To be cringing for my friend who is size 16 at least, saying she is a 10-12?

[footinmouthohdear]

I feel embarrassed for her and also a little worried. She is normally quite difficult to deal with anyway, as very sensitive, but lately her Facebook posts seem to be getting more and more bizarre and away from reality. I'm wondering if there's anything I should do? All I can do is ask if she is ok? She is a kind soul, just very self obsessed, which means even asking if things are ok is likely to turn into a very long and complicated conversation about her current situation where I'm not allowed to say anything remotely that she doesn't agree with.

It's so weird though she is arguing that although she is overweight she is only a size 10-12, just curvy. She actually looks quite overweight. You would never think she's a 12. It sounds ludicrous.

I don't know if I'm explaining right but I feel uneasy, like something isn't quite right for her at the moment. There are other examples too but obviously can't share more or it would be identifying. She's not remotely obnoxious like Samantha Brick, but it just sounds so daft to hear her say a few of these things and I worry if she will look back and feel like an idiot.

I could be reading too much into it, do you think AIBU?

I'm sure I'm not alone in having bought stuff because the label is reassuring....I bought loads from New look after I had my baby....size 12 is very palatable when you're a topshop 16! Maybe she's doing the same.it's harmless nonsense really, going by the dress size example.

I'm only 5"1, I have a bmi over 30 but still easily wear size 10/12 tops. However I'm bigger on the bottom and I wear size 14/16 jeans, it depends on body shape too.

I had a friend who did this all the time. She kept going on about how she is a size 10 and put me down constantly for being a size 14. She was also a compulsive liar though so other issues there.

OP are you talking about my sister? yes this is the kind of thing she does and yes it drives me mad

I have a friend like this, size 12-14 and insists shes an 8-10. Fine, i just smile and let it go over my head. Except she tries to palm her clothes off to me, im a 6-8.

Does the same with bras, "this doesnt fit me anymore, here you have it". I am not a b cup as much as she isnt a 28/30 back.

Delusional in a lot of ways but i think its actually her response to not being happy with the weight shes put on.

I would say it's none of your business!
I think lots of people say they are a smallet dress size, the world has not stopped because of this.
If she's putting posts on FB that are a little "attention seeking" I would unfollow!
Can't be doing with that crap

She sounds deluded. Leave her to it

It's not particularly the dress size that's worrying you though it seems. That's just an example. Giving away a lot of intimate information on Facebook is a concern.

It seems like there are other things going on which are odd with her. Your response will need to depend on how close you are with her and how much time you have to help her.

Is there a mutual friend who you could ask? They may have picked up something?

Can understand your concern OP, she sounds delusional however, if you say anything, you'll look like you're being spiteful, which you're clearly not.

YANBU, OP, but what can you say.

30 years ago I was 5' 6" and 10 stone, and had to buy size 16 as one of the few fat girls among my peers. 16 was the biggest size available in ordinary shops' clothing ranges and women "watched their weight" (hence WW) largely to stay within stock sizes of fashionable clothes.

I'm now half an inch smaller, the same weight and designated a "skinny bitch" (phrase applied with envy) who wears a 12 and occasionally even 10.

But I haven't changed.

Sizes are completely meaningless with vanity sizing, Lycra and nonsensical US sizing comparisons. Celebs claim to be 14/16 when they are visibly 20/22 in the old money.

It must lead to more delusional assessment of own size if the notional target is now a zero while the street tells a different story.

I am a size 10-12 too.

Underneath the layer of fat on the outside

OP if you are worried about her then as you say, a coffee and chat may reassure you. FWIW I think we need to move away from dress sizes which have become pretty meaningless. My 13 year old DD recently took some convincing to move from squeezing into a 10, to trying a 12. She was insisting she could not be a 12, that a 12 was overweight etc etc. She is 6'2" tall !! Trying to explain that dress sizes are relative to height was not going in as she has been so brainwashed by social media. I HATE IT.

YABU! I have a small frame and wear size 10 jeans and size 12 or 14 tops because of my 34gg boobs. I look much bigger than I actually am because I prefer to wear loose fitting clothes ( to avoid unwanted comments about my chest size)

I see myself in certain photos on facebook and think I look like a size 18. ( this is one of the things that convinced me to take the plunge and book a breast reduction - can't wait!)

You have no idea what size clothes your friend wears!

Some folks are just deluded - leave them to it if it's not harming you. It's a bit sad if everyone else can clearly see that they're not what they claim to be, but their choice. My sister, who is 62, started online dating last year, and put her age as 37 (and she really does look her age) .... oh to be a fly on the wall on those first dates!

Oh FFS.

Why are some women so obsessed with clothes sizes, and particularly other women's clothes size? It's so fucking depressing.

I think it's often a case of denial.

I know someone who squeezes herself into size 14 leggings and stretch tops, but wouldn't have a hope of wearing anything fitted in that size, even from a generously proportioned shop. She was therefore adamant she was a size 14, even though she was only marginally slimmer than me at a definite honest size 18-20.

I once went shopping in TK Maxx and walked out with a jacket in a size 16, jeans in a 12 and a sweater in a 14. Sizes can be totally random. (especially if you have long arms and broad shoulders so have to go up two sizes on top unless you want 3/4 sleeves)

Maybe she is this size. It really doesn't matter that much. Smile sweetly and change the subject with a bland statement.

I have a friend like this. She sends us photos all the time with comments like "why is it a crime for a woman to think she looks good? Here I am looking bloody gorgeous for my night out". And then posts the same on Facebook, Instagram and twitter.

And frequent pics saying "here I am, size 6!". Which is fine except she is about a 12.

It's annoying so I've hidden here from social media but receiving constant messages by IM is very very annoying. I don't give a toss what size she is but don't lie about it and send hundreds of pics saying how amazing you look.

OP, your friend isn't Vanessa Feltz by any chance?

It would ring my alarm bells too, OP. I don't think confronting her about true size is any solution. You have to wait to see if her delusional tendency gets better or if it gets worse and about something that actually matters.