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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think Grandparents should know better

100 replies

Reallyverycrossnow · 01/10/2016 21:18

I have nc because I am cross and may out myself.

My parents, bless them, took my 11 year old DD shopping in London today for a treat. She had some left over birthday money (£60) that she took with her.

They had lunch and visited many 'designer' clothing stores that are way out of our price range so not generally visited by me/us.

In one of these very expensive designer stores my parents decided it was a fabulous idea to allow DD to purchase a ladies jumper priced at £120 spending every last penny of her birthday money plus they gave her the shortfall.

She never wears jumpers, ever. It doesn't fit because she is a tiny age 11 and the garment is a ladies size 8, and it was £120 FFS! Angry

My parents also removed the tags so she could wear it home and they threw away the receipt with their tissues etc while at the train station.

I cant return it (its the other end of the country for a start) and DD is now saying because it doesn't fit that actually she doesn't like it and can I send it back. I cant return it without tags or a receipt.

AIBU to think grown adults really should know better than to allow an 11 year old to spend £120 on a jumper, that she doesn't wear anyway and that's not even in her size. My mother is currently lecturing me the merits of life lessons being learned and that DD will 'get over it'.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 01/10/2016 22:21

Oh dear. Well, when the GPs ask what she wants this xmas you'd better tell them book tokens.

bairnsangs · 01/10/2016 22:24

I'm with you OP - that was a daft waste of money and silly thing for GPs to allow. Don't see how it could have taught your DD much other than try things on in shops, keep receipts and tags (not something you need to learn by blowing your birthday money I don't think).

If I were you I'd have a word with my parents about how you want to teach DD about the value of money and clothes and that books are a VERY suitable thing for her to choose to buy herself!

Happy eBaying Brew

helpimitchy · 01/10/2016 22:30

"Books are boring"? Sad

I think I'd be more annoyed at them for this remark than about the jumper.

They would prefer her to play dress up than use her brain. That's a bad message.

AppleJac · 01/10/2016 22:30

I would of been annoyed too. Its irresponsible to not make a child try something on before purchasing especially if its so expensive.

Why the hell throws receipts away when they dont know how the item will fit?

There are many people who have no brains when they are in charge of other people children.

My 3 year old has come home with carpets burns on her tummy today after my sister has looked after her and was playing with dd and dragging her across the carpet as apparently they both thought it was fun at the time!

So i ve had to spend ages calming down dd tonight who has been screaming with a sore stomach.

DustyOfSkye · 01/10/2016 22:41

Why on earth didn't she try on the jumper in the shop? Confused

Sara107 · 01/10/2016 22:41

She learned a life lesson? What lesson was that? That her grandparents were prepared to let her throw away a huge amount of money on an ill conceived purchase in order to teach her a lesson? The grandparents should have had more sense. Whatever about the initial purchase nobody throws receipts for expensive clothes away, surely? In case you change your mind, or the thing unravels after you've worn it for 3 hours or something. I think they have been very unfair, she couldn't have thrown her own money away on this without them facilitating the purchase with extra cash. So they do have a responsibility there, and it is really mean to just shrug it off as a 'lesson'.

a7mints · 01/10/2016 22:42

Well I don't know what YOU have got to be cross about! They took the time trouble and expenses to give your DD a nice day out.Then when she set her little heart on something she couldn't afford they stumped up another £60.
Then all they get from you is moaning.You say your DD put it on to wear home, so she liked it then! I expect it was all your moaning about the price and the size that put her off.
Really Op you sound an utter ungrateful cow!

DustyOfSkye · 01/10/2016 22:44

I still don't get it. Who on EARTH spends £120 on an item of clothing without trying it on first?!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/10/2016 22:47

Then all they get from you is moaning.You say your DD put it on to wear home, so she liked it then! I expect it was all your moaning about the price and the size that put her off.

That is probably the truth.

Lorelei76 · 01/10/2016 22:48

YANBU
wow
And I thought my olds needed a telling off occasionally. Hopefully you can get a good price on eBay, what a nightmare. And what a pity they told her books are boring when that's what she wanted!

gettingitwrongputingitright · 01/10/2016 22:49

I would be livid with thr gps. Angry and telling dd books are boring. Angry

AmeliaJack · 01/10/2016 22:51

I can imagine my inlaws doing similar. It would be out of love and misguided desire to please though.

I would consider it a life lesson:

Never spend money you don't have.
Don't be so polite to adults that you end up buying something you don't like
Always try on in the shop
Never wear home in case of buyers remorse.
Books are always better than clothes.
Don't go shopping with your Grandparents.

PortiaCastis · 01/10/2016 22:51

I wish my Dad was still alive to spend time with dd.

gettingitwrongputingitright · 01/10/2016 22:53

I bet dd is gutted now sge realised she has a jumper that is way to big and has spent all her money.Sad

PatriciaHolm · 01/10/2016 22:56

Nothing to do with Grandparenting, as such.

Adults don't buy expensive clothing without trying it on, and keeping receipts. And they certainly don't let 11 year olds do it.

Massively immature and irresponsible behaviour.

AuroraBora · 01/10/2016 22:57

portia that's irrelevant. My dad is dead too, but that doesn't mean other people can't moan about their parents. By your logic should those with abusive parents be glad to have them purely because it's better than having deceased parents? Clearly not!

Anyway. OP I think YANBU and if posters bother to read your 2nd post they'll see your daughter didn't have her heart set on the jumper and they persuaded her into it.

PatriciaHolm · 01/10/2016 22:58

PS - adults who tell kids that books are boring don't get to spend long periods of time unsupervised with said kids quite frankly.

claraclutterbuck · 01/10/2016 22:58

From what outlet store? Ae you sure that it is genuine? There is a versace outlet in Bicester I think but not aware of one in London

claraclutterbuck · 01/10/2016 23:00

If she likes it then she will grow into it.

Versace isn't really a teen brand though.

Rubies12345 · 01/10/2016 23:01

There's a few jumpers in the young section that are £120 but nothing in the adults less than £400. I would check how much it really was before you put it on ebay

AmeliaJack · 01/10/2016 23:05

To those saying the DD wore it home so she must have liked it:

My DD tells my PILs she likes the clothes they buy her because otherwise they are obviously hurt.

I can easily imagine her being too polite to argue with them about whether she liked its

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/10/2016 23:06

I can easily imagine her being too polite to argue with them about whether she liked its

I can also imagine her saying she doesn't like it as the OP has been so angry about it.

Purplebluebird · 01/10/2016 23:07

Eesh, I'd be hugely annoyed by this. £120 is A LOT of money for some people.

claraclutterbuck · 01/10/2016 23:16

Overall I encourage my children to buy 1 better item rather than 10 cheap ones but I also encourage them to plan their spends.

My DM took my daughter out and got her 6 pairs of £5-£10 ballet flat type shoes from Primark because they were 'so cheap'. My DD is an odd fit with a very flat foot and heavy on shoes. Within a month they were all in the bin and 1 pair only lasted 1 wear. That was a real waste of money and resources. She could have got her 1 pair of the Hobbs flats that she wears for £50 and they last forever.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 01/10/2016 23:17

I love the way the grandparents are lecturing you about life lessons - they're the ones who sat back, no actually scratch that, they're the ones who kindly helped your DD along to make the mistake/life lesson.

And the having to spend the money because you have it and book comments Hmm