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Original poster

My son shat by the footpath.

253 replies

LumpyMcBentface · 23/09/2016 20:18

He said he was going for a wee, on our twenty minute walk home from school. He went behind a bush next to the footpath. When I went to pull his trousers up the evidence was there to see (and smell). He proclaimed innocence to start with and then giggled uncontrollably all the way home.

I usually have poo bags with me but I'd left the dog at home and hadn't considered I'd need them for walking a five year old. So I had to leave it.

We scarpered down the path and I think we got away with it, but I am mortified.

Should I have gone back to clean it up? I considered it but then, erm, didn't. I'm now feeling a bit guilty.

How bad is this? Please tell me your children are as gross as mine!

OP posts:
WankingMonkey · 24/09/2016 15:46

I don't really get the disgust in here tbh. Small children sometimes shit when they think they need a piss. My daughter was adamant she wanted a wee yesterday and when I took her to the loo she did a gigantic poo (honestly, not sure how it fit out of her, was at least half her size) so no, this does not make the child disgusting..pretty sure its common.

However, if she had shat on a footpath I would have found some way of picking it up as I wouldn't want others to stand in it, even if this meant going back to the 'scene of the crime' to clean up the evidence and hoping that there were no pooey footprints leading away from it in the meantime. Behind a bush, not too sure tbh as people are unlikely to walk right next to a bush thats behind a footpath. I would still be mortified it happened 'in public' though. And if it was more than a one off accident would be having stern words.

WankingMonkey · 24/09/2016 15:47

I don't really get the disgust in here tbh. Small children sometimes shit when they think they need a piss. My daughter was adamant she wanted a wee yesterday and when I took her to the loo she did a gigantic poo (honestly, not sure how it fit out of her, was at least half her size) so no, this does not make the child disgusting..pretty sure its common.

However, if she had shat on a footpath I would have found some way of picking it up as I wouldn't want others to stand in it, even if this meant going back to the 'scene of the crime' to clean up the evidence and hoping that there were no pooey footprints leading away from it in the meantime. Behind a bush, not too sure tbh as people are unlikely to walk right next to a bush thats behind a footpath. I would still be mortified it happened 'in public' though. And if it was more than a one off accident would be having stern words.

WankingMonkey · 24/09/2016 15:55

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/182359-memorable-poos-in-inappropriate-places

Also this thread may make you feel better. I laughed nearly all of the way through it. Fuck pearl clutchers tbh

HerFaceIsAMapOfTheWorld · 24/09/2016 16:04

Op you should of went back that is SUPER gross! I feel sorry for the person who finds that

liz70 · 24/09/2016 16:16

DD3 once told me she needed a wee when we were in the park, and that she couldn't hold on until we got home 🏠 (she was 5 at the time). I took her into some bushes where she not only wee-ed but had liquid diarrhoea as well, which I really don't think she was expecting. I just had to clean her with tissues, cover the mess with leaves, bin the tissue and get home 🏠 to wash my hands.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 24/09/2016 16:45

Why can't you go back and pick it up / put in dog poo bin? Shit happens but you should pick up after your kids / pets I'd say.

Original poster
LumpyMcBentface · 24/09/2016 16:48

I don't think I'd be able to find it. As I said, it's a long path and I'd kicked some leaves over it. I was a bit flustered so didn't really note the surroundings.

OP posts:
CrazyNameCrazyGuy · 24/09/2016 16:51

I wouldn't worry Lumpy. Judging by the amount of shit-eating pets mentioned on this thread it would have been breakfast or lunch for some minging pooch by now.

GinAndOnIt · 24/09/2016 17:11

God. If people think this is gross, I daren't ever mention some of the poo incidents I've have with GinDog recently.

WankingMonkey · 24/09/2016 17:11

Ugh shit eating dogs, I had forgotten this part of having a dog. We had a dog and a cat and anytime the cat used the littertray the dog was right behind her eating it the second she moved Sad

Never had any experience with human poo eating mind because dog never had the opportunity but I imagine she would have seen it as a delicacy as much as cat poop was

She did once lick up cat vomit though. I couldn't bear to be anywhere near her for a week after that as I couldn't get it out of my head (I have emetophobia)

HoneyDragon · 24/09/2016 17:53

Soupy Grin

I was so cross about this regular posters thing popping up yet again, I inadvertently praised your bowel movements.

