"He's just your boyfriend"

[StrongerThanIThought76]

Been with my partner for 7 years, we live separately but within streets of each other, I have 2 kids full time, he has 2 kids 50/50.

This summer I turned 40 and my dad paid for us both to go to New York for 4 nights, on top of a huge family trip to Florida at Easter (but my partner didn't come as he had kids, work commitments etc).

My mum is very bitter about her divorce 30 years ago and was not interested in our holiday to Florida, and when i started to tell her about our recent adventure she got arsey and declared that she couldn't understand why my dad would pay for my partner as he's only my "boyfriend".

We've been together (apart from a painful break for about 9 months) for 7 years, longer than my brother has known his wife, who went to Florida, for 2 weeks, all expenses paid.

I'm livid. Because we're not married she thinks it's not a proper relationship; after being EA by my ex husband I can confirm that it is by far the best relationship I've been in, and she's really down on him constantly.

She's hosting Christmas this year, I'm really wanting to cancel and do something alternative with my partner and kids.

AIBU? I don't want to get married (yet), and I want to drag her into the 21st century!

Call your relationship whatever you like, but I think she was probably just reacting to you going on about the holiday and it was her way of trying to get you to shut up.

There's a time and place for discussions. You don't go on about your holiday to someone who is trying to figure out how to buy bread and milk that week. You don't go on about your new house to someone who is getting evicted. You don't go on about your pregnancy to someone who has just had a miscarriage. Be a bit sensitive and choose your audience.

If she's always on a downer about him then why would you want to go there for Christmas anyway? Why would he even?

You can't convince her and I wouldn't waste breath trying.

You started off by pressing her buttons talking about your amazing holiday with your DF. You know she isn't over their divorce (yes she should be, but that's irrelevant), yet you persist in banging on about something that upsets her. It's really not a suprise that she's then brought up a subject she knows upsets you. You hurt her, she says something hurtful back. It's childish, but then people who are hurt do childish things, like refusing to go to someone's house for Christmas because they called someone a boyfriend and not a partner...