Sexual Assault by Teens?

[rainysunday7]

There was an incident on a school trip (15 year olds). The boys pinned her down a girl and touched her inappropriately, putting their hands up her top, pulling her hair etc. . There were about seven of them.

It was reported to the school by another student. The school intervied the girl who admitted it had happened. The boys were excluded for a couple of days while the school investigated.

The girl was asked if she wanted to press charges against them, she didn't want to so the boys returned to school.

She has lost most of her friends as they say she should have told them loudly to stop (she said she did) but apparently not loud enough. They said she deserved it as she is a "slag" anyway and wants sympathy. One of the boys was going to spit on her but stopped. Her friends say that he didn't in the end so she should "get over it and stop being an attention seeking drama queen".

Her so called friends are backing up these boys and threatening her on behalf of the boys but the school have only given them a talking to.

Even though it is not my child involved AIBU to be absolutely fuming on her behalf? I cannot do anything about it but every time I think about it, it makes me so angry.

[elephantoverthehill]

This is serious safeguarding issue. The staff were not vigilant, sitting at the front of the coach, what risk assessment was carried out for coach travel? We always try to put staff front, middle and back of a coach. Will any girls who witnessed this feel safe? Any Head worth their salt would red flag this immediately whether of not the minor wished to 'press charges'.

[helenatroy]

Rainy I'm glad she has you. One sane voice in a sea of judgment, unfairness, bullying , cruelty and apathy.

[PovertyPain]

Sorry OP, but the "she's not my daughter", is the reason so many young girls end up being abused. "Not my business, nothing to do with me, someone else will sort it/deal with it, not not not excuse excuse excuse". That's how my youngest, my niece with SN, spent most of her life being abused. I fought for years and now she's safe with me. Her paternal family prefer to believe that her father was just being "bad mouthed" by me.

Don't let your niece down. So what if they fall out with you, at least this CHILD will be safe.

[elephantoverthehill]

I went off to watch Casualty, refreshed the page but did not see that there was a next page. Sorry pp were saying the same as I have posted.

[Pollyanna9]

Yes, there's a lot to be said for being able to post anonymously to NSPCC for cases like this where you want to do something but you feel you'd be stepping on toes to do it. So you can do it and you can do it without anyone knowing that you did it. So I'd say, do it.

Ditto with the police - you can report on Crimestoppers in just the same way to raise it as a criminal matter.

[Ionacat]

This seems to be one of the biggest myths on here. OFSTED do not investigate individual complaints about schools and that includes safeguarding and they will only look at a complaint after you have exhausted the schools complaints procedure, then EFA/DFES etc.

OP you've had some excellent advice from some more knowledgeable posters and the NSPCC should be able to give you some answers. The video circulating rings alarm bells for me as at every school I've worked at when we've heard about inappropriate videos circulating the police are automatically called. (And then the PSCOs usually follow up with an assembly on how serious it is.)

[PovertyPain]

Do you honestly think your niece will be safe if she/you say nothing? They got away with it once, so they've been given a green light to do it again. The difference is, after already been let down, she might not even put up a fight, after all everyone already thinks she's a slag and who will believe her now Time to step up, OP.

[TheTyrannyOfMAGENTA]

Your poor niece. Glad you are calling nspcc for advice.

[imwithspud]

Ignore those you have spoken to who say it has nothing to do with you. That may be the case with some things, but with something as serious as this, ALL adults have a duty to protect those who are more vulnerable in society. You are aware of the situation, that alone means you have a duty to protect this child since no one else seems to be willing to.

It's very sad that even her parents aren't willing to stick their neck out for her. If you don't do something, who will? Your niece needs you. Do contact NSPCC, as well as the LA and Ofsted.

[foursillybeans]

I would probably write to the chair of governors at the school. Possibly wrote to the local councillors and MP as well regarding concerns that the school are breeding a culture that sexual abuse is tolerated. This affects the local community as these boys obviously live locally and their behaviour will carry on outside school.

[RubbleBubble00]

It's chilling. They have got away with this, what could be next.

[imother]

I would write to the head, cc the governors and set out what I wanted to happen:
full investigation
boys suspended while investigation happens
boys interviewed individually
girls 'friends' interviewed individually
video found/watched/reported
Term course of PSE on sexual equality/harassment/abuse/violence
Counselling for your dn

Unless all the above were immediately put into action I would threaten (and do it) involving the police and local press.

