So, people who enjoy country life - can you describe what you actually fill your time with? Especially if you're a bit meh about horses and animals in general? Or is that no one who lives in the country?

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honeyroar · 02/10/2016 16:48

We live in open countryside on a small holding. We have dogs and horses, so walk and ride, and the upkeep of the land and stables keep us busy. We are a mile away from a big village, which has a post office, chemist, coop, three pubs, and Chinese, Italian and Indian restaurants. The village organises a lot throughout the year, we have a party in the park music festival, a world famous brass band contest, street parties and Xmas parades. Everyone knows each other. It's a lovely community. There are scout and brownie packs, plus aerobics classes etc. The next five villages are very close and have a lot of bars and restaurants too. The nearest town is 5 miles away, with big supermarkets and stores, and there are trams from there to Manchester, which has all the facilities of a big city and is only 12 miles from our open countryside. There is obviously also an international airport too. This week alone we have seen Cirque du Soleil in Manchester and been to a large stately home, both were less than 30 mins journey from home. To be honest, the fact that it is so commutable is killing the area now. Lots of people have moved into the area from the towns and cities, they want the big old house in the countryside and the Range Rover, and enjoy the community events, but won't put anything back into helping organise them. It's starting to feel much less rural. I actually feel that my husband and I will move out somewhere more rural and isolated once our parents are gone.

As a child who grew up in the same place I live now, I, and my siblings/friends, spent a lot of time wandering around the valley playing, I can't even remember what, but we were out all hours.

I have lived in Paris, so experienced big city living, and as long as I lived in a quiet area I enjoyed it when younger. I lived in Brighton too. The areas I haven't enjoyed living were small market ton type places, they didn't have the benefits of either country or city for me.

JenLindleyShitMom · 02/10/2016 16:53

But I can't fathom getting up the next day and doing it all over again smile

Conker season was one of the highlights of my year as a child. We got so giddy talking about it and everyone (Proper country school, 40 kids in total at one point while I was there) would be competing to collect as many conkers as they could. We would whinge about having to come indoors after a day out collecting and busting to do it all again the next day.

NicknameUsed · 02/10/2016 17:48

"But you get that in cities as well"

More to do in cities.

Erm, yes, but what has the weather to do with it? When it is cold, wet and dark I don't go out anyway, regardless of where I live.

ItsJustNotRight · 02/10/2016 18:38

What you will never have in a rural location is a proper ethnic mix or understanding of different cultures (I expect I will get a roasting for that). I grew up in London and moved to north Wales in my late teens. Since then I have lived in many different locations in the northwest and now am in the south west. I love it where I live, I love having a day in London and getting off the train when I get home , there's no people, no traffic, it's just beautiful and peaceful but it is totally white, English (not even Scots/Irish/Welsh). I look at all this space and the white polpulation and wonder how the locals get so worked up about immigration and our supposedly overcrowded country.

scaryteacher · 02/10/2016 19:04

Walks at the local NT property with a cream tea in winter and ice cream in summer. The donkey park and playing outside in summer and using the soft play there in winter. Walking up Kit Hill, flying kites, swimming lessons, activities at the village hall, sewing, reading, baking, curling up in front of the woodburner with the marking.....using the village shop, getting a wave from those who know you, being on local committees etc.

I now live just outside Brussels, and don't tend to go on as I don't like cities. I miss Cornwall and am looking forward to moving back.

We still had broadband, a DVD player, a music to listen to, the same stuff as I would do living in a town. As for 'culture' define it? I had access to books, papers, art galleries, exhibitions at museums, fine dining, good wine, and the countryside is a damn sight quieter than London.

Shockers · 02/10/2016 19:07

We have some ethnic diversity in our small rural town. Not as much as in a city, but it's there and we're all the richer for it.

