to ask for your lighthearted putting your foot in it moments

[Chocoholicmonster]

I'm forever putting my foot in it completely intentionally. My brain just fails to engage before my mouth half the time. I could add a long list here but I'll share my, by far, most embarrassing 'foot-in-mouth' moment.

In my old job (close knit village shop) someone came in complaining how cold they were. To which I replied 'Oh, you need to be spit roasted' - which was met by such awkwardness & then I realised exactly what I'd said. For some reason before saying it out loud I'd only conjured up images of being twisted round a log fire. Cosy & warm.... Also found trying to explain yourself just makes it all so much worse!

Anyone else got a funny or embarrassing mouth-before-brain moment?

wash,.cut and blowjob Bloody brilliant!!

Almost as bad as the wash, cut and blowjob was when my friend wanted just her fringe cut, sat in the chair and asked if she could have just the cunt frut.

Not me, but I witnessed this. I used to be an Administrator for an EA some years ago. One of the houses we were selling was owned by an extremely nice woman, but we soon realised she was a tad eccentric and prone to making 'foot in mouth' comments.

One day her purchaser came into our office to talk to my colleague who was dealing with the transaction. By coincidence, she came in a couple of minutes later. Colleague realised that they'd never met (she'd always been out when he'd viewed the house), so colleague introduced them to each other.

MrsVendor held out her right hand to shake hands with MrPurchaser. Mr Purchaser had a withered right arm so held out his left hand to shake hands with MrsVendor, saying "I can only shake hands with my left hand" (whilst gesturing to his right arm hanging by his side).

Instead of just swopping hands and shaking with her left hand, MrsVendor looked at his right arm, then looked at his outstretched left hand and said "oh, how .... er ..... quaint"

Sitting next to a girl in class I was saying how my mum had a new colleague called Marge. I then joked 'I wonder if she spreads easily?' Guess what the girls mums name was

I was in a nightclub toilets a few years ago, and a lady came out of another cubicle. I said, "Oh! When are you due?" And she said, "I'm not pregnant!"
I was quite drunk and she took it really well to be fair. We ended up having a laugh about it and mentioned how we both like our food.

A friend brought his new girlfriend to the pub and introduced her to everyone. I thought she had an unusual name but she was easy to talk to and I thought we got on well.

As she was leaving she whispered, "By the way, my name's Olga. You've been calling me Ogre all evening."

Fuck what was I thinking? I still cringe about it now.

Said to my cousin "to be fair your mum's not one of nature's cooks is she?" She isn't! She's lovely but her food is really weird. Cousin said "my mum's a wonderful cook" and I tried to play it off as her mum wasn't a boring normal cook but a gifted improviser. Not sure my own improvisation worked.

gifted improviser.

Haha! Genius for a spur of the moment backtrack - so difficult on the wing, and it's almost a compliment!

Thanks Leticia. I'm not bad at thinking on my feet but it was a fuck up. I just never dreamed she thought her mum was a good cook!

Once at work we got into a conversation about tattoos and I said how I really didn't like horrible shitty dolphin tattoos - cue the lady I was talking to rolling up her sleeves to show me her -horrible- -shitty- dolphin tattoo. Had to do the whole "Oooh, thats actually really nice!" whilst cringing!