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Original poster

What's the weirdest house rule you've ever experienced as a house guest?

750 replies

Creativemode · 21/09/2016 14:49

Just that really.

Mine is someone that wouldn't let me flush the toilet incase it woke their children.

Also another wouldn't let me go upstairs to the toilet incase the stairs creaked and woke their children (there was no downstairs toilet).

I had a school friend that wasn't allowed fish and chips in the house because of the smell.

OP posts:
Dominithecat · 22/09/2016 15:17

I so want to make the rule of not touching the walls, I have white walls and would love to see the perplexed faces when they see the muddy tail prints of my long haired dogs, yet they are not allowed to Grin

Only have two to add, mad relatives never had heating on " because it's too noisy" huge heating thing it was too could have made a shower room in the space it took, pretty modern house too so no idea why they had this humongous thing installed then never turned it on.
And I remember neighbours when I was a child had a beautiful cake on a stand on the dining table, from memory it was there a week uncut, I had my piggy eyes on it finally got a slice after they took pity on me to find it was stale and disgusting but as I had almost begged for it I had to eat it. Never asked again and was never offered.

JudyCoolibar · 22/09/2016 15:18

Herhighness, did your mother ever get checked out for OCD?

tanfield90 · 22/09/2016 15:34

Good old rules. For the guidance of the wise and the obedience of the foolish. And dreamed up in the first place by utter fruitcakes.

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt · 22/09/2016 15:37

When I was 14 I went to a friends house and was bollocked by her mum for sitting on friends bed as beds are for sleeping in only and I was told that I'm very rude and bad mannered. There was only one chair in the room and friend was sitting on it. Needless to say I didn't return..

For years later I was really nervous about going into friends rooms incase something similar happened

AcrossthePond55 · 22/09/2016 15:41

Good God, Highness, she sounds either batshit or extremely controlling!

How often do you see her?

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 22/09/2016 15:43

When we were teenagers, my best friends mum wouldn't allow showers/baths if she'd cleaned the bathroom. They were only allowed one once a week.

Their bedrooms had no visible toys/games etc throughout childhood. They weren't allowed them out, their bedrooms were also decorated like a guest bedroom. There was no hint that it was a child's room Sad

Their mum made their dad sleep in the car when he came off nights as she wanted the bed made. Poor bloke went along with it.

AmyC86 · 22/09/2016 15:54

had a friend who wouldn't let us flush the toilet if her daughter was asleep.

when my sister was born (11 years after me) once she'd been put to sleep we (DM DF and I) had to sit in complete silence down stairs with the TV on volume 5 at most. you couldn't make a hot drink using the kettle either incase it woke the baby up. Hmm

clippityclop · 22/09/2016 15:57

DSM is getting battier by the year. Immaculate bubble of a house, coasters galore. There's always been a 'shoes off' rule, fair enough but now we're all issued with slippers. Crochet ones, in a variety of lurid colours. If her cleaner is at work we are ushered outside to sit on garden chairs which still have the plastic on. Sunhats are distributed.

paxillin · 22/09/2016 16:16

So many bonkers rules, I feel like inventing some at my house for my amusement. If this thread is anything to go by, mny of us would follow them. How about:

Hum a happy tune when using the loo.
Do not walk, everybody must skip all the time.
Only stop smiling to chew food.
Praise me on the hour, every hour.

At least these would make for a cheerful house, even if it's a little forced.

paxillin · 22/09/2016 16:17

Oh, and drink wine so you can be merry and cheer me up.

oldlaundbooth · 22/09/2016 16:27

'There was a pathway sectioned of with duplo bricks showing us where we could walk' .

Grin Razor, that's hilarious!

AVY1 · 22/09/2016 16:29

ILs complained I used the loo too much until DH explained to them that I had an IBD.

Also stayed with a friend who insisted on doing my laundry and gave me a separate laundry basket for knickers. I think it was because she did all underwear in a delicate cycle but still felt a bit weird.

ShouldHaveBeenJess · 22/09/2016 16:31

oldlaund. Made me laugh too - it must have taken forever and then she'd have to pick the damn things up again!

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 22/09/2016 16:34

Never allowed to cook when I lived at home. Incase I burnt the house down or broke something or did it wrong. God knows how I ever learned to cook. I never did any of those things, but obviously I wasn't to be trusted. Even now if I stay at my parent's house I'm not allowed to cook, and I'm in my 30s.

Yorkieheaven · 22/09/2016 16:40

Ffs highness your mother needed help. How did you maintain your own mental health living with her.

How can people allow a baby to dictate toilet flushing or talking, insane.

clippity that's hilarious.

TattyDevine · 22/09/2016 16:51

I've really enjoyed these keep them coming and well done OP! Grin

I have an aversion to wall touching at the moment. My walls were a mess and I just had them decorated at great expense in some Farrow & Boring white (there are about 50 different whites I think I went for Wimborne which we will rename "whingeborn" because I never used to complain so much before I did it and particularly paid for it).

Amazing how the children can't just walk upstairs using the banister but have to drag their sticky greasy hands up the wall WHY WHY WHY.

flippinada · 22/09/2016 16:59

I know this is in the main a lighthearted thread but some of these posts are so bloody sad.

How horribly stifling and miserable some people's lives must have been as children being bought up with these ridiculous 'rules'.

Yorkieheaven · 22/09/2016 17:06

Tatty agree on the wall issue. I shout hands off the wall to my teens. Drives me nuts.

3BagsFull · 22/09/2016 17:12

Yep, misusing the vacuum cleaner had a pretty rank meaning behind the words. I was clutching my pearls, I can tell you. (And I still can't understand how nobody had a horrific accident getting a blowjob from a hoover, but I guess it takes all sorts.)

Deejeebee · 22/09/2016 17:14

I could see my self turning into the "don't flush the baby is asleep" type Blush

For me I hate it when DH just throws things he's bought from outside on the bed it drives me nuts I'm just so weird about "foreign objects" on my bed especially if they come from outside.

I have various relatives with plastic still on their furniture (to protect it) i think it's a west indian/caribbean thing.

clarehhh · 22/09/2016 17:24

Not being allowed to make tea in the kitchen in case you spill some water on worktop! Was allowed to use utility though!

fishandlilacs · 22/09/2016 17:29

My husband had a classic one from a house share once-he rented a room off a single chap who gave him a list of things he could and could not do. Examples were

Not allowed to use the washing machine for jeans
If doors were open at a certain angle they had to be left at exactly the same angle they were found in
not to wash underwear and shirts in the same wash
No take away food in the house and no food wrappers in the bin.

There were others. we cant remember them all from the a4 list

He was a horrible landlord-my husband did a proper number on him because the day he was leaving he had a Irish door knocker come and offer to tarmac the drive-my husband okayed the job then moved out!

ShouldHaveBeenJess · 22/09/2016 17:36

3BagsFull. Unfortunate username to be referencing the vacuum cleaner post..... Grin

ShouldHaveBeenJess · 22/09/2016 17:37

I'm waiting for Sheldon Cooper to post...

cushion53 · 22/09/2016 17:39

Regarding the Jaffa cakes, I read an article about a boy who was abused at boarding school when he was nine years old. When the teachers had finished with him he was given 3 Jaffa cakes as a reward.