Airline seats are the new eating grapes in a supermarket

[OnlyHereForTheCamping]

When I first joined mumsnet and it were all fields etc. The great divide was between those who would eat grapes in a supermarket and those who would not. Now it appears to be those who fork out for seats on a plane and those who don't

fuck me Derek just how tight IS your chuff ?

I was excited about the eviction but now I'm getting bored - hurry the fuck up

I'm holding on to her on purpose to piss you lot off

You'll never piss me off as much as Reality did with the longest gestation ever. I swear she was pregnant for at least eight years

I will hunt you down and do my best James Herriot impression if you don't shift her soon

Derek Oh dear. I only just started perusing MN. Maybe I should just get out now before I'm pulled into the black unforgiving vortex of repetitive thread injury. Having said that, I just paid £70 extra to book seats on a Ryanair flight to Edinburgh. My local Wyevale already have their Xmas displays up. I've been an ex smoker for 2 months and my bastard local pub landlord won't let me vape indoors. I never got Xmas presents beyond the age of 12 because my parents thought that 'teenagers are too old for xmas presents'. I fecking hate fireworks but I have no 'frightened pets' excuse to hide behind if I go and complain about the noise. I gave up having cats years ago because they all got run over by people speeding late night through our tiny village. 82 year old bloke next door keeps bothering me to put his eyedrops in after his cataract operation, claiming he can't do it himself. Keerist! How old is he?
But all that trauma will pale into insignificance when I reveal how utterly thoughtless (and I mean that in its actual literal sense) my DH is, every day of the week. When I shower, and he is downstairs, he freely flushes the loo and/or turns on the cold water tap with gay abandon. This results in me being either scalded or. slightly less dangerously, having a sudden icy chill. His response to my complaints is that it never happens to him when he is in the shower, so I must be pressing a button, or something, that makes it go hot, or cold.
READERS: Can anybody take an educated guess about why it never happens to him?
Ok Derek. I got it all off my chest in one fell swoop. Maybe I never, ever, have to come back here. Ever again.

You have mastered MN in one single post

I do love a good Halloween begging thread - there's nothing quite like it other than the 7000 that went before it.

Repetitive Thread Injury

and I only discovered LAST NIGHT that Derek is with child - which I think is about an hour after she found out

Ear piercing, parking and MIL's - Oh MY!

maybe we could have the MIL parking in the wrong place while she's piercing the ears of her grandchild.

Bless her, Dereks not the most observant Mnetter

Gin can the MIL pierce the ears of children while they eat a happy meal?!

if there was some way they could eat the Happy Meal before they'd paid for it then it would be even better

They could be eating the McDonald's in another restaurant!

I do believe the traditional festive threads about the Shoebox Appeal are scheduled to begin just after autumn half term.

And what about the Easter Egg buying MILs who will insist on busting the annual chocolate ration by turning up with a Chocolate Buttons egg for which they have no permit .

NO NO SHOE BOXES - THEY LEGAL YOU WITH SERIOUS SILENCING

Now eating a happy meal in a plane seat you didn't pay for NOT next to your child ...

A mil made entirely of chocolate riffling through your knickers while sitting on the airline seat you paid for your 4357 month old baby while breastfeeding your husband and arranging for your neighbour to park on your face while smoking and having a party at 8pm .... Oh and the party is attended only by the school run women who once looked at you the wrong way 5 years ago

OOOh Halloween threads just love them. Was begining to despair as the current ones are all (except one post I think) Halloween lovers, not that I dont like sharing Haloweeny stuff, I do cos we go a bit mad for it here in Scotland .

DO love the old chestnuts "its an american tradition, its begging, its evil, you are inviting satan into your childs lives, you are dammed for cavorting with spirits etc".

Hoping to see some erm... 'colourful' threads soon.

....in business class...

oh god YES happy meals in business class !

when do the first parent evening threads of the year come out?

I'm spending too much time on here. I thought Gin and Derek were discussing piercing baby ears with Gin as the local anaesthetic.

Can I remind you to add post Mother's Day disappointment threads to the diary? Then the miserable people can come out and say its Mothering Sunday, actually