You can't really act as her aunt, it will cause all sorts of family grief if you do it against their wishes, but I would go and see the parents and talk to them again.

[KindDogsTail]

I don't know what to advise, I feel horrified. I know it happens that other people in the school, the very people who should take the girl's side, will back the sexual abuser/abusers and they are shoring each other up.

Do their parents know. If it were my son I'd be devasted and furious with him and I'd be even more furious if my son were getting the go -ahead to be a rapist while in school, backed up by the school!

She is lucky to have you or she would start doubting herself. She probably already is.

I wonder if anyone on the Feminism threads would know what to do.

[imother]

I suppose you could always report anonymously to crimestoppers?

[WyldFyre]

If the video had been put online, the decision to prosecute could end up being taken out of the girl's hands.
We had a case in Scotland recently where someone was convicted of assault on the basis of a video posted online - even though the complainer had not, and did not want to, make a complaint.

[Omgkitties]

Please please please contact the police. It's the right thing to do.

How do you know these boys haven't done similar to other girls that are afraid to speak up and never will now they've seen what happened to your niece when she did. Or that they'll try similar again but go further?

I remember when I was 14 years old, a lad who I though was my friend, he was about 17 used to always try touching me and try forcing me into sex. I gave in once but because I agreed to it and we never actually had full sex I decided not to tell anyone. 2 years later a 15 year old girl reported him for sexual assault and he was then charged for sexual assaulting another 40 girls, including one of my best friends. He got out a year ago and one of the girls I still had on Facebook was terrified he would come back for her.

If I had said something when it first happened perhaps I could've prevented it happening again or helped the other girls he had assaulted to come forward too.

[Omgkitties]

And I should add, I was not one of the 40 girls who he was charged for.

People used to call me a slag in school after a nasty rumour so I didn't want to say anything to give them more reason to say so.

[Lizmay12]

I can't imagine how hard this is for her. I remember being in school and aside from the trauma she has been through from this incident, the thought of her having to face school is terrible. Something has to be done.

As Pp have said every single adult has failed her.

[witchywoohoo]

She's a child. Phone the police.

[venusinscorpio]

OP, please call the duty team at the children's social services department of your local authority. They will investigate the school and get the police involved if necessary as this is a serious safeguarding issue. If not satisfactory, make a complaint and keep complaining. You can make the initial report anonymously.

[dillyduck]

Ofsted, all the way. This is a safeguarding concern.

Ofsted do not handle complaints in this way. They will refer you back to the body with statutory powers. In both schools and academies that is the LA for safeguarding and in addition the EFA for academies. They will also say that you should go through the school complaint policy. They may contact the LA and asks them to investigate. It will be weeks if not months before you even get an acknowledgement from Ofsted.

[Dilligaf81]

So a 15 year old was sexually assaulted on a school bus with teachers presenting the school haven't called the police ? Surely they have to as they have been Made aware of it and suspended the boys which they wouldn't do on a whim.
Ur poor niece, report it you know it's the tight hinges of do and these boys obviously think they have got away with it,Christmas knows what they will do next.
A video of it is horrific but it is evidence so even if everyone else says it didn't happen and your niece is scared of not being believed there is evidence.

[AristotlesTrousers]

What an awful position for you to be in, OP. I can't believe your neice's parents are letting her decide when she's fifteen!

I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was a school friend over twenty years ago, and the rape culture was such that I was never able to even tell anyone, and it was brushed under the carpet by my teachers and the school (and sadly my parents too) well before it got to the out-in-the-open point, like your neice's. I had to endure a whole year of ostracisation and finger-pointing from my peers. Even twenty years later, I still get PTSD-like symptoms - and that is definitely something else that your niece may have to endure,

When it happened to me, I had no evidence, and nobody on my side.

Your situation is worrying, because the evidence exists now, and there is so much that the police could do.

I think that speaking to the NSPCC is a good idea, and I hope they will be able to give you good advice. I echo the others though - I think I would go to any and every authority I could, because one day, when your niece is older, she is going to be so fucked up about this, and wonder why nobody took charge of this.

[Pollyanna9]

What I CANNOT understand is why people treat the incident differently because a. it's a teenager and b. it happened in school!

What the hell is wrong with people? This girl has been assaulted - it's a CRIME.

When a crime is committed you go to the POLICE for God's sake! These kids need charging and a full criminal case building, the little shits.