That really. My current boss sends brutal emails (my subjectivity - no 'thanks' or 'please' I mean I know we are here to do business but hey) keeps telling me I'm 'too soft' because I want us to get freelance contractors in to help support staff (FYI - she gets a bonus for keeping costs down I don't) who takes all the decent business trips for herself and books off all the bank holidays and doesnt' ask any of the rest of us if we might want them off (I can't take the same time holiday ). I keep being told to toughen up yet I'm a decade older and to some extent more respected and more experienced than my boss. I took my job when my DH got sick - so I need to work. In all my other roles I have a record of improving productivity and when I've tried to be tough it never works because I just don't beleive in it. I also feel my female boss is trying to ape the behaviour of our senior (male) manager. Not someone I regard as a role model - regardlenss of whether he is male or female.