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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for your lighthearted putting your foot in it moments

85 replies

Chocoholicmonster · 24/09/2016 22:23

I'm forever putting my foot in it completely intentionally. My brain just fails to engage before my mouth half the time. I could add a long list here but I'll share my, by far, most embarrassing 'foot-in-mouth' moment.

In my old job (close knit village shop) someone came in complaining how cold they were. To which I replied 'Oh, you need to be spit roasted' - which was met by such awkwardness & then I realised exactly what I'd said. For some reason before saying it out loud I'd only conjured up images of being twisted round a log fire. Cosy & warm.... Also found trying to explain yourself just makes it all so much worse! Grin

Anyone else got a funny or embarrassing mouth-before-brain moment?

OP posts:
FurryLittleTwerp · 25/09/2016 22:36

I took a corked bottle of wine "back" to Majestic Wine to complain & get my money back, to find they didn't stock that type - a friend had brought it as a gift & I'd forgotten.

After a few drinks a crowd of us were asking each other about which film stars we liked / didn't like & I loudly announced I couldn't bear Leonardo Di Caprio because he was so short Hmm Confused Said while looking directly at my friend's lovely 5'4" husband Blush

MumiTravels · 25/09/2016 22:43

As a very new student nurse a patient asked for assistance to the toilet. I tootied down looking all under the bed and then said to the patient "I can only find one slipper", he replied "I've only got one leg". I wanted to die there and then.

TyrionLannisterforKing · 25/09/2016 23:39

In the hairdresser, talking to another customer whose DD was the same age as me:
"We chose school because DD is legally blind, and they were very helpful with it."
"Oh," I say, and to keep the conversation going: "That's ok. I'm shortsighted, you see."

And a few months earlier, abroad. I see someone with a huge designer suitcase, cringe worthy, and loudly comment to my mum, thinking that no one would understand us: "Isn't that awful?"
You guessed it. That was before I understood that our nation was responsable for a good part of international tourism. She turns to me and bluntly asks: "Why awful?"
Cue me stammering about the shipping price and possible damages on the plane.

LetitiaCropleysCookbook · 26/09/2016 00:09

Having coffee with a group of friends, and discussing furnishings and decor we did/didn't like.

Me: I can't bear those net curtains that go up in the middle, I don't see the point.

Hostess (mildly): Oh, d'you mean like the one I've got in my bedroom?

I cannot remember for the life of me what, or if I responded! Blush

pinkoneblueone · 26/09/2016 00:24

I can't think of any atm but I'm sure I'll remember some soon!

Original poster
Chocoholicmonster · 26/09/2016 09:52

pings, that had me in stitches this morming! Grin

OP posts:
IWantAnotherBaby · 26/09/2016 10:41

I was talking to a school mum acquaintance, making small talk, at a party she was hosting for our teenagers. She was saying nice things about my new baby while our teenagers were chatting. Her youngest was 13. I said "Of course you're well past all this", meaning the sleepless nights baby stage - but of course it sounded as if I was calling her old. Worse as I think shes younger than me... cringe...

Ezzie29 · 26/09/2016 10:45

I was chatting to a friend about Janet Jackson getting pregnant at 50 and how it was far too old. Friend then informed me her mother had had her at 45, cue me trying to back peddle about how those 5 years made all the difference.

The stupid thing is, that's not even how I feel so I don't know why I said it!! And instead of just saying that I appear to have randomly decided to talk shite and to ignore me, I just started digging a hole.

SandraDoubleDee · 26/09/2016 10:55

My cousin came to visit my new house and I was walking around the house telling them everything I wanted to do including getting rid of the tacky flowery feature wall and ripping out the cheap nasty B&Q kitchen.

When I went around to their newly renovated house a couple of weeks later they had the exact same feature wall paper and cheap B&Q kitchen that I so emphatically told them I wanted out ASAP.

Blush
alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 11:08

Mumi, I had similar recently. Working in charity shop and asked a donator to fill in a Gift Aid form. I'm left-handed and hold pen in an unusual way which people always comment on and noticed he did exactly the same so I commented, ''All the best people are left handed. It's meant to be a sign of creativity''. He then pulls out deformed hand (more stump) from his right sleeve and says 'Well I don't really have a choice there''...

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 11:12

Furrylittletwerp, 6ft is short??!! Confused

alltoomuchrightnow · 26/09/2016 11:23

Crying at the moving scarecrow :)

JellyBelli · 26/09/2016 11:25

I told someone they were looking really well and they'd just been diagnosed with ME.
Chez Jelli, we call this Foot In Mouth disease.

SuperBoppy · 26/09/2016 11:59

I was once crossing the road to a local shop that had a couple of kids outside doing Penny for the Guy. As I was coming across the crossing, the little one kept shouting "Penny for the Guy?" at me. Said it three times. On the fourth go I shouted back "I heard you the first time, there's not need to shout, I'm not deaf!!". I just got the word "deaf" out when I'd got close enough to notice he'd got two hearing aids bless him.

Felt a bit bad, but managed to chuckle about it with the cashier in the shop whilst paying, only to realise I was stood next to his Mum! Blush

He did ok out of it - got a healthy Penny for the Guy guilt payment on the way out of the shop!!

MissMoo22 · 26/09/2016 12:23

Chatting with a friend's daughter about her visit to see her Dad when she mentions that 'Jenny' was there and I say 'oh that's right, your Dad and Jenny have moved in together at last'. Not only did she not know Jenny had moved in but she didn't even know he was dating her! She was always told Jenny was just a friend and even though friends DD was a teenager she believed it. Cue angry texts from friends ex when he finds out I've let slip.

Walking up the flight of stairs into the hairdressers and repeating to myself what I want to ask for. Open the door and the reception area is packed with people waiting their turn so I fake some confidence and march up to the desk and ask for a 'wash, cut and blowjob' which is the fucking thing I was repeating to myself on the stairs NOT to say as I always worry it'll come out when I ask for a blowdry. I hate speaking in front of loads of people so that was a complete fuckery.

AlpacaPicnic · 26/09/2016 12:30

Out with friends for drinks for my birthday last week and one of them pulls out a pile of shopping vouchers that he had earned doing overtime, so we could see which shops he could spend them in.

'Toy R Us, lovely, Waterstones, that's handy, Thorntons...'

Ooh, don't bother with Thontons, bleats I, they're shit these days. The recipe has changed, the chocolate is disgusting... I was given a box last year and I threw half of them away, and I never throw food away!

Oh, he replies sadly, I had bought you a bag for your birthday but I'll find someone else to give them to...

1wokeuplikethis · 26/09/2016 12:53

At the doctors, he told me he needed to examine my bottom with his finger to which I merrily replied 'are you not even going to ask me out for a drink first? Ho Ho!'

He cleared his throat and got up to get me a chaperone.

I don't even like it up the bum. That much.

Salmiak · 26/09/2016 13:05

Went as a plus one to a wedding reception. Was chatting to the bride when her father came over and gave her a hug, I congratulated him on his daughters wedding. Turned out he was the groom, not her dad. Blush

Watto1 · 26/09/2016 13:33

Years ago at work I was waffling on about how odd I thought it was to deliberately try for a millennium baby. Why would you want to be in labour when everybody else is partying, there will be a skeleton staff in the hospital etc, etc. Two days later, one of the guys who had been present during my diatribe announced that he and his wife were expecting a baby. Due date ? 1st January 2000 of course!

PopPopRadio · 26/09/2016 13:34

I was riding an elephant in Thailand on honeymoon a few years ago and the man on the elephant in front of us was taking loads of photos including of me and my DW. It occurred to me that we could take some of him and swap email addresses after and exchange photos. Unfortunately what I actually bellowed at him was:

"Oi! If you keep taking photos of us, we'll start taking photos of you."

I couldn't work out why he stopped taking photos at that point for ages after.

Another time at DW's parents, her Mum was cooking dinner but we had eaten fairly recently in town so trying to demonstrate how much I liked her cooking I said "I'm sure I can force it down."
Well down well....Not!

LaContessaDiPlump · 26/09/2016 13:36

I'm sure I've done this myself but I recall with a wry smile the time a school parent friend said 'Well we didn't get DS's shoes from Tesco - that would be a bit TOO scummy!' I went 'Ahaha' and hoped she didn't spot DS's Tesco specials Grin I didn't take offence, it was funny Grin she may still be oblivious actually!

BigDamnHero · 26/09/2016 13:43

I think I've recounted this before on MN but it was so embarrassing I'll write it again.

I worked in a shop as a student. One day a new girl started and I was asked to watch over her and keep her right on the tills. Absolutely fine.

We got chatting and she asked about how well everyone got on in the shop.

Me: Everyone's really nice, actually. Except for the assistant manager; everyone really hates him!

Her: Yeah...I suppose he can be a bit annoying.

Me: Oh...you know him?

Her: He's my brother. That's how I got the job.

To be fair, the assistant manager really was a right twat and a complete creep but I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

MrsHathaway · 26/09/2016 13:44

"I can only find one slipper", he replied "I've only got one leg"

::howls::

Lambzig · 26/09/2016 13:57

My ex boss has absolute form for this. My favourite is on me getting him to sign the photos for my passport application he said "You look lovely in these photos - did you use Photoshop?".

TaterTots · 26/09/2016 14:27

Lambzig - a colleague said virtually the same thing to me recently! He eventually realised I looked different because I wasn't wearing my glasses Grin

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