This is SO outing but I'm bloody wound up and can't be arsed to name change and I don't bloody care.
Background. My little brother got a job in London recently. He's only young, just out of his teens, first time away from home, low salary initially (less than £15,000) like an internship but paid in an industry lots of young people want to get into. A friend of a friend of mine got him an interview.
He's my mum's last 'baby' as she calls it, my other brother and I are long gone. Other brother lived locally to her but is married and has a baby. (In fact I got out as soon as I could but that's another story)
We grew up on a very small town in a rural county and my mum has lived their all her life, after divorcing my dad is now with someone who has also lived there all their lives ( not judgement; context)
Little brother is now living with my partner and I in our tiny flat. He sleeps on the sofa that pulls out into a bed, you have to walk through the living area to get to the front door and kitchen, the only bathroom is an en suite so if he's at work early he has to come through our bed room to shower etc. I love having him around again but clearly it is a temporary solution. He's quite clueless with housework, needs help to change a duvet, put a wash on etc- trying to teach him as clearly my mother hadn't bothered.
Mum encouraged him taking the job, big boasts on Facebook etc etc. I said he could stay with us and start looking for places to live (houses-shares) she said she'd help him out with the deposit had my dad said he'd chip in too. So we were thinking he could start looking for somewhere straight away- but he's need the help- most places you need deposit and first months debt upfront obviously. My brother has enough money for tube travel while he's here until first paycheck but no more. So we're feeding him. I was happy to do that until mum said she actually had no money at all and couldn't help him so he'd have to just stay with us until whenever. He was already on the bus down at that point. Prior to this she'd been inundating me with houses he could live in, saying she'd help him out financially, then she found this 'co living' type place which is like a posh student halls for young professionals with a gym etc. Great, but it's a £1000 a month- ridiculous. Brother doesn't earn enough to qualify unless she's his guarantor, which surely can't happen. (He doesn't earn enough anyway to live on with that ludicrous rent but she's made whimsy flimsy noises about 'helping'.) She doesn't work, apart from the odd shift when she feels like it- this is not because she's well off, but because she fell out with her colleagues, took a year out funded by money from a house sale, dicked around doing lots of mini breaks and not a lot else and realised she didn't like working that much, and didn't go back. She works 8 hours a week. No (real) health problems. She's 53. Nothing to retire on. Her partner works all hours to support everything. My mum has taken out numerous loans and credit cards to appear wealthy to her friends and on Facebook- it's all smoke and mirrors.
So my brother is here, three and a half weeks in, job going really well, she's dripping bullshit in his ear about how he won't be happy in a house share, telling him these horror stories she's read online, so he should go into this living place. It's madness He won't be able to pay the rent, be isolated from any kind of social life as will have zero funds, and he'll have to move back home- call me cynical but I think that's what she's angling for.
She was also meant to contribute some food money to us- hasn't happened. My Dad has given us his share. We have outgoings and high rent and are feeling the squeeze. My brother being there isn't harming our relationship exactly, we all get on well, they bond a lot over the PlayStation etc, but Christ I miss just relaxing in peace and talking about the day with eachother just us. Not DTD much because I'm concious of my little brother sleeping just behind the door! No opportunity to have private conversations, just be silly with eachother, argue if we need to, you get the gist!
My mum's sole 'contribution' so far has been to send us a salami she got on holiday and a jar of pickle 
after saying she was going to send us 'some goodies'.
Anyway my mum and I have history- we have never got on- she has chipped and chipped away at me all my life and it sounds awful but I DREAM of going NC. There's history of what I think is munchausan by proxy, fabricated illness.... But that's only with me- shes totally different with my brothers, and part of that is because they 'behave' themselves by doing what she wants/holding her up as head matriarch.
So tell me to get a grip or I'm over thinking it but I cannot help but feel she's a) trying to put strain on my relationship by allowing this to happen in the first place without the financial support she promised
b) trying to sabotage my brother's long term future here by setting him up to tank it financially and have to come back home.
Caught between a rock and a hard place as he hates going against what she wants, and won't hear a bad word said against her. He can't see her manipulation.
Added to this, I've lived in London for five years. I KNOW it's daunting getting into a 'good' house share, making friends, working out your budget, sometimes eating toast until payday- for me these things were part of my early days here- WHY does she think she knows better?!!
Sorry if it's long/boring..,, I needed to vent. And it's too early for a glass of wine 