Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have tealights burning in reach of my toddler?

131 replies

BayLeaves · 01/10/2016 11:53

He is 2.5 and I have told him not to touch them. They are on the coffee table which is not in the middle of the room so they can't be knocked over by accident (although they could be knocked over on purpose).

He has come to look at them and I've told them it could burn him or set his clothes on fire, he seems to understand and is leaving them alone.

(The reason I want them on is because it helps make the room nice and warm. )

I'm sure this is really terrible and dangerous through hence the AIBU?!

OP posts:
Excited101 · 01/10/2016 12:17

I cannot believe that real people can actually be this stupid.

MrsHam13 · 01/10/2016 12:19

Surely there's some where you can put them up out of his reach.

UnGoogleable · 01/10/2016 12:20

So you've told him not to touch them or he will get burnt (which he wouldn't understand what 'burt' means until he's experienced it) but assuming he heeds your advice and doesn't 'touch' them...

What if he knocks one over?
What if he drops a piece of paper on one?
What if he leans over it and his clothing dangles into the flame?
What if he bumps into the coffee table and they bounce off?

And a million other possible scenarios which could lead to him being burnt, or worse, starting a fire.

All of which can be prevented by just not having them.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 01/10/2016 12:21

When I was younger and dafter I lit the candles on my toddlers birthday cake and said 'Now blow them out, look don't touch......"

Poor mite spent the rest of his birthday with burnt fingers. Don't be as stupid as I was.

Sancia · 01/10/2016 12:22

Give over, what sort of thicko would think a tealight warms the room?

debbs77 · 01/10/2016 12:22

Try scentsy.

Www.home-scents.co.uk

TeacherBob · 01/10/2016 12:23

Tealights are fine. We have ours on a glass table. She knows not to touch them

That said, when in reception I always build fires with the 4 year olds.

In Australia they don't teach children to avoid swimming, they teach them the safe way to swim

VoldysGoneMouldy · 01/10/2016 12:24

This can't be real. No body is actually this bloody stupid, surely? You read about some really idiotic parenting, but this really takes the biscuit.

HappyAxolotl · 01/10/2016 12:24

Why would you even take such a silly and unnecessary risk? A split second of distraction and you risk a burnt down house and a dead or horrifically injured child. Put the tealights out of toddler reach or get those fake ones.

Gabilan · 01/10/2016 12:24

This must be a reverse

Pretty good typing for a toddler.

DesolateWaist · 01/10/2016 12:25

I meant to say that a candle being out of reach of a toddler should go without saying.

Carrieswar · 01/10/2016 12:25

Just use the LED battery tea lights. They look the same you can usually buy a pack for 99p.

Aeroflotgirl · 01/10/2016 12:27

Use battery tealights, do you want him to burn Hmm

Kidnapped · 01/10/2016 12:28

OP has got the message. She has put them out.

And I read her 'warm' comment as making the room look cosy rather than giving off heat.

OP has done the right thing by asking on here. Just hope she doesn't regret asking now.

I'd hate for people to stop posting questions like this on MN in fear of getting a pasting. We'll get many more tealight armageddon scenarios in real life if people feel that they can't even ask a question without being ridiculed.

LunaLoveg00d · 01/10/2016 12:28

Tealights to heat the house?

Crazy in itself, but to have them in reach of a toddler is even worse.

UnGoogleable · 01/10/2016 12:33

OP has got the message. She has put them out

That's not how I read it

I have put them out for now as I need to make lunch. I was fully supervising him when they were lit, if that makes any difference?

I took that to mean that she intends to carry on using them when she's in the room.

But I agree with your sentiment kidnapped that jumping on a poster and calling her stupid isn't nice and if she's asked the question then people should answer her sensibly.

HardcoreLadyType · 01/10/2016 12:33

In Australia they don't teach children to avoid swimming, they teach them the safe way to swim

Actually, while most children in Australia do learn to swim reasonably competently, all swimming pools, including private ones, are required to be fenced, with a child proof gate.

Drownings in pools have reduced hugely, as a result.

Willow2016 · 01/10/2016 12:43

LOL at telling him not to touch as it will burn him.

My aunt told my cousin not to touch the hob part of the cooker years ago as it was still hot from cooking dinner. What did he do when she turned her back? Yep, touched it and burned his hand. Why? Because she told him not to do it and he wanted to know what would 'actually' happen if he did. And he was 6!

2.5y not a hope of understanding 'burn' and 'set your clothes on fire'.

Original poster
BayLeaves · 01/10/2016 12:49

Yes, that was my thinking, TeacherBob... I feel that if you introduce risks in a very careful way this is not a problem as children will learn to be careful too. My toddler is surprisingly risk aware for his age. We go to a forest school toddler group and the leader cooked over an open campfire last time. It was all 2-4 year olds in the group and not one of them went near the fire after being told not to. It's surprising how responsible they can be. But yes, I see what you mean accidents can and do happen.

The reason I didn't have them out of reach is that having them on a high windowsill seemed riskier as there are wooden blinds above which could ignite. My assessment of risk was that having two tealights on a low coffee table in one corner would be less dangerous as long as I'm carefully supervising.

I do get take some of the more well-informed/polite comments on board though. Have put them out for now.

(Yes to clarify I meant it makes it warmer in the 'cosy' sense but I do also believe that the heat emitted by even just two tealights does physically warn up the room slightly... That is something I learnt during my broke student days and it isn't completely crazy.)

OP posts:
AdaLovelacesCat · 01/10/2016 12:51

tealights do NOT make the room warm!
Even the old tealight in two flowerpots trick only raises the room temperature by about a degree.
Just put them out and turn on the central heating, or a heater.

KitKat1985 · 01/10/2016 12:54

TeacherBob you may have a point if the child in question was say 7 or 8 years old, but a 2 year old cannot be expected to have enough understanding of fire safety for the risks to be managed in a controlled way. A 2 year old has no real concept of danger.

TeacherBob · 01/10/2016 12:57

Hardcorelady

yes they are fenced

which is the same as supervising a child with candles in the room, as OP said :p

Maybe all the people posting insults just don't supervise their children properly

TeacherBob · 01/10/2016 12:59

kitkat you are wrong

a candle is fine if supervised

Original poster
BayLeaves · 01/10/2016 13:01

I disagree KitKat , DS does have some understanding of risk. He knows he has to hold my hand or be when crossing the road and if he thinks there is danger he will ask to be carried. For example when he's been walking on a pedestrianised road and he thinks a car might come, he gets worried and wants to be held. He also knows that he shouldn't come close to the oven or hob when I'm cooking and says "might burn me!". He knows what burn means because he has felt hot radiators and tasted hot (but not dangerously hot) food. He gets scared to climb up a really tall slide as he knows he could fall. So I totally disagree I think some toddlers his age do have some risk awareness.

Not saying the tealights are perfectly safe but I do disagree about toddlers having no concept of danger.

OP posts:
Squirmy65ghyg · 01/10/2016 13:02

He's not risk aware. Argh.

Reminds me of an acquaintance who never holds her DCs hand in car parks etc as doesnt want to "limit" him.