Basicbrown · 24/09/2016 22:07

My big dog does a poo that could pass as one of DH's can't believe what I'm writing here.

Grin that just made me spit my tea

MissKatieVictoria · 24/09/2016 22:31

When i was two i managed to shit into my aunties pocket, fun times.
Honestly, if it is somewhere people aren't likely to accidentally stand in it, and it means walking a good while to get there and back, it won't hurt to leave it this once.

CrazyNameCrazyGuy · 24/09/2016 23:05

When i was two i managed to shit into my aunties pocket

Just 'dropping' this here ...

www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/14762948._It_was_humongous___Irish_shop_owners_hunt_man_who_did_a_poo_TWICE_near_their_front_doors/

WankingMonkey · 24/09/2016 23:07

My brother once purposely shat in my dads shoe when he was still in the potty training stage. My sister who was a fair few years older than him at the time 'dared' him to not thinking he would. If we are now talking about strange places to poo. I will always remember that, my brother doesn't but is reminded of it quite often Grin

CrazyNameCrazyGuy · 24/09/2016 23:07

^ from the above article:

""There was a load of toilet roll on the ground," Mr Buckley said.

"I couldn't understand it. There's no-one wipes their dog's arse. And it was humongous. And the smell of it. It nearly made me sick."

"I wouldn't mind but we're the cheapest around for toilet roll. We do 40 rolls of toilet paper for a tenner. We're famous for toilet rolls," he said.

Insisting he has not fallen out with any customers, Mr Buckley tried to make fun out of the incident by borrowing a toilet from a plumbers and piling up some of his stock of toilet rolls on the footpath beside his shop with the message: "We go that extra mile for our customers. Other shops couldn't give a shit."

Got to love the Irish sense of humour!

cocodidit1 · 25/09/2016 00:29

I wouldn't give it another thought, ......fuck it!

emjking · 25/09/2016 18:02

My daughter needed a poo on the beach at a similar age - luckily we had a carrier bag with us and there was a cave. 5 year olds and even older children can get caught short especially if they don't like doing a poo at school.
At the end of the day he needed to go - maybe have a bag with you in the future.

Maireadplastic · 25/09/2016 18:03

Couldn't you have buried it?

chazf09 · 25/09/2016 18:04

Omg this post has cheered me right up...when u gotta go u gotta go. Least it was behind a post n not on a door step or in his pants 😂

Suzannea1984 · 25/09/2016 18:16

Waiting in que to the toilet and my son couldn't wait any longer, without me noticing he pulled down him pants and just weed there in a busy area and not against a wall or nothing, I wouldn't have cleaned it up as it is biodegradable lol

flupi · 25/09/2016 18:26

Don't worry about it. What's done is done, obviously if you'd had the means to pick it up you would have.
What's more important is that many small ( and older ) children hate doing a poo at school - he could well have been desperate, so desperate he could have had an accident earlier at school which is not uncommon in the early years at school. May be worth chatting to him about how if he needs to go he needs to go and should go at school. The laughing uncontrollably on the way home strikes me as embarrassment ?

kazzieb10 · 25/09/2016 18:28

go back and clear it up. And tell him to go before leaving school or hang on until he gets home. Buts not the end of the world. People let their dogs do it and leave it and thats far worse IMO

mostlyslowly · 25/09/2016 18:30

Having worked outside all my life there have been occasions when its been necessary to 'yogi'. Make a hole, yogi, clean up, and scrape material back over the hole. Pas de problem. And I'm a bit more than 5.

Muddlingthroughtoo · 25/09/2016 18:36

Ah bless him, when you gotta go you gotta go. Tell him that having a sneaky wee is ok but he should try and make it to a toilet for a poop.
You haven't been embarrassed though until your 5 year old is stand up weeing into a very busy swimming lake in a French camp site. Wouldn't have been so bad except he shouted out "mammy said I could have a wee in the pool!"
I did, there was only one toilet and it was disgusting