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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour issues - hedge problems!

209 replies

ijustdontknowanymore · 22/09/2016 23:11

I apologise in advance for what will probably be the most boring post of all time! Soo, long story short ..... Moved into our new house around 6 months ago, next door neighbours are very friendly and welcoming, and will often stop to chat over the fence etc. We hear a lot about the older gentleman who owned the house before us, and how the garden used to be immaculate and the pride of the street etc. To start with this was fine, but eventually it seemed that every time we spoke the fact that the garden used to be so wonderful was brought up, and by implication was no longer up to standard. I'm not a keen gardener by any means, but it's been kept (relatively) tidy, grass mown, occasionally weeds pulled, patio brushed etc, since we moved in. We're renovating so everything inside the house is very much the priority at the moment but the outside is fine by most standards.

So, the crux of the issue. At the bottom of our garden is a conifer hedge, which had grown to well over 8 feet by the time we'd moved in. I arranged for someone to come and cut it, and while it wasn't a pristine job, it was far better with 3ft off the height. The next door neighbour's gardener had also quoted for the work, and was over £200 more expensive which I really couldn't afford.

Following the hedge cut, NDN complained every time I was in the garden about what an 'awful' job had been done, how it was a real bodge, etc. He caught me off guard one day and asked if I wanted his gardener to sort it out - I was rushing and non-committedly said 'yes,maybe'. So she comes over that day and says it will take around four hours at £15 an hour, which I agreed to thinking it would help neighbourly relations given that NDN is obviously quite put out by the newly trimmed hedge. (I really didn't think it was that bad, nor did my keen gardener parents). Fast forward to today and she comes over with an invoice for £190!!! Saying it took much longer than expected to rectify the previous hedge cutter's shoddy work! I was away when the work was carried out so can't verify how long it took, but basically feel like I've been shafted. I wouldn't mind an extra couple of hours but feel this is extortionate, but am also in a catch 22 because I don't want to sour relations with the NDNs by disputing it. So more of a WWYD really? Pay or say it's unreasonable?

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MintyChops · 25/09/2016 18:04

OP you aren't pathetic, they are bastards and you, as a normal person, are unused to dealing with this sort of attempted swindling. I think a letter would be best with the sixty quid in and no more. A cheque not cash, so the gardener cannot pretend she didn't receive it. You have had some great suggestions for how to word the letter. You will feel strong if you do that. If you pay more it will piss you off in future.

If you feel unable to deal with this anymore then maybe your DH would be able to deal with it. That would also be a good outcome.

Phalenopsisgirl · 25/09/2016 18:25

What happened about this op? I hope you didn't send a post dated cheque and just paid the £60. My comment re 'not a lot of money' was based on issues re not wanting to appear mean. If, IF £190 is the amount you would happily spend on a bottle of wine and your house clearly reflects that then you do tend to get this type of thing a lot. If this was me/ us my dh wouldn't pay £190 he'd round it to £200 as a 'thank you' because when you 'have' you tend to feel you have to apologise for it and constantly defend against the 'rich on the backs of the little people' type comments. I completely get how you feel, I often get taken for a ride because I won't confront things, I'm really hoping you stuck up for yourself. You were completely right to do so.

ijustdontknowanymore · 25/09/2016 22:26

Thanks everyone for the supportive messages - they have really helped me to thicken my skin, man up and do the right thing! I have written the letter, and the cheque for £60, and will be posting it first thing in the morning! And I feel absolutely bloody fantastic for it!!!

And Phalen, it's definitely not a case of them thinking we can afford it, we're doing pretty well but our house/cars don't exactly reflect it :-)

Lady - I would LOVE to post a pic, but it's completely identifying so can't risk it (although tbf the whole story is pretty outing isn't it?)

OP posts:
ilovelamp82 · 25/09/2016 22:41

Good for you! Well done Smile

Phalenopsisgirl · 25/09/2016 22:50

Yay ! You go girl

MissPattie · 25/09/2016 22:50

Don't beat yourself up. And very very well done for writing.

