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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To not of moved

226 replies

Pretenditsaplan · 29/09/2016 18:17

I get half an hour for lunch. During that time I like to sit on a bench near to my work and read. During that time I'll smoke 2 cigarettes one when I first get there and one just before I go back in. Today I'm just lit my second cigarette and just getting to a good bit in my book.

A lady with a screaming kid in a pushchair sits on the bench next to me. Not on one of the equally pleasant but slightly further away from the fag smoke benches but on a bench so close if there hadn't of been arm rest between us we'd of be touching. I thought it was a little weird but she was probably just harassed dealing with little ones temper tantrum.

She calms the girl down and starts feeding her some lunch. I get on with my book. She does that little cough thingy to get my attention. I glance up and she's pulling her face like shes stepped in dog shit but says nothing so I ignore her. She steps up the fake coughing and when I don't look up this time leans over and says pointedly "that's going in my face"

I'm a little non plussed because there's 8 benches around a small town square and I'm the only one smoking. Behind is a flower bed thing were another lady is perched also smoking. There's 3 other sides all smoke free. I mumbled an apology and tried to hurry my fag.

At this point she's raises her voice and says "I think it's disgusting your smoking next to a child that's eating." By now I'm getting annoyed. She chose to sit there and if she hadn't noticed me to begin with she could of easily moved before starting to pass her child wotsits. I point out very calmly I was smoking when she sat down. She tells me I should of moved as soon as she did and she shouldn't have to put up with it.

At this point I'm almost finished and about to go back to work when she goes on a tirade that I shouldn't be smoking anyway that I was too young and it was illegal in public places. I finish my fag and tell her not only am I 30 and can smoke if I damn well please it's illegal to smoke in enclosed public places but outside it's perfectly legal. (At which point I hear a laugh from the woman behind me.) Angry lady gathers her things and storms off and sits on the benches opposite glaring at me. By this time my breaks finishing and and saunter past her with a big smile and a wave.

What annoyed me was the assumption even though I'd been sitting there well before she got there I should move as she's so much more important. But I've been having a bad day so maybe I should of bowed down to her mightiness and and just moved. Wibu to not just move as soon as she sat down?

OP posts:
ArmySal · 30/09/2016 00:02

You should stay away from up North, then, they use their forehead rather than their nails when they lose their temper.

Probably not over the way you pronounce words though, they're not shallow.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/09/2016 00:05

I'm married to a northerner. 😂

WorraLiberty · 30/09/2016 00:06

Pronounce, absolutely. How do they manage to write it down completely wrongly?

Who gives a shit?

Mumsnet is supposed to be a support forum by parents, for parents.

There will be tons of different types of people here - some who have had a better/worse education than others, some who have English as a 2nd language or who have dyslexia or simply type as they speak.

What you can guarantee they haven't come here for is to be spoken down to by people who have absolutely no social skills whatsoever and therefore think they automatically need 'educating' by some random internet stranger.

If I came here as a newbie with a problem and people saw fit to pick me up on my grammar/spelling, I'd go away thinking they were a bunch of thick twats who had totally missed the point of my posting in the first place.

Grammar pedants have their own MN topic in which to raise their woefully inadequate self-esteem.

Meanwhile, other people just want to get on with answering the OP's problem/question.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 30/09/2016 00:06

Well said worra

ArmySal · 30/09/2016 00:10

Superbly put, Worra.

ItShouldOfBeenJess · 30/09/2016 00:11

Well personally, I'd have told the judgemental twat to sod off and stay away from me with the Wotsits because they fucking stink.

That's just me.

WorraLiberty · 30/09/2016 00:12

Honestly, I think some people are so highly strung on the internet that they should probably go and have a wank or a slice of cake.

Whatever it takes them to loosen up and chill the fuck out Grin Wine Cake

Why haven't we got a wanking smiley? Confused

ItShouldOfBeenJess · 30/09/2016 00:15

worra. This 🍆 or this👌 might work in the interim.

GingerbreadLatteToGo · 30/09/2016 00:17

I'd never write 'should of..'.

