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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to secretly get rid of our kitten and tell the DC that it ran away?

723 replies

SaggyBaggyPuss · 25/09/2016 14:37

Have had kitten for around 6 weeks now. DC have wanted a pet for a long time and I gave in and got one for them. Cats are easier to deal with than dogs right?

Well today, I have had enough. I had have to scoop 3 lots of shit out of the litter box and there was a piece of shit on the floor that must have come off her paws and which means that the whole house, and sofa is now covered in cat shit germs Envy puke!

It also runs up the curtains which are now all pulled. My leather --look- dining chairs have scratch marks where it keeps jumping up the back of them and it has pulled up the carpet on the stairs.

DS (6) is constantly chasing it round the house with an incessant cackle (over excited, not cruelly, the cat loves him) which does my head in and keeps taking it upstairs to lie on his bed.

Last week, it has a runny arse and I still have the wounds where I had to bath it, not before it spread kitty shit germs everywhere again.

As a side note, I also suffer from OCD. Not 'a bit' but actually diagnosed.

I love my DCs to bits but they also love the kitty a lot. I am not sure I can put them first this time!

WIBU to find a good home for it and tell them it ran off into the forest and I couldn't find it

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
SpecialStains · 26/09/2016 16:51

For the litter, get a big covered tray with a flap and use wood chippings for litter. They're heavier and don't track through the house as much. He won't be a kitten forever, adult cats are much easier to look after. I wouldn't get a kitten again (and I adore Special Cat) but I'd happily rehome an older cat.

lizzieoak · 26/09/2016 16:51

Mr Spock has fantastic whiskers! Black and white cats seem to be taking over the world. Which is odd, as when I was a kid I only remember seeing tabbies & completely black cats. Where have all these jello led come from?

VilootShesCute · 26/09/2016 16:51

Kittens and puppies are a pain in the arse BUT it passes and then they're wonderful. I don't think people realise how much work they are sometimes and seem surprised when they have to clear up mess for the first few months. No reason to rehome, unless they are being mistreated. I too suffer from ocd and sympathise with op's distress but just try really hard to get through the crap at the beginning and you'll be rewarded with love and cuddles and I must say our pets have really helped with my pet poo phobia. Other people's animals shit though...that's another matter.

lizzieoak · 26/09/2016 16:52

Sorry, phone again, jellicles, not jello led now. Am giving up now & slinking off in shame.

VilootShesCute · 26/09/2016 16:53

Being a smug puss having cuddles...

to secretly get rid of our kitten and tell the DC that it ran away?
MaddyHatter · 26/09/2016 16:56

girl cat is a tabby and white, but i don't have many photo's of her on my computer, they're all on my tablet as i have to stalk her to get any, lol.

mycatwantstokillme1 · 26/09/2016 16:58

Some posters have made personal comments about the OP which are ridiculous, that's what I object to. She made a mistake, like all of us have done at one point or another. Again, I'd expect outrage at real animal abuse, not someone who thought they could manage a kitten but then realised they couldn''t.

Some of these posts are so disproportionate I can't quite believe it.

LastBusHome · 26/09/2016 16:59

Cats...
Will scratch carpets, curtains & furniture
Are difficult to train not to do this
Will spill food out of their bowls
Will knock their water over
Will sometimes wee in the sink
Meow at night
Hunt small animals (if allowed out) and will bring some home for you

But they also...
Clean themselves thoroughly
Give lots of love and affection
Will be trained to use a litter tray (try one with a lid if it's going on the floor)
Teach children kindness
Make a house feel homely

At the end of the day you have to prepared that a cat will make a mess sometimes but they are generally very clean animals and you need to give the kitten a chance to learn. When it goes outside it will scratch less and not need the try which will make it easier. It's only going to get easier but you will never eliminate all scratching.

GerundTheBehemoth · 26/09/2016 17:03

This was my most challenging foster kitten - she was feral and scared stiff of humans. I looked after her for a local rescue charity. She settled down with time - she's still shy but she's turned into a really affectionate sweetheart. She's now very happy in her permanent home, with a lovely cat pal (also rescued).

to secretly get rid of our kitten and tell the DC that it ran away?
DarklyDreamingDexter · 26/09/2016 17:12

Better to part with the kitten now while it's still small and cute and has a good chance of being rehomed. Cats live 15 years or more so if you can't cope now you have a long, stressful time ahead of you. Don't blame you for finding it more difficult to deal with than you expected. You need to do what's best for all concerned - including the cat - and that may mean a new home.

ISaySteadyOn · 26/09/2016 17:16

I have read through all 23 pages and, though the answer seems obvious, I am going to ask anyway. OP, is there anything at all that you like about your kitten? Not what your kids think or what your h thinks, but you specifically. Do you like anything about her? If not, then take her back to the RSPCA because it would be cruel to keep her somewhere where there are people who dislike every aspect of her existence.

PP who have posted photos, yours are gorgeous. We want a cat but DS is only 2 and there is too much disruption. Maybe when he's 5.

