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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to secretly get rid of our kitten and tell the DC that it ran away?

723 replies

SaggyBaggyPuss · 25/09/2016 14:37

Have had kitten for around 6 weeks now. DC have wanted a pet for a long time and I gave in and got one for them. Cats are easier to deal with than dogs right?

Well today, I have had enough. I had have to scoop 3 lots of shit out of the litter box and there was a piece of shit on the floor that must have come off her paws and which means that the whole house, and sofa is now covered in cat shit germs Envy puke!

It also runs up the curtains which are now all pulled. My leather --look- dining chairs have scratch marks where it keeps jumping up the back of them and it has pulled up the carpet on the stairs.

DS (6) is constantly chasing it round the house with an incessant cackle (over excited, not cruelly, the cat loves him) which does my head in and keeps taking it upstairs to lie on his bed.

Last week, it has a runny arse and I still have the wounds where I had to bath it, not before it spread kitty shit germs everywhere again.

As a side note, I also suffer from OCD. Not 'a bit' but actually diagnosed.

I love my DCs to bits but they also love the kitty a lot. I am not sure I can put them first this time!

WIBU to find a good home for it and tell them it ran off into the forest and I couldn't find it

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
pennycarbonara · 25/09/2016 15:02

Can you ban the cat from certain rooms? Or is it an open plan house?
If it's only allowed in the kitchen and the hallways that limits the areas it can do damage. Lots of people don't allow pets in some rooms. Though inevitably there is the occasional incursion.

You sound really exasperated at the moment, but maybe having the kitten might help with the OCD in the long run, if you can make small adjustments for it. Do you think regaining control of some parts of the house might help it seem less overwhelming?

If you think you might be able to cope with it longer, get a catflap when it's old enough so it can spend more time outside.

You can get claw covers to stop them scratching: soft-claws.co.uk/
(although not always a good idea for a cat that spends a lot of time outside as that impedes its ability to defend itself)

Cheby · 25/09/2016 15:02

We are being driven slightly mad by our kitten at the moment too OP. They are barmy, it's just what they do. She will settle down loads by 6 months or so. We have 2 older cats too who are basically no trouble.

Original poster
SaggyBaggyPuss · 25/09/2016 15:03

I know all about kitten behaviour and even have a scratch post . Just underestimated the smell and constant dealing with shit!

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 25/09/2016 15:03

it can go out once it's spayed - not before unless you want more unloved pets

Kaylasmum49 · 25/09/2016 15:03

Seriously have none of you ever made mistakes before?!! Give the op a break.

littleprincesssara · 25/09/2016 15:05

Just goes to show how important it is to research before committing to the welfare of a living creature.

When my dad was looking to adopt a cat he told the shelters he was only interested in older cats as he knew he would likely struggle with a kitten.

I won't have a cat or a dog even though I'd dearly love one because I know I'm not responsible enough and they wouldn't fit into my lifestyle. I have pets that require relatively little care instead.

ghostyslovesheep · 25/09/2016 15:05

not with live animals - no - buying a pet without thinking it through is daft

Kleinzeit · 25/09/2016 15:05

Oh dear! I have cats and have had a mixed experience with them. If your kitten is using her tray reliably then that's a good thing. Kittens do calm down a lot after a few months.

You should not allow DS to chase the kitten, even if he doesn’t mean it cruelly and the kitten loves him it is stressful for the kitten to be chased. Your DS could run round the house trailing a piece of string for the kitten to chase instead! Do make sure that she has safe spaces where she can be away from the children, and that her litter tray and food bowls are in places where the children wont bother her.

I don’t quite understand why you need to scoop the litter box immediately? Once a day should be enough. Put a large mat or newspaper under the tray so her paws get wiped as she leaves. A covered litter tray might be a good idea, not all cats like them but they do contain the smell. I have a large covered tray with a smaller tray inside and a mat outside. Your kitten shouldn’t usually have very dirty paws or be trailing poo, so if her poo is always runny then a trip to the vet might be a good idea.

I hope you can find a way to all live happily together!

Original poster
SaggyBaggyPuss · 25/09/2016 15:05

It is booked in for spaying this coming week thank you.

OP posts:
Sara107 · 25/09/2016 15:05

If you are OCD probably a pet of any description is a bad idea. People have this idea of cats being 'clean' but of course they are just as filthy as any other animal, humans included. If you are not prepared to put up with the kitten being a kitten, rehome it now when it is still young and not fully settled. But do not lie to the children, they will be so upset if they think it is lost.
If it is suffering from runny tummies and lots of frequent, soft messy poos you need to look at its diet - this isn't normal for a cat any more than for a person. Are you giving it milk? Don't. Try changing its food, consult the vet or somebody from your local cats protection league to advise on suitable food. Also, are you fully up to date with worming? Sorry if that grosses you out, but worms can lead to irritation and runs!
Provide a scratching post and plenty of toys, lock it out of rooms that you don't want wrecked, tell Ds not to chase it and make it manic. Keep its claws trimmed so they don't get too sharp (our vets do this for free in a nurse appointment).

