to have tealights burning in reach of my toddler?

[BayLeaves]

He is 2.5 and I have told him not to touch them. They are on the coffee table which is not in the middle of the room so they can't be knocked over by accident (although they could be knocked over on purpose).

He has come to look at them and I've told them it could burn him or set his clothes on fire, he seems to understand and is leaving them alone.

(The reason I want them on is because it helps make the room nice and warm. )

I'm sure this is really terrible and dangerous through hence the AIBU?!

I am a consultant burn surgeon who spends every day treating children who get burns from cups of tea, hair straighteners, candles, baths and lots of other every day things that people think are safe until they look away for just a moment. I also have lots of scars and have had about 30 operations after pulling a kettle of boiling water over myself as a toddler. Please just take the risk, I speak both professionally and personally. A moment of curiosity from your toddler could lead to a lifetime of surgery and scars.

YABVVVVU
All it takes is for his clothes to catch fire. Then you have a dead child or a badly scarred one after months of intensive care.
There is a fab thread in classics entitled 'no more cold mumsnetters' which has many good ideas for keeping warm

Reckless. Have you read about the burns Claudia Winkleman's daughter suffered at the age of 8 when a hem if her dress up costume caught a tea light? The risks are far more serious than the benefits.

If it helps just imagine telling to a paramedic what you're telling us.

I mean DON'T take the risk obviously. Doh!

Fair enough. I have put them out for now as I need to make lunch. I was fully supervising him when they were lit, if that makes any difference?

He won't really understand 'burn' until he has experienced it. It's just a word.
I actually do not believe you.

Ironically I recently opposed DH's suggestion of getting a lot burning stove, on safety grounds!

YANBU. At that age he is well able to understand "hot" He will also struggle to give himself a serious burn, or set the house on fire*

*I say this assuming you will be in the room.as well, and that you know not to leave naked flames unattended.

This reminds me of an acquaintance's story.

Her friend owned (sadly) a puppy who was blind - and a toddler. The toddler was repeatedly told not to put the blind puppy at the top of the stairs. You can guess what happened. The friend said that the lesson she learned is that when you tell a toddler "don't put the blind puppy at the top of the stairs" actually what they hear is "if you put the blind puppy at the top of the stairs something interesting will happen."

The same is true here. Tell a small child don't mess with the tea lights and they will hear "mess with the tea lights and something interesting will happen". And they wouldn't be wrong.

I'd stop this now before you are on first name terms with the local firebrigade.

Warmth from a tea light is absolutely minimal. Lots of other options - hot water bottle, microwave heater pouchers, floor heaters, blankets, jumpers, improve the insulation in the room, thicker curtains.

Fire dept told me main causes of fire are tea lights, I have gone battery powered. cant believe this is for real

Were you watching him with tea lights while posting on mn? good job op.

YABU for using tea lights for warmth. Unless you've got eleventy million burning, they won't warm up a room. If they set fire to the house... Well yeah, that's hot

I'm trying to understand how you get warmth from a tea light unless you have hundreds stacked round the room or are standing next to one with your hands cupped round the flame.

And what price 'warmth' in comparison to the safety of your child? How can anyone be so stupid.

This has to be a piss take..are you for real? Why don't you leave out some knives and washing capsules etc. .of course he won't touch
I'm really hoping you are trying to get a reaction from us..and not serious. .In which case..YAWN

Good god, do you really need to ask ?
If serious then you're not fit to be a mother imo, highly irresponsible.
Having nursed children with horrific burn injuries I hope to goodness your poor DC never ends up the same way.

I come from a candle-obsessed culture: we have candles wherever we can squeeze them in, my family even has real candles on the Christmas tree despite children being involved in every celebration.

But we manage this, without burning the whole country, because we never trust to the sense or obedience of small children. Candles on a table are put out of reach, when the Christmas tree is lit every parent cuddles their child, no child would ever be left unsupervised in a room with lit candles, if you have to leave and don't want to blow out all the candles you take the child with you (even to the loo). If you can't manage this level of discipline, it is not safe.

Oh, and you do need a fire extinguisher. A candle knocked against a curtain or a tablecloth can send everything up in flames very quickly. It is a risk we take (with appropriate safety measures) because candles are so important to our culture.

Are you my neighbour? A whole ridiculous story that I don't want to out myself by sharing.

Yabu

Why not leave a nice hot cup of tea within reach too?

The amount of heat from a tea light is almost zilch - this can't be real

NO op remove them please

You're being ridiculous. But you know that surely?

My husband is a firefighter, he won't have tealights in the house. He's seen too many people killed by just one tealight. He went out to a house where a woman was killed by a single tealight that was on the side of her acrylic bath. He saw a house burned down when a tealight on a hearth accidentally caught on a woman's skirt. She survived with horrendous burns.

No-one who has these accidents thinks they're going to happen to them. My toddlers get up to all sorts - I let them climb ladders and trees, use a hammer and nails and roll around in the mud but there's no fucking way they'd be going near naked flames.

Light a candle if you want, and there are many reasons, however 'warmth' isn't one of them.
An extra jumper will give you much more earth than one poxy candle.

All that said my mother used to put me to bed with a tea light burning in a holder on my bedside table. They were called night lights back in the 70s. She did it for the light, not the warmth.

1/10 OP. Nobody is that stupid.

Why don't you sit him in front of the knife block while you make lunch too? Just tell him not to touch the blades or he'll cut himself.