7 year age gap, or no 2nd child?

[Blingtastic16]

Of course, I don't know if/when I'll conceive. However, didn't have any problems making DS! He is now 6. He'll be 7 by the time a new child came along (minimum) and when he starts secondary, they'll be starting primary...

We have a great bond. I've always wanted 2/3 children. I think having a 3rd won't happen. I'm 36. I've always been keen on a bigger age gap, so we decided to leave it, but when DS started school, we were just so happy, we didn't feel like we were missing something, or even fancied having a second child (I know that sounds like an awful term!) we had planned 4 years.

Now he has gone into Yr 2, I just feel ready, DH feels ready. We have an extra room (not that I would have minded them sharing, but because it's a biggish gap, I would want DS to lose something he has) and stable jobs, etc.

Is 7 years too much of a gap?

I have a 7 year age gap , it's really tricky I won't lie but on the other hand they have both had my undivided attention when they were ore school. Days out are the worst .. no on is ever happy .

I have 7 years between mine.

The youngest is now 5. It wa a difficult when he was a toddler to find stuff they both could enjoy.

But my dbro has had 2 close together and found other boys harder. After talking we felt neither gap was 'better', just different. Both had positives and negatives.

Apart from that it's been great. They are really close. I often get up in a morning to find the younger one has got in the older ones bed during the night. They are really good friends. The oldest always loved helping with the youngest.

I have never regretted our age gap. It totally works for us.

I have ds1 aged 8 and ds2 aged 6 and dc3 is due in May so there'll be a 7 year gap between ds2 and the new baby.

I've experienced a small gap and whilst it's lovely now, I remember those early years with a baby and toddler all too well. I'm looking forward to a 7 year gap - both dc will be in school meaning I can spend time with the baby without feeling guilty that i'm ignoring the toddler. We do a lot of outdoorsy things anyway so the older dc will be able to ride their bikes around the park whilst the baby is pushed or walks. We go on a lot of hefty walks and the baby will come in the backcarrier (after a few months) and so on.

There are 7 years between me & my brother. Was mainly fine growing up, and fine now. We are at different stages in life, I was a Mum while he was still a student etc and while not super close we get on fine and would always help each other out etc. I have a 6.5 year age gap between my two and again, so far so good. My eldest adores her baby sister. I don't think there is a right or wrong age gap-they all come with their own pros and cons list and what suits some won't suit others. If a larger age gap suits you guys - go for it!

My sister has a 9 year gap. Much easier than my 16 month gap!

8 years between my youngest 2DC, and I have been really surprised/pleased by what a good relationship they have - they play happily together etc. Someone asked DS the other day what he thought of his little sister and he said "she's the light of my world" #sob

7 years between me and my DSis here!

I enjoyed helping out with the baby, doing her hair as she got older, sometimes played dress ups and barbie with her up until I was 14/15 because she begged me. Once I hit 14 or so I babysat her too (and made money babysitting all her friends).

I went off to uni but came back at 21. By the time she went to uni I was expecting DS. We were a bit shaky in the years between when I came back and when she left (as she'd got used to me not being around) but after DS was born she's been a very involved auntie and they love the bones of each other. We're much closer again now although we don't see each other too often as she's a bit of a workaholic!

If you and DH want to I say go for it!

My DS is 9 and has wanted a sibling for years, but as I'm single now if it happens he'll be a much older brother. He's still pretty keen though and says it would be awesome to be a 'really big brother'.

There is a nine year gap between my two sons (not through choice) but they love each other and because there was such a big gap there was never really any arguing or sibling rivalry (other than the youngest is now taller than the oldest!)

Well mine are 13, 8 and 2 months and it's fine. I would have struggled with having the older 2 close together as DS1 was a difficult baby and toddler and I couldn't face having another until he'd been safely dispatched to school! I'd never planned to have more than 2 so the latest addition was a 'surprise' and initially I was overwhelmed by the thought of the age gaps (and the thought of night feeds and nappies after leaving it all behind) but now she's here I'm really enjoying revisiting it all with the benefit of experience.
There are issues along the way with finding age appropriate activities for multiple ages ; cinema trips can be difficult for example but the plus side , I think, is that it forces me to treat my children as individuals and to recognise their individual needs rather than taking a one size fits all approach. I've also been lucky in that we have enough bedrooms that they've never had to share.
It sounds to me like the time is right for you so go for it.