HollyBollyBooBoo · 25/09/2016 15:05

Find it a better home but be honest with your kids.

If you're OCD the anxiety an animal is going to cause you is just not worth it.

WhiskersAndPaws · 25/09/2016 15:05

Your attitude is awful. Regime the kitten and get some help for your condition of you don't want your kids to miss out.

AdaLovelacesCat · 25/09/2016 15:06

so many perfect people here being dreadful to the OP. People, it's a KITTEN. It will not mind where it lives.
My kitten was going in the garden for months before I took her to be spayed.

dailymaillazyjournos · 25/09/2016 15:06

Rehome the kitten. It sounds.like pet.ownership isn't right for you. Telling the DC that's it's gone missing is cruel though.

All pets, even house trained adult ones wi have times when it throws up, has the runs or is unwell. I look after my friends old cat and he is beyond fussy with food now, needs a litter tray again and I was cleaning out wee and poo from it many times a day as well as needing to get him to the vet as he wouldn't eat anything. I ended up hand feeding him.till my friends got back. They can be hard work and you need to be ok with that to have pets. If this kitten is rehome the kids will be sad and angry for a while most probably, but in the long run it's the best thing for the kitten and for you.

Wilberforce2 · 25/09/2016 15:06

Wow! This is a kitten we are talking about not a child!

Op everyone makes mistakes don't worry about it, you got a kitten and have decided it's not for you so rehome and tell the dc's it ran away/escaped etc. A couple of weeks and they will have forgotten about it!

You could give it a few weeks and see if you warm to it or just re-home now.

Good luck!

JenLindleyShitMom · 25/09/2016 15:06

The older 3 are not helping with the scooping/feeding as they promised.

Grin

Okay, you can't seriously have believed they would? That's kids+pets 101!

SemiNormal · 25/09/2016 15:07

YABU because you acted on a whim in getting the kitten, you clearly didn't think it through enough.

Rehoming the kitten ASAP would be the kindest thing for the kitten IMO. If you're this bad now then I dread to think what you'll be like when it starts moulting. Cat hair gets everywhere and can be difficult to get rid of.

ghostyslovesheep · 25/09/2016 15:07

I'd be concerned about a kitten with an upset tum - what caused that?

I'm sorry to be harsh but all my cats are rescue cats - dumped kittens and it's sad to read - but do the best for the kit and rehome it via the vets or a rescue

CrazyNameCrazyGuy · 25/09/2016 15:08

As has been said, I'm surprised you didn't look into the practicalities prior to getting the kitten.

Do you have any family or friends who would rehome the kitten? That way your DC could still get to see it now and then.

If not then a reputable rescue is the best way to go (not the RSPCA). Kittens are more likely to be rehomed than adult cats and the rescue will do proper checks for suitability.

You need to be honest with your children though, both about where the kitten has gone and the fact that you can't cope with a cat or dog.

expatinscotland · 25/09/2016 15:08

Rehome her and get the kids a hamster or guinea pig.

Boffered1 · 25/09/2016 15:10

I think you are getting a rough ride here op. You have made a mistake and a big one but if you can't cope you can't cope. The kitten is better off rehomed if it's making you unbearably unhappy for both your sakes. Oh and you are not a total cow you are just someone who made a mistake.

franincisco · 25/09/2016 15:11

I feel for you OP. My DH got a kitten and it pretty much did what yours does. It won't last forever, mine is 4 now and is asleep most of the time. YWBVU to pretend it ran away, the children would forever be wondering where it went.

My DC are utterly obsessed with our cat, they include him as a sibling Hmm and if they had to choose between him or me it would be a very reluctant, painful me.

bumsexatthebingo · 25/09/2016 15:11

Also I would think about how you will feel about germs etc when the cat can go outside walking through alleys etc. I have a relative with OCD and she won't have our cat near her and practically bathes in hand gel any time she touches anything.

bumsexatthebingo · 25/09/2016 15:13

And I agree some kind of caged pet or fish might be a better fit.

nursepearl · 25/09/2016 15:13

I think you have been irresponsible here, you must have known that the cat would walk around and spread germs, young animals need a lot of care and training, they are not toys you can put away in a cupboard. Yes rehome it to a reputable centre and don't get any more animals. Expect your DC to be upset, that's your fault for not thinking it through properly. Agree with PP that there should be some control over who buys pets, not sure how it could be managed though