to wonder what country life is really like?

[longestlurkerever]

I've always wanted to start a thread to ask what people in the countryside actually do at weekends and after work, but thought it might come across as a bit rude. But there have been so many threads asking how people can bear living in London lately that I am just going to ask.

I love beautiful countryside. Sometimes I feel if I moved somewhere glorious I could just sit and drink in the view and feel happy. But then I kick myself and think "but what would you actually do?" Where would you take the kids when they're driving you mad and you just need to get out of the house? Would you really just go for yet another walk? Do kids really keep themselves entertained all day with a stick like MN would have you believe? What about when it's dark at 4pm or wet every weekend for months?

So, people who enjoy country life - can you describe what you actually fill your time with? Especially if you're a bit meh about horses and animals in general? Or is that no one who lives in the country?

I live in an Italian EU Oasis of Natural Beauty cos... birds. Lots of birds. It is beautiful.

This weekend I have binged watched Call the Midwife (just got Netfliks) and am now sobbing cos ... season 5 did not end well.

I do go out into the nature. If I have to. Like say... to hang the washing up. But mostly I stay inside to avoid gales/cold/mucho hottness/mosquitos/sheild bugs/magpies that are a bit too friendly for anybody's good etc.

I still love living here. It's quite. When all the legions of birds aren't kicking off.

I had to watch CTM at volume 30. Even with all the windows shut.

DH does things in the garden.

DS has turned the lawn into his personal basketball court, so also "does things in the garden". When he is or in town, playing basketball, or hanging out with his firends.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog has a point especially in London about actually going to all the great on the door step stuff.

DH lived there for a while studying - he made sure he went places and was bemused so many other tried to do stuff last few weeks even the free stuff then struggled to fit it all in. Friend's who lived in same northern city as us said they went out more as it wasn't as expensive.

My rural based parents could only run one car - it was needed to get them to work - it often wasn't available to run all of us round to things. They did try - clubbing together with other parents to share lifts and remember a group of us went in local taxi to regular extra curriculum event but it was a real headache for them and often they said no to us doing things.

Later couldn't do after school events at secondary as couldn't get back. I found it limiting being rural where we were.

Weekends were long drives us cramped in back to place or family visits or shopping - or watching TV and reading. Mum hated us hanging round village streets as other teens other did as she knew there was a big drug and drink culture.

We lived quite a few places have been happiest in two quiet outskirt medium sized city locations which had great community, access to countryside, good links to other cities. We thought they had pretty much best of everything.

We live in the country but not remote. We are in a little village, ten minutes from the local town, about an hour from a big city. We are not as remote as where I grew up as a kid, where I was reliant on mum and dad for lifts, here we have a bus stop at the end of the road so when dd is older she will have some independence.

We fill our time either going for walks, to the village park, or events in the village (at the school or village hall) or we will pop into town for things.

The only thing I envy about people living in towns is that it's easier heading out for a dinner. Here one of us always has to drive, it's quite expensive for taxis both ways, so it's always a bit of a shame to go out for a meal and not be able to share a bottle of wine. Luckily our local does good food so we go there instead or save "date nights" to go away overnight.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog has a point especially in London about actually going to all the great on the door step stuff.

I think I do. I think you have to, or the downsides of London (I admit there are some - no beautiful countryside for one) aren't worth it and you move out. The one thing I don't do much of is the theatre as that really is £££ and it's not really my thing. I take the girls to children's theatre though. I do go to museums, galleries, exhibitions, events, restaurants etc though. You need a travelcard (or bikes) to make the most of it, but since you can live without a car that's all your commuting costs covered.

Some of the lifestyles you describe do appeal though. "Tinklylittlelaugh"'s life sounds nice. I think I'd like my life to be a bit more like that - but I can't imagine the dc letting me potter about reading. Maybe there will come a time when they will!

Doesn't going to restaurants, museums and galleries become a little tedious after a while though? I mean it becomes the same as our dog walks, stick throwing and blackberry collecting but just in a different way?

I do miss the buzz of a city but only for a day and I love coming back out to the countryside. I guess it helps if you love dogs, horses, walking, pottering etc which I do. I really love the peace and beauty of it, being able to run and walk to your hearts content.

Nearest city is about 25 mins away which is perfect as it has loads of amenities for teenage children and me every once in a while. I can't bear the drone of traffic, city noise really affects me so nodding off to owls hooting and hedgehogs rustling at night is bliss!

I used to stay for months at a time with cousins growing up. Nearest shop was 30 minutes drive, town two hours away. Absolutely nothing else except flat fields for about 4 hours drive in any direction. Two other kids in walking distance. No public transport at all.

Luckily there were 8 cousins so we all hung out together and I had fun, but until the eldest few got cars they struggled in their teens. The local high school (catchment about 60 miles radius) was the centre of all culture - amateur drama, community orchestra, sport, etc - given the sparse population it did pretty well. Everyone spent a lot of time on the phone and in cars.

But almost everyone goes to college and then hardly anyone moves back to the area, so it's getting even more depopulated, and soon it'll be a ghost town like my mother's home town.

Any rural living in the UK is densely populated and full of culture in comparison! And I've enjoyed it when I have lived rurally, but with children and health issues meaning I can't always drive, urban is the way for me.

Dark at 4pm or earlier is scotland. Easily avoided.

Rain cannot of course be totally avoided, but again a spot of geographical research will point you at the drier bits.

Today I want to wander around London and find one of those bits I've not noticed before - find something weird that''s happening on the South bank or popping into a museum we've not tried before - checking in Time Out and just asking the girls what catches their eye

As a pp said, the countryside changes throughout the year, so actually there's always something you haven't noticed before. There's always a bit too explore or a bit you haven't looked at in the same way. Near me there are plenty of prehistoric remains. I don't have to go to a museum when the evidence of ancient human activity is all around me. I ride, so that's a big chunk of time. I also cycle.

Then there are lots of local activities, fairs, book clubs and organisations that run days out. It's not the same as London but personally I prefer it. I'm London born and bred but didn't really take advantage of it, and in fact was generally riding and cycling. Now, it's 3 miles to my nearest shop but once I'm in there I can pretty much guarantee there will be someone in there I know. In a way it's much more sociable. It just depends if your idea of something to do includes an appreciation of the countryside.

I do go to museums, galleries, exhibitions, events, restaurants etc though

We managed those as well - even a few theater trips for children based stuffed we've done that in a rural town with good links to nearby cities and in two different cities with good links to other cities. Also manged the not driving bit but also access to countryside.

I don't think London is a bad place tor grow up and I know other have made very rural location work - it really is personals choice and making most of the location you do have.

In our case we couldn't afford to buy or rent in London on our income but ironically we couldn't live where I grew up for same reasons.

As much as we love our farm cottage, we are planning to move about 2 miles as our children have no one to play with as we do not have anyone around us & they are too young to travel by themselves.

"Doesn't going to restaurants, museums and galleries become a little tedious after a while though? I mean it becomes the same as our dog walks, stick throwing and blackberry collecting but just in a different way?"

Yes I suppose so. Especially when you want to go to the Natural History Museum at half term but the crowds are so ridiculous that you go to somewhere that appeals less on the grounds that it'll probably appeal to fewer other people too! It should be allowed to take dc out of school sometimes just to make the most of what is on our doorstep.

I do still love just to wander though - and the sheer number of people means there is always stuff happening - it's not just a case of physical places to go. I understand those events happen in the countryside too but they must be rarer - you haven't got a massive list of things to choose from every weekend.

It's probably dd1 who has London in her veins though. I'm not sure she'd forgive me if we moved - even at 5yo!

Love the question in OP

I wonder the same about people in cities (then I see sad hapless toddlers in the Tate modern and realise that is what they do)

In country kids can often just pla outside, or in the park, or at other people's houses.

Kids don't need that much entertainment, imo, they need a safe place to play.

Still, going out for walks is great too, finding sticks to play with

Climbing trees, building tree houses

Getting bored in between as well (good for them)

We moved from city to country when kids were 3 and 5, country life isso much easier!

We've been very country today. We got up had breakfast, got the stables ready for the horses in, brought horses in / walked dogs. Then picked loads of plums / apples from the fruit trees and have been making jams and cumble. Took dogs for a long walk. Now im watching a film. All with my 15mo tagging along. I think shes had a nice day.

