To hate the thought of birthday parties

[speedymama]

DTS received a party invitation for a soon to be 3yo from the parents of a toddler in their class at nursery and my first instinct was to say no. I have never spoken to the parents and tbh, I can't be bothered with things like this.

DH says we should allow them to go, particularly as most of the toddlers will be attending, according to their key worker. So I have relented and they are going.

Am I the only modern parent who wants nothing to do with birthday parties? I did not have one when I was growing up and and do not feel deprived because of it. I have already told DH that there is no way I am going to be wasting money on hiring halls, entertainers etc for our DTS when they are older. If they want to have a party when they are older, then I'm prepared for them to invite a few close friends to the house (not the whole class - grrrr) and I will happily bake a cake, make a few sandwiches, provide a few nibbles and organise party games like pass the parcel. Oh, there will be no party bags.

Am I mean?

Do what you want but don't criticise others for wanting to give their child a party. My dd remembers her 3rd birthday and she loved it.

I'm with you OP...no "parties" here either.

One or two friends to tea , or for a trip to the cinema, but no big organised events. My kids haven't suffered for not having them,and still get invited to other's parties.

I hate the"Invite everyone" type and the "Mine's-More-Exciting-Than-Yours-Try-And-Outdo-Me" type.

Much better to have someone your child likes and plays nicely with and enjoy it,rather than a load of over-excited kids who are only there to get the party bag.

Lol at old thread
I was reading thinking I know hulababy & fennel have older kids than 3 & 8

Bet the op has had loads of parties since starting this thread !

Thanks Neo, good to know it can all work out in the end. DD is 8, also the youngest in her year- 31st August birthday.

They have a lonely bench at school- I think the idea is that if you haven't got anyone to play with you can sit on the bench and the other children will know and come and invite you to join their game, but DD refuses to sit on it because she says the one time she did she sat there until the end of play and no one noticed her :( The circle game thing sounds brilliant actually, wish they did that at DD's school. She is getting better I think, it's taking her a long time to settle in but she has been to a lot of schools in the past few years, so I'm trying to put it down to that and stay positive.

When DD first started she went to before school club, then after school either CM picked her up or I picked her up, took her to dancing/gym in a mad dash and went back to work, so I hoped assumed I was finding it difficult to mix in with the other mums because I wasn't there every pick up. However, I'm now halfway into a 3 month break from work, so doing all the drop offs and pick ups and not finding it any easier, I do feel guilty that I'm not succeeding in getting in with the other mums to push DD together with theirs. It's not a great balance in the class either- 31 of them, 23 boys to 8 girls ( I think this is fairly rotten luck, but I could be wrong!) Good point about asking the teacher, thank you.

I will happily take my children to any birthday party they are invited to, except indoor soft play. Norovirus included with every party bag, no doubt about that. Filthy hellholes.

I used to do the small parties at home thing, until DD got old enough to take a mate or two out to the cinema/theatre etc.
Now DS is old enough for parties, I really, really can't face the upheaval of holding them at home. He had a whole class party this year (£75 plus grub for 25 kids) and I'm working on going very, very small next year (maybe a zoo trip with a couple of friends).

God - I completely agree with you. I think you are lucky to get to three! It started with DS's little friends (OK - my friend's kids) at 2 and I hated them.

DS did not get a party at 2 and won't be getting one at 3 either and still has no concept of age/birthday. He will get to go to legoland for his birthday but I accept that is all about me and I am planning to go with this type of trade off/bribery/guilt reliever for as long as I can.

Parties suck especially for anyone under the legal drinking age of 7 and I can live without them for many a year.

DS1 had his first party when he was 4. We didn't feel he really needed to have one before that, but around that age most children were having one. The size is of course variable, although class parties aren't unusual until they are a bit older. Hire a hall, some music, games, party food. 1.5h tops and it's over for another year. Once they get older it's more of a few friends to the cinema type of thing which is easier to manage.

Most children in DS's nursery class are having parties and I like to go to meet the other parents as much as anything. There are some I wouldn't meet at any other time as I don't see them at drop off/pick up and it's nice to put a parent to the child iyswim.

You might get away with next year, but not their 5th.

I LOVE giving parties! Every year since nursery we have thrown an Easter Egg Hunt, a birthday party and a Halloween party. The whole class gets invited to the Easter & Halloween parties, and about 2/3 of the class to the birthday party. I really enjoy seeing the pure delight that hunting for eggs or jumping on a bouncy castle gives to the kids.

Even though I work and have 5 children (four stepchildren and my own DD) I adore theming the parties, ordering special things for the party bags and finding fun venues.

The parties are hugely anticipated, enjoyed and remembered by the kids - what's so hard about it?

Isn't it a bit odd to write off doing fun things because they won't be remembered? Can't the DCs enjoy the moment? I totally get you not wanting to throw a big party of your own but not wanting them to attend someone else's is a little excessive IMO

speedymama, i too am not a fan of parties and was hoping to get away with not having one until school, but DD started talking about them a few months before 4yo, and she'd been to a few by then, so we had one for her. She loved it and still goes on about it now. I do agree with the if they don't know what the big deal is, then there's no need. DS or DD didn't have a 3rd bday party. We just did something on their own, but they both LOVE going to parties.

meh. It is easy to have principles about these things when your first DC are still small.

As they grow older and they see what everyone else is doing, they might just enjoy it and want to do the same.

When my eldest was a toddler, I used to think sending Christmas cards to all his nursery buddies was a waste of time and effort. But all my kids love both giving and receiving cards so I let them do it now.

And yes, I am having a party for my almost 3yo DC3. In the garden at home and I'll be organising the games and food. There will be for the adults to make the surfeit of small children more bearable, and IT WILL BE SUNNY and DS will have a wonderful time.

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

Sorry, I have no idea how I posted that 4 times.

Fine to celebrate your kid's birthday how you want, but bitching about how other people want to celebrate their children's birthday is pretty miserable.