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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my dad to keep opinion to stop badmouthing baby name?

66 replies

pinkglasgow23 · 25/09/2016 14:46

I am 6 months pregnant with my first baby, and my partner and I decided on a name when we found out it's a boy.

Partner came up with the name and we both really like it and others seem to like it too, except for my dad. He'll mention every other day "so is it still gonna be (name)?" and laughs about it when I tell other family members what his name will be.

I know it might seem a bit dramatic to be getting annoyed about it so much but we've been set on the name for about 6 weeks now and the laughing at the name infront of other people is a bit hurtful.

AIBU to tell him to back off a bit?

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 25/09/2016 14:49

That's the name and he had to live with it. It ysbyour baby and you decide what you will name it. Do you want to tell us the name?

AmeliaJack · 25/09/2016 14:49

I would tell him in no uncertain terms to stop being so rude.

He had his chance to name babies, this is yours, it's nothing to do with him.

You might want to point out that he is damaging his relationship with both you and your partner.

HardcoreLadyType · 25/09/2016 14:50

Rule number one of baby naming - never tell anyone the name before the baby is born.

Sorry, I know it's too late for that now.

I think you might have to lay down the law to your father.

"Yes, it is still [insert lovely name here] and all your rudeness about it is making me more and more determined to stick to my choice."

PinkyOfPie · 25/09/2016 14:51

Yes please do tell us, most of the time these threads show parents choosing a perfectly lovely name and their parents are just stumped they haven't picked David or Philip or something!

I think tell him to pipe down and maybe take it as a lesson learned, this is exactly the reason we never told anyone our baby names until birth, people are a lot less likely to criticise a name when you've actually called your living breathing baby it

JasperDamerel · 25/09/2016 14:51

I'd suggest that if he wants to have a good relationship with his grandson, an ideal way to start would be by not laughing at his name.

SpaceDinosaur · 25/09/2016 14:53

And this is why DH and I are not discussing baby names with anyone other than each other before baby is born.

Much easier to present a gorgeous baby with a name than spend months suffering people's bloody "opinions" as they react to whatever you've decided.
For most pple who aren't the parents to be, baby's name is an abstract concept until the baby is physically born therefore open to opinion.

Sorry OP. Some people don't know when to STFU and it appears your Dad is one of them. Tell him

kimann · 25/09/2016 14:53

We're having this now with my son - he's 12 days old and I'm still being asked if we are going to name him said name. Not only do my parents do that, my brother seems to think it's an odd name too and almost everyday makes fun of it! Hmm it's terribly annoying and frustrating so I understand and sympathise with your predicament!

DPotter · 25/09/2016 14:54

You would not be unreasonable to tell him to back off. Maybe even enlist the help of someone who he would listen to as well.

I know you and your partner are excited but the best way to make sure people don't go bad mouthing your choice of names is not to tell anyone until the baby's born. The cat is out of the bag now, so I would stop talking about it when he's around, don't give him the chance to start mocking

sonlypuppyfat · 25/09/2016 14:54

You really need to tell us the name so we can see what his problem is

VioletBam · 25/09/2016 14:57

I never told anyone our planned names because of this. Just don't! I couldn't use a name if someone had spoiled it like this.

You know you're going to need to tell us the name OP. If it's something like Kaden I think your Dad's right.

If it's something like Tommy or Billy then he's wrong.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 25/09/2016 14:57

We told everyone we were going to call our ds Oleg. . They stopped asking eventually. . Tell them something similarly stupid and they will shut up. . Then name him your choice and they can put up and shut up.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 25/09/2016 15:02

Next time he asks say "No we've changed our minds we've decided on ??? now." Keep changing the name to progressively more hideous choices over the next few months then when baby is born revert back to your original choice.

2kids2dogsnosense · 25/09/2016 15:14

How unkind of him! The daughter of couple of friends of ours had a lovely little girl that she and her DH gave an unusual name. Our male friend was really upset by it - he thought it was a ridiculous thing to call a baby and was very vocal to us about it (his wife also thought it was daft, but wasn't as forceful about it), but he has never said a word to them about their choice, and now (4 years later, is so used to it he never even thinks about it. She's just his lovely grand-daughter.

You use your chosen name - you both like it so it doesn't matter what your dad thinks. (Also rather like Cheesecake's idea - he'll be relieved by a comparatively "normal" name when the time comes.)

MeeWhoo · 25/09/2016 15:15

Nahhh, we've decided to name him "grandad is an idiot".

Queenbean · 25/09/2016 15:16

Oooooh what's the name?

dillyduck · 25/09/2016 15:18

It isn't from game of thrones or similar is it? Or named after a variety of grape?

Floggingmolly · 25/09/2016 15:23

What's the name? Could he be doing your child a favour??

Princecharlesfirstwife · 25/09/2016 15:23

It's a little bit worrying that you say 'partner came up with the name' - do you mean he made it up?

Original poster
pinkglasgow23 · 25/09/2016 15:27

Thanks for the feedback! Hes really excited about becoming a granddad. (This will be his first grandchild) but the taking the piss out his name is starting to really irritate. DP says to ignore but with my hormones everywhere its easy to get more and more upset!

Th name we picked is Zachary or Zac for short! CheeseCake that sounds like a great idea Grin

OP posts:
Lorelei76 · 25/09/2016 15:27

Is it a name? You say your partner came up with it. A colleague of mine made up a name for his kid based on a mix of family initials. It's like Dedofati - well that's an example only it's longer. I was hoping the registrar wouldn't allow it.

Lorelei76 · 25/09/2016 15:28

X post
Zachary sounds great, your dad's just being rude.

trafalgargal · 25/09/2016 15:29

My Dad reacted in a similar way . Hated our choice of boy name (we opted not to find out the sex in advance). Not sure why he didn't like it it's a non out there biblical name (and he gave me his mother's biblical name so he's not anti them). Apparently when he was telling his business partner and staff the name after he was born he could barely say it (they all thought he was nuts as its a normal and nice name and they told him so)

Didn't stop him loving his grandson to bits and being utterly besotted about him though .......and he soon got used to the name .

Take no notice he'll get over it (and have some fun "changing your mind " to more and more ridiculous names in the meantime :) )

DesignedForLife · 25/09/2016 15:30

That's s great name, was on my shortlist for DS.

melibu84 · 25/09/2016 15:31

That's an awesome name! and I'm not just saying that cos that's my son's name too ;) :)

Bambambini · 25/09/2016 15:31

Zachary or Zac is lovely. I thought it was going to be a bit out there but it's nice and sort of bog standard actually.

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