I'm preggo at the moment but normally horses play a bigger part.. as i'm expecting they will with kids when they are a bit older.

If you live in the country you can still drive into town and do towny things.

Haha Baby - Now it's my turn to say "we do all that stuff too!" We actually have woods here. They have a cafe in them, so are not really proper woods, but they do have sticks in them, and trees to climb. I have to say I am not that mad about woods though - they're pleasant enough but you can't see out. I'd like a vista to my countryside.

Playing with sticks and picking blackberries is great fun until teenage years... Then as pp say, there's a lot of hanging around (especially for the hourly bus that is always late and costs you £5 each way), underage drinking, sex and drugs

Country living?

Wet, dark and cold winters.

More expensive than living in towns because of the amount of driving you have to get anywhere.

No culture, no decent night life, social isolation.

Mud.

The more beautiful the countryside = more tourists. You moved for peace and quiet but people have followed you. You dream of a bucolic, peaceful Sunday afternoon in your sculpted garden but all you hear is the ear splitting racket of Sunday bikers racing each other to the parking ticket machine on the coast and hikers who need to talk at 200 decibels as they anticipate a 6 miler to the pub.

Small communities = more gossip. Less friends.

Local services such as libraries, GP surgeries and primary schools shutting due to lack of funding.

Less jobs, if there are jobs, they are lower paid.

High Council Tax Rates even though you live in a hill 40 minutes drive from your nearest Starbucks and the only evidence of your tax dollars being sent is the binman arriving once a fortnight.

City dwellers get fed up with the crush and get all excited and inspired by the 'Escape to the Country' type programmes. They move from a busy metropolis to a cottage in the middle of nowhere. Husband starts to choke on a bit of steak and they realise how remote living can have its negative moments, the car needs to go back to the garage AGAIN because of the increased commuting to work, the cess pit is stinking for the third time this year and it's going to take three weeks for the boiler engineer to come and fix the central heating.

Apart from that it's great!!

I lived in London for a while but realised I was spending every weekend (and all my money) getting out to the countryside as often as possible and doing horse things I wasn't a very good Londoner! I do like visiting occasionally but I like getting home again too.

I grew up in a town, albeit a small one, and still find it hugely exciting that I can see deer, bats, owls and best of all hares from my bedroom window. I love that DS will grow up taking that for granted

Cities are nice to visit, but I wouldn't want to live in one any more!

OP it doesn't have to a clear either/or choice. We moved to a small city just outside the green belt. We have a fast train to London (20 mins), which makes DH's commute fairly painless, and from where we live its a 5-min drive out into the countryside. We can be in London one day doing something cultural, and eating lunch at a rural pub the next day. It really is possible to have the best of both worlds if you choose your location wisely.

"Wet, dark and cold winters."

But you get that in cities as well.

"But you get that in cities as well"

More to do in cities.

You can travel to the countryside too. London doesn't have the best countryside around but if after is a country pub and a river to paddle about on, dsis's village is 45 mins on the train.

The wet and the cold you get in cities - true dark need to be away from street lights, car headlights and houses with lights spilling into dark - I think you do need rural locations for that.

Walking down pitched black country lanes really isn't fun in my experience unless there a group of you in good party mood and no rain or ice for someone to slip on and twist ankles slowing you all down and hot drink at end.

I grew up in a small village 3 miles from the nearest small town. There was no bus even. Luckily there was a bunch of kids the same age and we had a lot of fun. We spent a lot of time just hanging out outside, or round one another's houses when the weather was bad. Lots of bike rides, bike races, water fights...there was a river and a ruined castle nearby, and we swam in the river. There were woods and streams for damming. But we did need lots of lifts for things like guides, youth club etc. When we were older again, we'd get lifts into the town so we could go to the pub underage and walk home in a big group.

I think back then kids made their own entertainment a lot better.

Sorry, that was just a reminisce about my childhood . I still live in a village but it's walking distance to a reasonable size town, which is still the arse end of nowhere. We're on the coast, so lots of walks, beaches and pubs.

But in truly dark places, you can see the stars...