To be cringing for my friend who is size 16 at least, saying she is a 10-12?

[footinmouthohdear]

I feel embarrassed for her and also a little worried. She is normally quite difficult to deal with anyway, as very sensitive, but lately her Facebook posts seem to be getting more and more bizarre and away from reality. I'm wondering if there's anything I should do? All I can do is ask if she is ok? She is a kind soul, just very self obsessed, which means even asking if things are ok is likely to turn into a very long and complicated conversation about her current situation where I'm not allowed to say anything remotely that she doesn't agree with.

It's so weird though she is arguing that although she is overweight she is only a size 10-12, just curvy. She actually looks quite overweight. You would never think she's a 12. It sounds ludicrous.

I don't know if I'm explaining right but I feel uneasy, like something isn't quite right for her at the moment. There are other examples too but obviously can't share more or it would be identifying. She's not remotely obnoxious like Samantha Brick, but it just sounds so daft to hear her say a few of these things and I worry if she will look back and feel like an idiot.

I could be reading too much into it, do you think AIBU?

Yes, I think yabu.

I think, ultimately, that it's none of your fucking business what her dress size is (or what she says her dress size is), and that if you want her to confide in you about anything, accusing her of lying about her dress size isn't going to help your cause.

Your example sound petty but I guess there more to it? Do you think she's deluded or lying?

What sort if posts?

Is she very short or very tall?

My friend and I both wear a 14. One of us is short and squidgy, the other is slim and tall. I wish I was the latter!

If she is very short then she can probably carry more weight per clothes size.

And when I say squodgy i mean about 4stone overweight!

Well, it is her business certainly, but posting things on Facebook make it a conversation and then getting upset when people disagree.

I have not said anything to her on this one, of course not. I don't want to hurt her feelings! Something feels wrong though.

No I don't think she's lying, it's not that it feels like more of a cry for help. I really don't want to be too specific but a lot of very intimate information. Which is fine if it seems like somebody is saying those things with a cool head, but she seems quite upset a lot of the time.

I suppose fragile is one word that comes to mind. I also think if it was me and I was saying things recklessly because of a bad state of mind, I'd regret it.

She is short.

Maybe she wears very stretchy clothes. I can squeeze into clothes several sizes smaller than my usual comfortable size if they are stretchy/floaty enough.

Do you mean her strange Facebook posts are a cry for help? Or her lying about her dress size is?

Is she posting what size she is?
I'd just ignore it, unless you can actually have a face to face with her to ask how she is feeling.

She may just be in denial, just leave her. I have seen many women who technically are bigger sizes but buy smaller sizes because of Lycra. If it helps their self esteem I do not see a problem. You seem to not be able due to privacy for your friend to go into detail which leaves it hard for replies. I would be more angry at people questioning her on facebook, I would never do that.

She could very easily be telling the truth... depending on what brand of clothes she is wearing... I am a 12 in NEXT clothes.... but really more like a 14 - and a 16 in some shops. who knows nowadays - the sizes are so different in every shop you go to. I posted a pic of me the other day that I know looks smaller than i actually am. it's all an illusion!!

Maybe she shops at Sainsburys. I'm about a stone overweight and sometimes the size 12s are too big for me there.

oh and my friend wears size 16 as she likes loose fitting clothes (thinks it makes her look slimmer) but I would say she's only a 12. Once had a boyfriend who wore XS clothes when he should have been in a L. Didn't last long.

I have a friend who points out women who are slimmer than her and says they are overweight or have a bigger bum than her. I just change the subject or say something bland about how everyone carries their weight differently.

I'm obese, and I have plenty of old clothes in either size 10 or 12 that I can stretch over my flab.

I don't go on about it on Facefuck tho. That is weird.

goes immediately to Sainsburys rookiemere

I mean all of the odd stuff she is posting on facebook really? I find it alarming. It actually reminds me of when my friend was starting an episode of mania from her bipolar, something felt not right but it was very hard to describe exactly what was wrong. I don't think this friend is manic by the way, I just mean that's the closest experience I've had where something was off kilter but I had no clue what it was.

I'm a fairly anxious person by nature, I could be way off track.

Sorry that was confusing, it is a different friend who has bipolar.

I'm very, very short and have tiny bones, so although I'm very overweight at the moment, I'm only a size 12. Height and build make a huge difference.

So those saying YABU and none of OP's fucking business overweight by any chance?!
I wouldn't say anything OP. Just let her get on with it. She might be having a bad time of things at the moment or something. Or she may actually be deluded and think she's a 10-12!

I don't get what you're fussed about. People flatter themselves all the time. I like to think I look young for my age. No one's perfect. If we were only loved for our virtues it would be a lonely world. If you want me to think YANBU you're going to have to give a much more worrying example.

Nice, measured response there Borp

This sounds like somebody I know.

She was in total denial about her actual size, she would swear blind that she was a size 10-12 when it was clear to see that she was a minimum of size 16. She would argue with anyone who dared to question her insisting she was barely even a 12 but would come out with comments like "Nobody can believe that I weigh 13st 8" and "Everyone says I look a lot lighter"
She was pretty weight obsessed and would always bring it up in conversation, often asking after a few pounds loss "do you think I'm skinny, everyone says I look dead skinny"
I learned to ignore it.

I have long since realised that she is most probably a narcissist so this is just a small part of it, but it is just another added to a very long list ways of seeking attention and is trying to boost her ego just that little bit more. She needs others to validate her.
She's not easy to deal with though it does make you go wtf!

I'm not saying your friend is a narc, but am wondering if she is insecure?