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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - bed time

26 replies

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 22/09/2016 10:43

DD has just turned 8 and wanting to stay up a bit later. So we've agreed she can stay up until 7.15 then upstairs to get ready for bed and read until 8pm. She generally has about 15 mins reading then lights off.

I thought that was quite a reasonable time for the week and she stays up until we go to bed on Fridays, Saturdays and holidays so it's not like we're particularly strict but I think it's important to get a good night's sleep on school nights. We get up at about 6.30am.

However I've seen quite a few of her friends out at 8pm so presumably not getting to bed until 8.30ish so I'm wondering if I'm putting her to bed too early. I know it's all subjective and I'm not judging anyone else but wondered what other people think is the 'right' time for an 8 year old and whether I'm BU?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 22/09/2016 10:46

Ds is 9 and bedtime is 9pm on school nights and then he can read for 30minutes.

Mamadothehump · 22/09/2016 10:47

My 9 year old goes up at about 7:30 and reads until 8 before getting into bed. No idea how long she takes to then fall asleep but I usually have to wake her the following morning for school at 7:30am.

maddiemookins16mum · 22/09/2016 10:47

8-8.30 (at the latest) is not unreasonable for lights out for an 8 year old on a school night. DD is 12 and lights out for her is 9pm ish.

CMOTDibbler · 22/09/2016 10:55

If she's going to sleep at 8, and not waking before 6.30, then she obviously needs that amount of sleep. I know my ds's friends go to bed a lot later, but at 10 he still needs to be asleep by 8 latest. And he's rarely up later at weekends and holidays

ICanHazCakeNow · 22/09/2016 10:56

You know your DD, if she needs the sleep she needs the sleep.
One of ours is also 8 and we have a similar issue, "all" her friends are up until 9pm. Apparently. But, if she's not in bed by 7:30 she's a nightmare the next morning.

sirfredfredgeorge · 22/09/2016 11:06

DD is 5, she starts the going to bed process at 9pm, and by the time we've read/chatted it's around 9:30pm, she can then read as long as she wants. She gets herself up in the morning without a problem.

That's not to say it would be right for another child, but the amount of sleep you need is individual, and if you can it's better to allow them to regulate it themselves as much as possible.

user1471421772 · 22/09/2016 11:09

My 7 year old goes to bed at 8ish. He gets up at half 6 naturally (I'm up with baby from 5 anyway). He stays up for GBBO on Wednesdays so bedtime at 9:20 that night and gets up naturally at 7:15. A 7pm bedtime is very early for an 8 year old to me - we often eat our dinner then!

m0therofdragons · 22/09/2016 11:09

Dd is 8 - bed by 7.30 lights out by8pm latest but often I say 7.45pm depending on how tired she is. Her bed time will be 8pm latest until secondary school. Mostly so dh and I get time together!

Meadows76 · 22/09/2016 11:11

My 9 year old goes up at about 7:30 and reads until 8 before getting into bed. No idea how long she takes to then fall asleep but I usually have to wake her the following morning for school at 7:30am.. Maybe she is going too early and takes a long time to go to sleep hence being tired in the mornings? I used to get sent up at 8pm when I was 10 and regularly lay awake until 12 - was always knackered in the morning and my mum thought I needed that much sleep. If she had kept me up till 9.30 I would have probably been asleep by 10

Mamadothehump · 22/09/2016 11:23

Meadows76 - I check on her somewhere between 9 & 10pm and she is always asleep. She just likes to lay in in the mornings!!

steppemum · 22/09/2016 11:24

dd2 is 9 next month, just started year 4.

She always wakes up naturally early, before the rest of the family usually, often at 6, always by 7 even at weekends.
She goes up at 8 and lihgts out 8:30.

Trouble is dd1 is 11 and just started secondary school. She could really do with going up at the same time as dd2, as she is tired after busy day, and I have to wake her up in the morning at 6:45.

I think you have to work out what works for your dd. It sounds like a totally normal bedtime to me. But some in dd2s class are in bed by 7 (but up at 6) and some not in bed till much later.

My mum always said, if you have to wake them in the morning they aren't getting enough sleep.

For what it is worth, I send dd2 up to bed on Friday and Saturday, albeit later than during the week. If she was up til 11pm two nights per week she wouldn't cope. Even ds (age 13) gets sent up at 10 pm on a saturday.

RubbleBubble00 · 22/09/2016 11:26

Eldest dc just turned 8. He would have been in bed half 7 before hols but I changed him over the summer to 8.30pm. He's going to sleep easier and sleeping a little later than getting up at his usual 6am but did take a month before later waking happened

RubbleBubble00 · 22/09/2016 11:28

His brothers (3) and (5) go to bed 7.30 and 7.45 respectively. Though sometimes send 5 yr old earlier if he's not waking well in the mornings

RubbleBubble00 · 22/09/2016 11:28

And 3 yr old naps

RubbleBubble00 · 22/09/2016 11:30

Plus we are having problem of.working and there being lots of 8,yr old activities running 7-8

MermaidTears · 22/09/2016 12:00

That is very early for my household. But what works for one won't work for another and so on.

If it's working then go with it.

I wouldn't be happy with my DD who is 8 aswell going that early, as we wouldn't have alot of time together. We normally snuggle up with the blankets and watch TV with cups of tea around that time. My kitchen rules Australia etc shows like that
Then she goes straight to sleep.

If she wanted or needed to go earlier then of course.

Biffsboys · 22/09/2016 12:08

My 8 year old goes at 9 15 and gets himself up at 6 30/7 .

badg3r · 22/09/2016 12:14

Sounds fine to me. DS is only nearly 2 but he goes to bed at 8.30-9pm and gets up around 8. Other people with kids similar ages have them in bed by 6.30 but their kids get up earlier. I remember as a ten year old reading till midnight regularly (mum had no idea I think!). But friends would be in bed at 8. As long as they can get up the next morning having had enough sleep, and as a family you are happy with the setup, that's all that matters.

redskytonight · 22/09/2016 12:15

Does she go straight to sleep and sleep through the night? If she does, then 8pm bedtime is fine. If she lies awake in bed for ages, no so fine.

At that age it wouldn't be uncommon to be doing an after school club that ended at 7.30/8 though.

wigglesrock · 22/09/2016 12:23

My 8 year old (she's a bit older than yours) goes upstairs at around 8pm and lights out at 9 - she's been doing that for a while now. She's ready for bed before she goes up and she doesn't have to read from 8 to 9 - most nights she does but sometimes she plays with her Lego, draws. She loves the Bake Off so she stays down and watches it and then straight to bed, same as Sunday nights X Factor. She's up herself between 7am and 7.30am every morning.

Juanbablo · 22/09/2016 12:52

Ds1 is nearly 9 and goes to bed at 8pm. He reads for a while and is usually asleep by 9 I think.

Juanbablo · 22/09/2016 12:52

He's awake before 6am.

Juanbablo · 22/09/2016 12:53

Sorry for excessive posts, I keep thinking of things to add! Tuesday's and Thursday's he does football and Cubs which don't end till 8, by the time he's showered and had a snack he's not in bed till 8:45.

Wallywobbles · 22/09/2016 12:57

If you have to wake her in the morning then I think you have your answer. 6.30 is pretty early to get up and probably earlier than most.

Original poster
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 22/09/2016 13:16

Jaunpablo keep 'em coming!!

OP posts: