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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave baby in pushchair, at the side of the pool, while I go swimming?

220 replies

Zootopia · 22/09/2016 16:05

Hi, not sure if this would be unreasonable or not.

I have a son who has swimming lessons. It's at a country club, so you need a membership card to even have any kind of access to the pool and it's pretty small in there. Just some nice seating around the sides. I have a newborn baby who I'd rather not take swimming when DS is there as I like to focus on just him in the water (he is 3) and he is encouraged not to use floats, as he can swim underwater, but we're just getting him to do it on top, so not an option for the time being. Also, I'd just rather wait until I do baby classes.

Would I be unreasonable to leave baby in pushchair (asleep) while I go into the pool with DS? It's not mother and toddler classes, it's just him and a couple of other children but I can still use the swim lanes and would be nice to swim. Also, he likes to have a free swim before lessons start.

Thanks Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Zootopia · 23/09/2016 00:23

You clearly don't understand how small the pool is. I'll always be looking at the car seat!

Also, I can't bring a friend. You need to be a member of the club to have access.

She isn't old enough for the crèche. My son will have 4 weeks of swimming before she is, so I'll just be sitting with her at the side anyway. I'll be a few steps away from her! But thanks for your parenting advice on how difficult having 2 is Hmm I do know...

OP posts:
Superstar90 · 23/09/2016 00:26

And to Enid - it's not a stupid comment - we can all be the type of parent we want and all have different views. I just don't think it's reasonable to leave a newborn unattended by the side of s pool in s public place just because it's mother fancied a swim. Sort out proper childcare or wait until you can use crèche.

Original poster
Zootopia · 23/09/2016 00:26

She obviously wouldn't be unattended Hmm I'm right there.

OP posts:
Superstar90 · 23/09/2016 00:28

Op - you asked for advice/views yet you don't want to hear them.
Your baby is clearly very newborn then if she's under 4 weeks!
I'm talking about life changing as I've just had my second too. You simply have to readjust again - I think you're trying to do too much too soon. Just being honest.

Original poster
Zootopia · 23/09/2016 00:29

Yes, I am aware of having 2 children...

OP posts:
lalalalyra · 23/09/2016 00:36

The pool near us has a session that allows you to leave the baby in a car seat by the side (no pram though) so places obviously do it.

Wouldn't wirk for me time wise. By the time I drove there, swam, dried and changed and drove back she'd be in her car seat for way over 2 hours (some of it in the heat poolside) so I'm not comfortable with it (school/nursery pick ups don't allow time to get her out for a while before drive home).

It's obviously a thing done pools do. This one is strict that it can only be done in that session though.

mathanxiety · 23/09/2016 01:02

How are you going to swim anyway, if you have a baby under 4 weeks?

Are you not still bleeding?

Stay home for a few weeks. Take walks to the park with your DS and the baby. When you've recovered and the baby is old enough for the creche then you can attempt the swimming. It won't make any difference to your DS not to swim for a few weeks.

Original poster
Zootopia · 23/09/2016 01:04

No, I'm not still bleeding Smile

OP posts:
Strokethefurrywall · 23/09/2016 01:05

Jesus Christ, it's a wonder how some people make it out the door most days what with all the apparently terrifying risks to consider.

OP your fine, you go ahead and enjoy your swim. You baby won't spontaneously burst into flames, her car seat won't suddenly find itself at the bottom of the deep end and your 3 year old who could previously swim quite well won't find himself drowning whilst his swim teacher ignores him.

You don't even need to worry about it.

GingerbreadLatteToGo · 23/09/2016 01:35

Johnny5isAlive - It's nothing to do with the needs of the other child gingerbread OP is not leaving the newborn unattended to spend time with older DC, but for herself to do lane swimming. Totally different

Which part of he like to do some free swimming before the class do you not get? I did also say for HER to swim. Shouldn't she do anytging for herself for the rest for her life now she's a mum? FFS

avamiah Gingerbread, Yes,i did read the post

Really!? You read the WHOLE THREAD?! Lots of people clearly stated they DO THIS so your post saying it wasn't possible to do it anywhere made it seem like you hadn't actually read the thread. Hmm

Superstar90
Please give your newborn the time and attention she deserves

For the love of fuck, what do you want her to do with a sleeping baby, watch it's every breath?

This thread is seriously giving me the rage. So much stupidity in one place.

Strokethefurrywall · 23/09/2016 02:08

*You're not your (pedant)

WanderingTrolley1 · 23/09/2016 02:17

Yabu.

couldntlovethebearmore · 23/09/2016 02:32

I'm shocked how many people are advocating leaving an unattended 4 week old in a car seat in a possibly humid environment. Babies should never be left to sleep in car seats when not in the car the risk of SIDS is much higher when they head can fall forward and oclude their airway. But hey, as long as you get your swim

couldntlovethebearmore · 23/09/2016 02:33

Gingerbread same but for different reasons. Yes she can still have a life but this isn't in her new babies best interest

sycamore54321 · 23/09/2016 02:47

I wouldn't buy I just wanted to say that if you do go ahead, please please make sure you use something other than the pushchair you mention in the OP - something without wheels like a bassinet or bouncy chair. A pushchair near water sounds like an uncalled for risk - brakes can fail or get knocked off etc and it could roll. If you choose to do this, at least do what you can to minimise the risks.

I don't mean to cause offence but are you coping ok? It seems that your reactions are unusually belligerent and aggressive over the fairly common view that the best thing to do would be to wait the few days/weeks til your child is old enough for the crèche facility. Most people would consider even bringing your older child out to his class at a couple of weeks post-partum a bit of a challenge yet you seem to expect that you can push yourself much further and add on your own swim time as well, with all the extra hassle of getting changed etc yourself and then also supervise the newborn. It reads like you have extraordinarily high or demanding expectations for yourself at this time. Is everything else alright?

SilverShins · 23/09/2016 03:01

Sounds like a really good idea OP. I hope you get the go ahead from the club.

I certainly don't think you're being selfish at all. Or being defensive or showing signs of pnd Wink

ChickenSalad · 23/09/2016 03:07

I think if the club is all right with it, and you are all right with it, then you don't need the MN AIBU seal of approval. The carrycot option sounds better than the pushchair one though.

selsigfach · 23/09/2016 06:32

I was encouraged by the lifeguard to leave my baby by the side of the small pool in her car seat so that I could have a swim. I stopped every minute to check on her and it was bliss having 20 minutes once a week where I felt like the old me instead of just 'mummy', permanently attached to breastfeeding baby. If you and the pool staff are happy, go for it. You won't be able to do it once they're a toddler. (Bitter!)

TheFullMinty · 23/09/2016 06:34

I don't really get why people ask questions here and then kick off when they don't get the answer they want. OP you're clearly just going to listen to the people telling you what you want to hear. Strangely enough the people pointing out risk aren't here to make you feel shit. If the pool is so tiny/there is no risk as far as you're concerned/you can do what you damn well like then why come here and ask? Im guessing deep down you suspect it's a bollocks idea.

kittymamma · 23/09/2016 06:45

You still need to check with your doctor. I was told by mine (I love to swim and had a swimming membership) that I was not allowed to swim until I had my 6 week check. I had our swimming stuff with us when I went to that appointment and went straight after.

Anyway... I actually do think you are being unreasonable. You may not be that far away but you are in a public place (members only or not). I also think you are being rather rude to those who are just making an observation.

sashh · 23/09/2016 06:46

I've been to a swimming pool where there were a few babies in car seats at the side of the pool.

Stellar67 · 23/09/2016 06:55

Lochea doesn't normally stop for a least 3-4 weeks, so I would wait till all that's gone personally. Just to prevent possible infection. Which you do it want with two small children.

Then baby can go in crèche. Our pool certainly would not allow a baby at poolside.

SeasonalVag · 23/09/2016 07:01

It's a ridiculous idea. The humidity, the fact you won't be able to hear properly, the idea of leaving an unattended child near water leaves me cold no matter how secure they might be.

BastardGoDarkly · 23/09/2016 07:01

I'm glad you've asked them OP, sounds absolutely fine to me, given the circumstances you describe 😊

And to all the pearl clutchers who... 'can't believe you had to ask' well, she did, and there are differing opinions, who knew people could think differently eh? Shock

BastardGoDarkly · 23/09/2016 07:04

couldn't

*The baby's not unattended

*It's a carrycot

*The baby would be poolside in the humidity anyway.

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