RebelandaStunner · 02/10/2016 19:12

Our holiday cottage is in the country. Fields on three sides yet walking distance to a lovely village with loads of amenities- several shops, cafes, restaurants, pubs and a cinema, walks and parks. It's a really friendly place with lots going on- festivals, food fairs etc.
Our DS hates it now and doesn't go atm- too boring! and buses to the nearest town stop at 5pm. But DD likes it still- lots of horse riding and stuff for her to do.
At night it is very dark. It's so peaceful and we love the wildlife.

Sparrowlegs248 · 02/10/2016 19:12

Pre child I would go to the gym after work (straight from work) I also go to my stables before and after work to deal with the ponies. In the summer and lighter nights I might ride. Walk up to the pub.

Weekends, daytimes again pony stuff and riding. Go to the beach, woods etc (with or without ponies, with child now) Go to the park with child. Don't go out much in the evening atm but would previously go into town, cinema, meal, pub etc. Not so much choice as a city obviously.

I always said I could live in a city and do that whole lifestyle, but it would be very very different.

NicknameUsed · 02/10/2016 19:13

"What you will never have in a rural location is a proper ethnic mix or understanding of different cultures (I expect I will get a roasting for that)"

Not from me. It's true of the area I live in. There are a few students from ethnic minorities at DD's school, but so few it is noticeable. Historically our area was a mining area and "outsiders" were simply not made welcome.

Sadly I still think there is an element of racism in our nearest town.

I grew up in Croydon which had a real mix of people from different backgrounds.

Pardonwhat · 02/10/2016 19:16

I find there's loads to do with kids. But I wouldn't be so sure of that without a car. I'm about 45/50 minutes to the nearest city where there is most amenities but we're used to the journey.
Locally we mostly do outdoors things. Walks, the park, horses, fruit picking, playing on bikes etc.
Entertainment for myself is the pub! We've got quite a lot of beautiful pubs within a 10 minute drive in different directions. People are very sociable in them and we always have a great night.
I couldn't ever go back to living in a city.

Laska5772 · 02/10/2016 19:28

Ah..Autumn in the countryside.. yes mud, and 'country smells' this time of year along with lots of tractors on the roads getting the fields fertilizied with nice 'muck' ready for the next sowing .. (they put seaweed on our local fields also , after a storm tide, that really smells nice!)

Lots of great blackberries apples , wild plums etc leaves turning, great walks and sticks! .. but you lot have also appear to have forgotten that this is the time of the year when the big spiders appear in the garden and try and get into the house (along with the crane flies and mice.. ) ..

I dont mind though..

longestlurkerever · 02/10/2016 19:33

Loving all the fruit picking! We to a fair bit of that too in blackberry season but not sure I could build a life around it. Some stuff you all mention as hobbies sounds suspiciously like extra work - mucking out stables and digging potatoes and so on - I am a bit jealous of the pubs though! And the reading of books in lovely locations - if you can actually access them.

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longestlurkerever · 02/10/2016 19:34

Ha we get plenty of pests in the city too so I will let you off that one!

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gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 02/10/2016 19:37

Provided it's not pig manure, I actually like the smell of manure. It makes me feel safe. Blush

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 02/10/2016 19:40

What is a proper ethnic mix when it's at home? [hmmm]

People from other ethnic backgrounds may not find their way to the country so often, but when they integrate they really do integrate, perhaps because virtually everyone lives in a more integrated, communal way in the country. Whereas in the city it's more anonymous so you may see a larger variety of faces but know them very little.

Orda1 · 02/10/2016 19:41

Bloody amazing!

Laska5772 · 02/10/2016 19:44

Yes, I dont mind country smells either and I love the smell of silage!! - and cowsheds.. ( now that is weird, eh? ) ..

But i spent a lot of my childhood on farms - even though we were townies ,, my parents were keen members of the camping club inthe 60's and 70's and we were out nearly every weekend farm camping from easter to mid autumn..