There's a 7 year gap between my DD (now 16) and DS (now 9). DD was very excited about having a brother and is like a 2nd mum to him. They do argue but it's not bad and they always make up at the end of the day. I prefer having a bigger age gap

Used to go to a local parent/child group when DD was tiny. In the school hols There was a pregnant woman who came along with her 7 year old, and left early to meet her 14 year old from school.

I've had both a big and a small age gap between my 3dc. Big gap is so much easier!
It's lovely seeing the close-in-age two play together, but I dread the time I'm going to need two lots of secondary-school age uniforms and clubs and trips etc.

The two with the big age gap were really close before littlest came along.

There's 23 years between me and my youngest brother and we're best friends. The three year gap between me and my other sibling didn't make us close. We hated each other.

18 year gap between mine...none in between ... and all going great. Go for it ☺

9 year gap between my two and is been amazing..not by choice (secondary infertility ) but they're so close and of course bicker and tease like any other siblings.
My sister and I are 2 year apart and we don't speak.

It will be fine. My db 9 years older than me. We got on and still do get on perfectly

My DCs will be 26, 22, 14, 12, and 10 after all their birthdays this year.
Technically my pfb could be my youngest son's father

My DSis is 7.5 years younger than me. We fought a bit when she was a toddler then I went through a phase where she simply didn't impinge on my world at all (I was doing O-levels then at Uni), but now we are adults I think she is awesome and am delighted to be her sister.

There is a 7 year age gap between Dsis and I, she is my best friend, we talk everyday, when I'm home from working in London we spend a ton of time together. When I was younger she loved being a big sister, then as I got older I became a friend... there is a 9 year age gap between Db and I... we also get along brilliantly, no issues whatsoever. YANBU, it's a great learning curb for kids to have an older sibling, and vice Versa for the older sibling!

I have 11 years between my two DS's youngest was born on the day the oldest started secondary school. It was like having two only children, my youngest has ASN's and I don't know how we would have coped if they were closer in age, we never expected the oldest to babysit his brother. They were not close growing up but are very close now, late teens / late twenties. I am NC with my younger sister ( 3 years younger) and we were never close even when young.

There are sibling differences to consider at any age gap, whether they are twins or twenty years apart! I would go for it, OP. You sound ready for a new addition to your family and prepared to make it work (biggest shock to the system will probably be the lack of sleep, again).

Good luck.

Go for it.

My dh has brothers who are 1 year, 2 years, 12 years and 15 years apart from him.

He is closest to the one next to him and the one 12 years apart. The one who is just a year younger is really close to the youngest.

7 years are nothing.

There's 7 years between me and my older brother and 7 years between me and my younger sister - we are all incredibly close despite the age gap (in would even go so far as to say my brother and sister, despite the 14 year age gap have a closer bond than me and my sister) - go for it!

I definitely echo what others have said here. My DP has a sister who is 11 years older than him and they have almost always gotten along according to themselves and their mum. My brother and I, have 27 months between us and until I was about 18/19 we either hated the sight of each other, or were the best of friends, and by god it must have been challenging for our parents!

Disadvantages of a big gap:

1. You have more years of doing "little kid" things. If for career and personal reasons you kind of want to get those things "over and done with" (not everyone loves the early years) then this is spinning the whole thing out longer.

1. They won't like the same things, a lot of the time. This means you have to plan outings and holidays with a lot more care, and some options will be hard to do and will have to be ruled out. Or you will sometimes have to split up and one parent will have to go with each child for certain things.

1. They will have periods of being "more or less" an only child--the first 7 or so years for the first one, and also from age 7 or so onwards for the second, because the older one will be off doing their own clubs and teenage activities. Being an only child does not harm children, but it means that parents have to put effort into interacting with them more, arranging more trips and playdates etc.

Advantages of having a big gap are:

1. You have more years of doing "little kid" things. Many people get great enjoyment out of these years and have no desire to "get it all over with."

1. They won't like the same things, a lot of the time. This means you get a LOT less fighting and arguing in the house (they probably won't often fight for your attention, and are unlikely to squabble over desired toys or unauthorized clothes-borrowing). Generally speaking, the bigger the gap the more serene the relationship is during childhood, IME. They take on different roles, and the older one can actually provide genuine help with the youngest one.

1. They will have periods of being "more or less" an only child--the first 7 or so years for the first one, and also from age 7 or so onwards for the second, because the older one will be off doing their own clubs and teenage activities. This means that parents have the opportunity to enjoy having lots of peaceful one-on-one time with their child, doing more educational stuff with them and so on.

Notice how the advantages and disadvantages are basically the same things--it is about your values and the perspective you bring to things. Personally I think you should go for it, but it's up to you! Think about what kind of family life you enjoy.