7 year age gap, or no 2nd child?

[Blingtastic16]

Of course, I don't know if/when I'll conceive. However, didn't have any problems making DS! He is now 6. He'll be 7 by the time a new child came along (minimum) and when he starts secondary, they'll be starting primary...

We have a great bond. I've always wanted 2/3 children. I think having a 3rd won't happen. I'm 36. I've always been keen on a bigger age gap, so we decided to leave it, but when DS started school, we were just so happy, we didn't feel like we were missing something, or even fancied having a second child (I know that sounds like an awful term!) we had planned 4 years.

Now he has gone into Yr 2, I just feel ready, DH feels ready. We have an extra room (not that I would have minded them sharing, but because it's a biggish gap, I would want DS to lose something he has) and stable jobs, etc.

Is 7 years too much of a gap?

theres no guarantee your children will get on, or not, regardless of age gap. There's 3 years between mine and they get on like a house on fire, my friend has the same aged children with the same gap and they hate each other. My SIL has 8 years between her two and they also get on brilliantly...who knows, if you want a 2nd child then go for it

I have 7 1/2 years between my 2 surviving DCs. DD never met her sister, though. And, to the outside world... I have a large gap between the kids.

However, they could not be closer. DS helps DD get into mischief, she worships the ground he walks on. So... while they may go through stages far apart (which can be a blessing) distance in age doesn't mean emotional distance.

However... it does get irritating when people feel the need to comment about the gap. While I do talk about DD1, I don't make a habit of injecting it into light conversation. I also have a DNiece who lives with us - she is essentially a daughter to me, so in my "kid count", she is included.

I was at a banquet on Monday. 9 people at our table - 6 I know well, 1 I know in passing, and the last I met that evening. We all coach Special Olympics, and most of us also have athletes in the family.

So... she asked "how old are your kids?" I tell her "20 (DNiece), 18 and 10." She looks at me and blurts out "wow, what happened?".

The 6 at the table who know me (including DH) suddenly got uncomfortably silent. One of my friends answered "there used to be one in the gap" and changed the topic.

Sometimes gap isn't really a gap at all...

I have a 4 week old plus a 6 1/2 year old, 8 year old and 10 year old. They all adore the baby! He has bought new life and a new dimension into our family. We are all looking forward to first smiles/laughs ect.. Best decision ever to have him! His arrival as made my 10 year old (especially) so happy. She absolutely treasured cuddles with her tiny brother. I don't think giving your child a sibling is something you will ever regret. It just adds more to both their childhoods imo

I have 9 years between my boys and 7 years between the middle and youngest. They have all always been the best of mates. Despite the age gap they have children Of the same ages.

I have 3 siblings and am closest to the eldest who is ten years older than I am.

There is 5 years between me and my sister we fought like cat and dog when we where growing up but we get on better now she is 31 and am 26.

There is nearly exactly 7 years between my two boys and they have the most wonderful relationship (now 9 and 2). My 9 year old is very soft hearted where as my 2 years old is very independent and rough and tumble so they bring out a really lovely side to each other also.

Have a similar gap and they love each other so so much!

When they are 22 & 29 or 32 & 39 etc it makes no bloody difference

There's 8 years between me and my sister closest in age to me (foster sisters) and I love her to bits, she was like a second mum to me growing up but we were always in different stages and I think for her I was the annoying little sister. The other 2 were 10 and 13 years older and I don't remember them from childhood at all though I do love them now and my oldest sister is guardian to our kids should anything happen to us

I have a 9 gap between DS and DD and on the whole agree with Marythecanary post above. They are fairly close and DS was over the moon when we had DD but I think the later teenage years meant outside interests, mates and general 'holing up' in his bedroom for 4 years 😁 meant they essentially haven't had much to do with each other lol however DS is now nearly 19 and they have grown much closer over the last few years and he's gone off to Uni today and DD is already missing him and says she is sad.

In some ways I feel they have both been 'only' children even though I know they aren't but a 15 year old isn't going to like the same days out that a 6 year old will etc plus DS hasn't come on holiday with us for a couple of years.

Its sometimes challenging but it is what it is - I ideally wanted a 4 year gap between them but secondary infertility put paid to that. We got to a 7 year gap and gave up, just being grateful we had DS but then somehow miraculously got pregnant with DD and we started the rollercoaster of a baby and toddler all over again!

I wouldn't change anything though and a bigger age gap has been very useful for babysitting we were lamenting today that we've lost that now he's gone to uni!

Almost 7 year gap between my DC (not out of choice - secondary infertility is a bitch) and it's absolutely fine. The 7 year old loves the bones of the 7 month old and, in turn, is baby's favourite person. Older DC frequently comments on how nice it is to have a sibling now to keep them company.

I'm very close to my sister who is 7 years older than me.

I know this is a zombie thread but I found it useful so bumping in case it helps anyone else.

There’s 6 years difference between me and one DB, and 8 years with the other. We get on great, growing up I got on more with the 6 year age gap DB, but I think that was just down to personalities. Always nice to have an older sibling to help you out, I love my big brothers

Why not 2 more? One now, one in a couple of years? If that's what you want, no reason not to try for it.

Hah, ZOMBIE THREAD.

Though, OP, if you're still around, I'd love to know what happened...

my sister is 9 years older than me and I love her to bits

7 year between me and db. we get on great. even though he's younger than me he still acts like a "big brother" and is very protective of me which is nice

@Blingtastic16 did you decide?

Sorry to resurrect old thread but I'm in a similar position and looking for advice

I know someone who is 16 years younger than they're siblings and they have a lovely relationship.

^their

There are 6 years between my 2 and at the moment I love it! I loved the starting again and the baby stage and my almost 7 year old is amazing with her sister. We make sure the eldest still gets lots of attention and trips out to places she wants.
It may get harder as they get older and who knows how close they will be but I say go for it!

Six year age gap between my brother and I. We have never been close, not one bit. When he was born I completely loathed him, I was jealous and bitter. I remember hating how much attention he got and wanted him to disappear. It was tough after six years of being an only child. We’re not remotely close now either. We never went to school together and I left home when he was still quite young as well.

Having said that, there’s a six year age gap between my third and fourth children and DC3 absolutely adores her baby brother. No bitterness or jealousy whatsoever, she thinks he’s adorable. I do wonder if the difference is the fact my DC’s don’t remember a life without siblings though. I had my first three very close together.

Interesting to hear different views as I'm in same position