I'm so lucky to be living semi - rurally now (on the edge of a village) , and near the sea.. but within an hour to city and love it

Laska5772 · 02/10/2016 19:47

Ah and while we are here.. anyone got a cure for Moles (the furry digging type) , which doesnt involve poison? (or ferrets?)

longestlurkerever · 02/10/2016 19:49

A lot of my friends from other countries (yes I do know them. Why on earth wouldn't I?) say they do feel properly foreign if they leave London whereas in London where they are from is just not of very much interest to anyone. I can't speak for them, but quite a few different people have said that to me. If I am honest politics would worry me a bit. I do rather like living in an out of touch bubble sometimes.

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HermioneJeanGranger · 02/10/2016 19:52

I'm in the countryside (Lake District) and love it.

I spend a lot of time outdoors. Hiking, lake-swimming in summer and I love the beach too. In winter there's snowboarding and skiing if you're willing to cart stuff up mountains, or if you have a car there are some great sledding routes up on the fells.

The only thing I dislike is having to drive to most places - my town has three Tesco express/Spar type shops but no big supermarket, for example. You get used to it but when I moved here it took a lot of adapting!

I am within an hour of several towns and a large-ish city though, which definitely helps. I wouldn't like to live any more rurally than I already do, but I love where I do live.

kansasmum · 02/10/2016 19:55

I grew up in the country and after living in various countries we moved back 9 years ago to a village 3 miles from where I grew up.
What I like
Fresh air
Great walks
Rivers to paddle in 1/2mile away- and beaches to walk on within 15 mins drive
Safe open spaces for my ds to play in
Great community feel
Great pub
Great village shop run by us villagers!
Great village school

What I dislike
Small village politics is tiresome at times
You do need a car to access decent shopping etc
There is NO bus service here so I am chief taxi driver. But knew that when we moved here.
Roads are full of potholes and we always wait ages for repairs
Broadband is often slow and mobile phone signal is hit and miss.

But I do love living in clean green fresh air space and occasionally whilst walking the dogs and looking at yet another stunning view I pinch myself that I really live here!

OrangeNoodle · 02/10/2016 19:59

I moved from inner London to a village in Cornwall. These are some of the things we have done with our last few weekends, all within a 15 mile radius of our house:

  • Beach walk and picnic, view beach exhibition of local art (200 yards from front door)
  • Theatre trip to see Sound of Music with DD (nearest town 20 mins drive)
  • Drinks with friends and neighbours at local pub, live music (400 yards away)
  • Usual weekend stuff like kids swimming lessons, trip to the gym, Waitrose shop, shoe shopping (20 mins drive)
  • Pop in to see family who live in town, got wagamama take away and watched amazing boats glide by past their apartment on the river
  • Attend local music festival in Looe (10 mins drive)
  • Literature lecture and writing workshops at local university (20 mins drive)
  • Kayaking down the river to the pub
  • DIY and chores at home

A lot more than we used to do in London, where we could just about bear to walk the kids down to the park and have a coffee, because going anywhere else meant battling on public transport or in traffic.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 02/10/2016 20:00

We go out in the car. To be fair if you don't drive round here you're fairly limited.

Spudlet · 02/10/2016 20:01

It's become noticeably more diverse here since I moved here (8 years or so). I think that will continue, which can only be a good thing.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 02/10/2016 20:10

I have always lived in a small village. I think we can do much the same as anyone else, we just have to travel a bit further. I can be in the centre of a major city within an hour of walking out of my door. The nearest small town is a 10 minute car journey away. Its probably just the teenage years which are a bit difficult as parents have to give lifts all the time due to virtually no public transport.
As well as having more peace and quite, nice views and clean air I have neighbours I know. I would guess I know around half the people who live in the village well enough to speak to. There is a good community spirit as we do not have many facilities people tend to get together to make their own entertainment, tomorrow I'm cooking for the harvest supper in the village hall along with a number of others, around 100 villagers will be attending. I'm also organising a team for the village quiz at the weekend. There are lots of pubs/restaurants in different villages.

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