to think that there is a lot of casual sexism against men these days?

[EmilySunshine]

maybe it is just me, maybe i am being a bit weird, but i have noticed in the past decade or so it has become very popular for women to make mildly sexist remarks about men eg. how useless they are etc. i see a lot of contempt IRL and also on TV etc from women towards their husbands, boyfriends etc. i wonder how much of it is my imagination or is this a real trend? it just seems that the way some women speak of or to their partners wouldn't be tolerated nearly so much if it were the other way round?

I did not use the term MRA in any of my posts, nor did I imply you were.

How easily you get angry when anyone challenges the rosy glow you are putting on things, really suggests that there is a lot of pain under the surface, however much you pink cloud.

Mumsnet is frequently subject to attacks/invasions by MRA, who often say very similar things to the things you were saying. By people who want to invade spaces were abuse survivors go for advice, or to get help to heal.

You didn't know that, but equally, people didn't know where you were coming from.

And it's fairly onbviois you have deeper things you are desperate to talk about, given how quickly they surfaced. Either you are unconsciously seeking a way to talk about them, without deliberately "bringing them up" so you are not "dwelling on them". You either seriously dissimulating or in denial.

Emily, I wish you well and hope that you find a peaceful path through your life.

It is upsetting to me to be accused of something I did not do. I would NEVER accuse a victim of abuse of lying. You are also attributing to me an inference I did not make.

thanks. my family told me i was making a fuss and to get over myself. and they told me i wouldn't have these issues if i just stopped feeling sorry for myself. after all, others had it worse. that is what they said. so i tried to do that

apologies RedBullBlood. must have been another poster.

it is the false accusations i cannot deal with. people expecting me to walk on eggshells around them because they believe their pain is worse. i'm not trying to put anyone down but it isn't very adult to expect others to carry your hang ups for you

With respect OP, I think you're projecting quite a bit here.

Moomin makes some excellent points about MN. Do try relationships and other topics to begin with. There's a lot of support available here if you look in the right places.

i'm sorry RedBullBlood. i wish i could put it right. i have no excuse. but i will say that a close friend of mine is a trauma counsellor. she believed me until she met my family. now she tells me it can't have happened as my parents are too nice to have let any abuse happen. so i am on the defensive always. but it is no excuse, no.

MoominKitten i'm sorry. i hadn't realised that. i was meant to post this in AIBU. somehow i think i must have posted in wrong place. i'm still getting used to here.

thanks DustyofSkye. bless you

You did post in AIBU, but I was just suggesting places that might be helpful to you.

The whole, get over yourself, don't make a fuss, pipe down thing could well be compounding your problems rather than helping I'm afraid. You need and deserve better support about your experiences than that. Relationships would be a good place to start. Sympathy, understanding, a place to safely express your anger and pain, people,who accept that you have a right to your feelings. You really can find that on MN, especially if you begin from what has happened to you and why it hurts.

I know that is totally alien to what your experience with family/therapy is, but it really does happen here and it really does help.

And MN does try very hard to be an "I believe you" place. You get the odd idiot/MRA/female apologist who pours scorn or disbelief on survivors stories. They usually get chased away with a much stronger form of the protectiveness you experienced earlier.

That therapist needs her licence revoking btw. Too nice to let any abuse happen. What a fucking load of crap.

my family told me i was making a fuss and to get over myself. and they told me i wouldn't have these issues if i just stopped feeling sorry for myself. after all, others had it worse. that is what they said. so i tried to do that

I get this too, or at least I did until I refused to talk with my stepmother and her son. And yes, my childhood affects me now. Gentle Mumsnetty hugs to you.

i will say that a close friend of mine is a trauma counsellor. she believed me until she met my family.

But she hasn't lived with them.
She's a crap trauma counsellor if she doesn't realise the worst abuse is behind closed doors and nasty people can present a very nice facade.

I think Emily is simply trying to say that whilst the oppression of women is not right, it is not solved by belittling men to try and achieve some balance. The ultimate aim is that we get over the stereotypes, treat each other as equal human beings with equal value. We can only change ourselves in this regard and lead by example.