Thinking about this, I work a lot with freelancers. If I comissioned someone to produce say, one A5 black and white illustration for £120, and they send me in a full A4 page in colour and charged me £500, I would not accept it.

RunnyRattata · 25/09/2016 22:53

Well done OP. You did good Grin

dowhatnow · 25/09/2016 23:16

Another one saying well done. Don't back down now.

TwigletsMakeMeViolent · 26/09/2016 00:39

Nice one OP!

PurpleWithRed · 26/09/2016 01:35

I'm SO pleased you've done it and even more pleased you feel fantastic about it! You've stood up for fairness and honesty. HaloWine Star

AgathaF · 26/09/2016 06:47

Brilliant!!!

Get that letter and cheque in the post first thing. I'm so glad you feel good for not giving in to them.

Rachel0Greep · 26/09/2016 08:16

Well done. Now stand firm. Just picture the two of then sniggering thinking they had got you to pay out just short of the £200.00 that was being demanded day one. This needed to be done, or who knows what future demands would be made. Keep reminding yourself that neighbour is probably well known for having their nose in other people's business (every street has one) and if you had given in on this, who knows what 'helpful' notions would be next.

Now enjoy your new home and to heck with the pair of them.

MiddleClassProblem · 26/09/2016 08:52

Brilliant OP!

MoonfaceAndSilky · 26/09/2016 09:47

Yay, well done Grin

wowfudge · 26/09/2016 10:35

OP - great that you've done that. Watch out for the cheque being paid in by the gardener. If it is then that is tantamount to acceptance of the £60. It may be sent back to you. Even if it is this person doesn't have a leg to stand on.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 26/09/2016 13:05

Well done you!

They are total pisstakers. I would have been reluctant to question the gardener in person too as I hate confrontation. So glad you are only paying the £60. DON'T let them try and bully you for the rest. Tell them the matter is done and you want them to leave you the fuck alone from now on.

MintyChops · 26/09/2016 13:49

Well done OP, you rock!!

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet · 26/09/2016 15:26

The gardener really can't claim to be entitled to charge more because of some work at the back of the hedge. If she thought work at the back might be needed, she should have checked beforehand and included it in her estimate. It sounds like it may well have been the neighbours who insisted she tidy it from their side, but if so, she should have checked with you first rather than complying with their demands and expecting you to pay,

NoSquirrels · 27/09/2016 09:16

Well done, OP. Don't take any moaning from them either. The gardener needs to learn important business lessons about quoting & getting extra work authorised.

IMissGrannyW: YMMV = your mileage may vary i.e. you may not wish to go as far/further.

Dontyouopenthattrapdoor · 27/09/2016 09:32

Please don't do this. Please.

I know you'll find it hard and stressful for the next few days but long term you will feel SO much better about yourself if you stand up to them.

Pay £60, for the work you agreed to.

Laiste · 27/09/2016 09:49

Well done OP :) Hope that's the end of it. Keep us posted x

I want to stand up for the poster queenliz and her flaming hot post.

Sometimes - in amongst more ... gentle advice - a damn good telling it straight is what you need. I've been guilty of being similar to the OP in this situation, and at times got twisted in knots over something. DH would be gentle (or want to sort it for me), wider family and friends would be gentle. BUT a certain great friend of mine is always able to cut to the chase and say 'man the fuck up and deal with it Laiste. Don't be a bloody pushover'.

And you know what? It's her advice which always rings in my ears when i need to be assertive day to day.

PterodactylToenails · 27/09/2016 10:00

No, I wouldn't pay it. I would also put up a large fence to stop the nosey neighbour talking to me.

LadyGardener2 · 28/09/2016 10:12

Did you send the letter OP? Any word back?

HazelBite · 29/09/2016 11:39

Any news/reaction OP?

ijustdontknowanymore · 29/09/2016 13:06

Not yet folks, will keep you posted!

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