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 17:26

Agree with Oblomov.
As I said, I work for RSPCA.
Go look round any animal shelter to see the amount of 'mistakes' made by buying a pet on a whim, not reading up about it or simply changing mind. Having a pet is a responsibility, a commitment. The things OP describes are just inconveniences that you would expect and that can be sorted - or at least put up with . Our rescue boy has never used his scratch post and only uses the sofa. It's his home too. Luckily it's an old sofa. We are not going to get a new one as it would be pointless. We suck it up because he is worth it. You wouldn't rehome a child because it drew on the walls would you?
We are so stretched in my area (RSPCA) by people's 'mistakes' coming to us that there isn't enough money to go around for the urgent cases e.g. the stray cat or dog that's had a serious road accident and needs a life saving operation that costs over 1k. If people used common sense there'd be more cash for the cases that can't be helped like the feral who needs neutering or the injured wildlife

MaddyHatter · 26/09/2016 17:30

my youngest was just 5 when we got GirlCat, and then Boycat arrived 15 months later.

It was one of those situations where i wanted a cat, DH didn't, so we compromised and got 2, lol.

Girlcat was a present just after my Dad died, she's got me through some of the hardest times in the last 2 years, Boycat was added when DS was diagnosed with ASD as Girlcat doesn't like anyone other than me, so Boycat is supposed to belong to the kids, technically.. he sleeps under Ds's bed!

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 17:30

My rescue boy

to secretly get rid of our kitten and tell the DC that it ran away?
MiscellaneousAssortment · 26/09/2016 17:39

You've made a mistake and appear to be trying to deal with it in a sensible way by responsibly rehoming.

However, on Mumsnet there is extremely strong sentiment about the way animals are treated, especially when they suffer the consequences of bad human choices.

I happen to completely agree with this sentiment, and it's why we don't have any kind of pet even though me and DS would love love love one.

But I don't agree that crucifying posters is the best way to go about educating people. The poster cannot go back in time and make different choices, though no doubt she'd like to. And other readers are more likely to be put off sharing on Mumsnet than they are likely to change their attitudes around pet ownership. Which is a shame, as it IS important to change people's attitudes and behaviour around pet ownership and care.

sorryoldwoman · 26/09/2016 17:41

I might be repeating a comment but I don't have time to read the whole thread but don't give a cat or kitten milk it gives it diarrhea. Make sure the children aren't feeding it something they shouldn't and it has been looked at for worms.

Original poster
SaggyBaggyPuss · 26/09/2016 17:46

You wouldn't rehome a child because it drew on the walls would you?

What a ridiculous comment! It goes without saying but obviously I am more attached to my DC than an animal I have had for 6 weeks Hmm.

It's a cat. Enough now, save your outrage for something important, this is getting boring now.

OP posts:
alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 17:47

Goat milk saved my kitten's life (shown above). He was three weeks old without a mum. Cow's milk.. v bad. But many RSPCA rescue kittens are saved with goats milk

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 17:50

It's a cat??! No, my cat is far more than just a cat to me. I'm infertile. I don't have kids . I'm a responsible pet owner. I'm not arrogant enough to think that humans are more important than animals and that's my choice/ personal viewpoint, I know many that share it.. that's the line of work I'm in, nearly everyone in my branch of RSPCA feels the same. You have no idea of some of the things we have to deal with. People changing their mind re pets. as I said.. means less money for the emergencies.
We are sick of people like you who have just changed their mind and couldn't see obvious consequences of 'things kittens naturally do'
Hope you rehome her to a deserving home. Good luck.. especially to her.

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 17:54

'This is getting boring now' ? Then why start the thread? Why don't you ask MN to remove it then?
This is AIBU. Why post here if you want everyone to agree with you? There are all sorts of viewpoints here. That's how it should be.
Mine is from an animal welfare point of view. Funny how so many post in this section then get arsey if they don't like answers.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/09/2016 17:55

Your cats are all really cute, but I am a dog lover at heart Smile.

Your view is so sad, really it is. My friends 16 year old cat went missing and she was bereft, she told me that some friends told her 'its only a cat', but she told me that it was part of the family, like another family member.It was like loosing a family member. Unless you can see a pet as such, you should not be owning any pets. Really for the sake of this cat, you should rehome him, to a family who will welcome him with open arms and treat him as part of the family, not an appendage to it. Don't own any more pets, as others have said as you are really not cut out for pet ownership.

Good news is, that my friends cat was found safe and well, and family are reunited now.

CancellyMcChequeface · 26/09/2016 17:59

I'm not arrogant enough to think that humans are more important than animals and that's my choice/ personal viewpoint, I know many that share it.

I don't think anyone can truly believe this. Caring deeply about animals and their welfare is one thing, but can you really say that given the choice between saving the life of a human you'd never met, or a cat you'd never met, you'd even consider choosing the cat?

(And I hope you're vegan!)

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 18:02

Yes I'm vegan.
I can't have kids, my pets are more important to me than any child.
As OP's kids would be more important to her than any child.
That's surely how it should be?
They are my pets, they are her kids. Their lives all matter.

CrazyCatLaydee123 · 26/09/2016 18:02

The secret of bathing cats: do not let it hear the tap run. Just run the sink full of warm water. Then dunk cat.
Its hearing the tap that freaks them out!

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 18:03

Why judge me for loving my pets so much? I don't judge a parent who puts her kids first. If more people loved their pets more , the charity I work for wouldn't be as stretched as it is and there wouldn't such appalling cases.
Ones that stay with you. Ones you can't ever erase from your memory and makes you ashamed to be a human being

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