But I think I type it on here quite a lot. I also type are/our and various other things. If I could be arsed I'd look it up, it has a name.

usual · 30/09/2016 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArmySal · 30/09/2016 00:18

A wanking smiley would be great Grin

GingerbreadLatteToGo · 30/09/2016 00:18

Well done Jess 💐

WorraLiberty · 30/09/2016 00:19

Oh lordy Jess I'm going to have to report my previous posts and go into hiding, when the baying mob of pedants wake up in the morning Shock Grin

ItShouldOfBeenJess · 30/09/2016 00:22

Usual. What's It's. Nope. No matter how hard you try, those bastard puffs of halitosis refuse to be restrained by grammatical correctness.

ItShouldOfBeenJess · 30/09/2016 00:23

Me too. But am keeping my new username.

CrazyNameCrazyGuy · 30/09/2016 00:27

Love it when I can't be arsed to RTFT and find page 7 is still arguing over grammar/spelling in the OP.

I have found my tribe Smile

Oh yes the smoking' thing' - she needs to bugger off with her child and her attitude.

Smokers are the new lepers.

Fuck off.

usual · 30/09/2016 00:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItShouldOfBeenJess · 30/09/2016 00:30

crazy. Do you remember when they had smoking carriages on trains?

Sighs nostalgically (while being aware that's not a 'proper' sentence)

WorraLiberty · 30/09/2016 00:35

But on a slightly more serious note...

I live in one of London's poorest and most deprived boroughs. It's not a bad place to live at all really, otherwise I would have sold up and moved years ago.

But there are many parents here who have been brought up within dysfunctional families, where DV is completely 'normal'. Many of them have gone into similar relationships to their parents, because that's all they know. As a result, this borough (along with tons of others in the UK) has a very high rate of domestic violence, poor education, unemployment, obesity, gang related crimes, drug/alcohol problems, racism, sexual inequality...etc etc...

It takes an awful lot for some of those people to sign up to Mumsnet and ask for advice in order to help break the cycle, or indeed to even spot that there is a cycle that needs breaking.

If anyone here thinks the first thing on those people's minds is "Oh thank god, someone on the internet has pointed out that I should have typed could have instead of could of, then imo they're not really that different to every other dysfunctional person they've come across in their past.

Just have word with yourselves and think beyond your own pedantic bubble for a serious second.

Pretenditsaplan · 30/09/2016 00:37

Really. 7 pages in over one grammatical error? I thank you for keeping me relavent. The first error was the lady talking so shouldn't be penalised over that it was exactly as she said it. One grammar error has turned a valid question into stupid time for me apparently.

OP posts:
Rdoo · 30/09/2016 00:43

Don't worry about it op. Think of it this way, you made some pathetic people feel good about themselves for a few minutes.

YANBU by the way.

ItShouldOfBeenJess · 30/09/2016 00:46

worral. Brilliantly said. Nothing else to add.

Pretenditsaplan · 30/09/2016 00:47

Worra thank you I come from the worst place to live the UK 'x' amount years going. Compared to most people I know I've pretty hot on grammar. So yes I get lax on it when all around me gives less then one shit about spelling. Grammar doesn't come into it. I'm happy to be corrected but I genuinely think this post has been overtaken by people obsessed. I admit I lay heavily on my autocorrect but I also admit it's American. The jist of my post doesn't change just because I couldn't opted the language spoken by the aggressor in this situation.

OP posts:
Pretenditsaplan · 30/09/2016 00:54

If my post had of been about leaving an abusive bastard why should I of cared about grammar? I made 1 mistake and and I'm vilified for it. Is this really what we want mumsnet to become? Accessible to only those of us that know all when it comes to spelling and grammar? And even when we think we've proof read out posts tiny imperfections become roadblocks to real advice??

OP posts:
Pretenditsaplan · 30/09/2016 00:57

I can understand needing a post to be clear to give advice but this is ridiculous you had context if you couldn't work it out from that you need to reevaluate your degrees....

OP posts: