To be annoyed that our Teaching assistant might not be included

[MaLopez]

My son is in Year 3 and is autistic with a Teaching assistant. When we do class collections, we collect and split between all the staff, teacher and 2 teaching assistants.

Due to collect for Christmas (I know, we are early) and I hear some parents are not happy that they are donating for my son's teaching assistant. The teaching assistant, even though he is our one to one, works with other children in the class as well.

Am I being unreasonable to be a tad annoyed. I think it might be sadness that I am hiding under the anger that once again, we are on the sidelines. Just wanted your opinion xx

And to all those saying how petty / hoe mean.

I literally didn't have an extra fiver most weeks. To me, at that point, it might as well have been £500. I was so skint.

My daughter was helped a lot by a TA who was there as a one to one for another child. I always got this TA Christmas and end of year presents. However the TA in my son's class doesn't need to help my son, he says she literally has never spoken to him, so I don't plan on buying her anything to be honest.

where would it end, office staff? School crossing patrol? Caretaker? They all help my children indirectly.

I personally think you are taking this too personally!

Sand snakes. Thanks. Tight bastard am I?

The level of complete ignorance of how some other people have to live on here astounds me.

I hated being on benefits. I hated living in a hostel. Having no money for a Coffee or a mcds with the kids. I most certainly was not a tight bastard.

I also get gifts for the SENCO, Head teacher and most staff members we come into contact with.

nocampinghere, they are not happy that it is being shared 3 ways.

I think it is really tight too. I'm under no illusions that my dd's 1 to 1 supports others in the class too so can't imagine why it's acceptable to exclude one person.

This is why it's much easier to let everyone sort their own gifts! Or at least have separate collections for each staff member with no set amount of donation expected!

Sorry auser I should have qualified my comments by saying that I think those who can afford to but don't contribute as the TA isn't directly caring for their child are the tight bastards - not those who genuinely can't afford it.

Really tight?

Every so often something comes up that makes me remember how utterly shit it was back then. And this, right now, the lack of empathy. Or any kind of other people might not be able to or want to and miscalling is just. Awful.

It is tight when people aren't being asked to contribute a penny more they are just unwilling for the amount to be shared three ways rather than two.

Of course the TA should be included! BYW our school collects for the caretakers, gardeners and cleaners as well, which is fine by us, it is called being kind and showing our appreciation.

school class collections like this with a set amount of money should be banned.

I think people should be allowed to put in whatever they choose or choose not to contribute tbh but I don't think excluding a member of the class's staff should be acceptable.

Looking at it another way, would these parents buy a Xmas present for your TA? No they probably wouldn't, they would probably buy a present for the teacher, the teaching assistant but they would be unlikely to extend it to the 1-1 support or the dinner ladies etc or the office staff etc. So perhaps they feel the same about the class contribution. I don't think they are being unreasonable to be honest. Nobody should be forced to contribute and if they see this person as being predominantly involved with your child they may consider that you are best off buying your own gift that they are not involved in. (I know you do that in addition). Others will be happy to contribute to all involved with the class. At our school though this would be a tonne of people!

I agree that class collections should be whatever the person can afford to put in, and should be entirely a matter of choice. £5 isn't a lot to very many MNers, but it's a huge amount to a lot of people.

I was a 1-1 TA for a few years, i don't know if there was a class collection, I certainly was never part of one. I would get a few gifts from random children, and one EOY present from the parents of "my child". It's nice to be acknowledged even if it's not part of a collection.

If you are not happy with how the collection is being run simply do your own thing! Use the £5 you would have donated to buy a box of chocolates for the teacher and TAs to share and don't worry about it any further. It's highly unlikely that they will notice which parents have contributed and which haven't - but more likely that they will notice your box of chocolates

The whole gift giving thing has got totally out of hand IMO. Its now expected at Xmas and end of year, it never used to be like that.

school class collections like this with a set amount of money should be banned. Totally agree. Most teachers I know are quite happy with a card and a thank you. Class collections often go wrong. We hear terrible things each Christmas and Summer on here about how children are not allowed to sign the card because parents haven't contributed. Even today people have been called tight because they do not want to give to someone they or their child do not have any dealings with. They probably do not even know the TA's name, and certainly should not know why and for whom she is employed. As for giving to the class collection and your own presents for the class staff and all the school staff, well words fail me. The staff do not expect this.

I have aways bought loads of presents for my dc's school staff. All the TA's, office staff, teachers, school crossing man. Why wouldn't you get a little gift? They all work bloody hard on crap pay.

Oh I forgot to mention the parents who get angry because the teacher did not send a thank you letter. Think that cropped up on here at the end of Summer Term. Wonder if they ever did get a thank you card.

Because you can't bloody afford it. Because they have nothing to do with your child they're a one to one for another child.

And to be honest. I'd have said I'm sorry, she / he doesn't take to do with my child as a fucking excuse. Rather than I am so skint that£2 is our dinner tomorrow.

Bigbuttons: because as people have already pointed out, they can't afford it! It's bloody obvious, isn't it?!

This school collection /school presents thing has gone insane.

Sackmagique is right - this school collection /school presents thing has gone insane. Why would you buy for everyone - especially if they do not teach your child.

Weird. If it's a class present then surely all the class team are involved. If anyone has a 'right' to complain then its the 2 staff members who would get less. And probably they don't give stuff because they value the contribution of 'your' TA.

At DD's school there is a collection for support staff including the gardener, road crossing supervisor etc. They contribute so much to the school, but get paid peanuts. A Christmas gift is a small way of acknowledging that.