What's the weirdest house rule you've ever experienced as a house guest?

[Creativemode]

Just that really.

Mine is someone that wouldn't let me flush the toilet incase it woke their children.

Also another wouldn't let me go upstairs to the toilet incase the stairs creaked and woke their children (there was no downstairs toilet).

I had a school friend that wasn't allowed fish and chips in the house because of the smell.

Many years ago my sister lived in her MIL's house. MIL was a devoted Jehovah's witness and you weren't allowed to mention the word Christmas let alone celebrate it. My sister being Christian was obviously used to being brought up celebrating Christmas and I was only 12 at the time when I used to visit so obviously leading up to xmas time I was excited about the whole thing and forgot I wasn't allowed to mention it..

I accidentally mentioned it to my sister when I asked what she was doing for Xmas and her MIL went absolutely mental and told me if I dared mention the C word ever again I would be banned from the house indefinitely... righto..

Then my niece who was only 4 at the time fell over and I called her a "silly moo" - MIL heard and went absolutely nuclear screaming at me telling me DONT YOU EVER CALL HER A SILLY MOO AGAIN!!! I DONT WANT YOU USING THOSE WORDS IN MY HOUSE!!!

I didn't visit much after that...

At my ex boyfriends house you weren't allowed to stay in bed after 9am even if you'd had a late night. if you dared to stay in bed after 9am his mother would turn on the radio blasting and start hoovering right outside the door and purposely bash the hoover into his door...

At my parents house you are not allowed to have a bath because it fills the cesspit.

At my house you're not allowed to touch the walls with dirty hands when you're attempting to take off your shoes because it leaves dirty marks all over the white paint - a completely bonkers rule according to my OH...

My goodness, what a lot of odd people there are! I know everyone has their own little peculiarities, but to impose them so strictly on guests is baffling. I suppose some of these rules makes sense - no shoes in the house, wipe down the shower, etc, but the ones about water usage baffle me - what the heck? Surely water, even if metered, is affordable? Agree that some of the thing mentioned would seem to hint at mental health problems such as OCD?

Re the Greek no-paper-down-the-loo, I used to live in Turkey and it was the same. I thought it was vile, but actually the loos all had a copper water pipe sticking out from the back of the bowl, and you were supposed to wash your bum, so the paper going in the bin would only, in theory, have water on it .... same in Greece etc I expect. I remember a friend visiting me who asked if the pipe was supposed to go up your bum ...

Also, as a northerner, remember my grandma's house with its 'front place', where no-one was allowed to go. I don't know if even the Queen would have been let in there.

Mine is very tame - when we go to visit the PILs, about 2 hours drive, we do not get offered a drink unless we arrive at one of the designated times, such as 11am for morning coffee or afternoon tea at 3.40pm. I now insist that DH asks them as soon as we arrive - took him a while to work up the courage.

"...And dog has first pick of seating in living room."

I've told my dogs about this, and they are not sure what the problem is!

My BF has to have all doors and windows closed and locked at all times (flies and burglars, apparently). The only door allowed to be open is the patio door (which has fly curtains_, and a fireguard in front so the dog can't get out (because she won't close the fly curtains behind her). If I wake at night I get claustrophobic because I don't even know where any of the keys are and cannot open any windows for a breath of air.

On a hot day it is stifling, but we can't even open the windows of the rooms we are actually in, because burglars might come through (tiny windows - and he has a bloody huge, barky dog!)

The only 'rule' we have is smelly nappies go straight out to the bin outside. Wet ones are fine in the kitchen bin which gets emptied most days. Saying that, if a guest did put a poo one in there, I would just empty the bin after they went.
I don't think (yet) I've ever really been to a house that has had any strange rules. I don't think taking shoes off is a particularly weird one, although not one we do, and if at home, sometimes don't bother flushing loo after a wee in the night. Again, not something I would even mention to guests. I want guests to feel welcome and at home, not put them off!

I sympathise with people who have a "thing" about hair. On the head and body (and pets) it's fine obviously but not left in the bath or shower - it really makes me squeamish.

I think this stems from having to take baths in water my mum had already used (house rule) which used to have hairs in. Bleuuuurgh .

i had an ex who lodged with a lady, she was in her 40s and he was late 20s and he had his own room, and use of the living room (no dining room) and everywhere was white sofa, walls, capet all white and you were not under no circumstances allowed to eat in there (we had to sit in his room on his bed)

one day we arrived back from being away for the weekend to find this sliding partition wall in the living room and we were like wtf there was a note stuck to it.......one end of the living room was now her bedroom and we weren't to use the living room whilst she was in the house at all and he wasn't allowed to exit into the garden at all (patio doors no other exit or way into the garden apart from walking around about 3 other houses and going in through gate) garden use was limited to when she wasn't home, you weren't allowed to step on grass, only on patio and only on the paving stones that were about 4 foot apart, my 6ft7 ex struggled.

needless to say by the time she arrived back that day his room was cleared

My grandmother always turned every single heater off over night. She thought it was a waste of electricity. And she would come round and check bedrooms.

No fire, no heater, central heating always off.

Staying in December was very exciting. I remember waking up and my sheets had frozen a bit stiff with the cold.

I once visited a boyfriend's parents. They had this slightly odd rule that was that some form of pretence that unmarried couples were sleeping separately had to be maintained. They had this massive sprawling place - mansion size - and they had one wing for the kids, one wing for them. I was given a guest room in the kids wing and my bf explained to me that his mother wasn't actually expecting me to sleep there, but I had to leave my bag there, and every morning go through and pull the covers up so the bed wasn't made.

Then the housekeeper could make the bed while tidying, and decorum was maintained. It seemed very pointless to me. He was in his mid thirties at the time.

Growing up the rule was that we were only ever allowed two minutes in the shower. Regardless of whether you needed to wash your hair or not. Everything had to be done in two minutes. If you were longer then the light got turned off and even the electricity so you were left with no water at all. My parents have an electric shower which is only allowed on the most environmentally setting possible. Which means you have two minutes to stand under a dribble of water. I used to hate shower time at home and meticulously wiped up any condensation afterwards for fear of being shouted at for being longer than two minutes.

Oh my mum has a few. She lives in the south-west and her water bills are really high for a single person, I dread to think what you pay for a family of 4! So she is a bit funny about saving water.

Another rule, which I do understand, is that you can only turn the electric shower on by pulling the cord. You are not allowed to touch the settings on the shower itself because they are a nightmare to reset. With my limited experience of electric showers, I think this is true. It's fine for ds, he like a hotter shower than I do, it's a bit on the hot side for me but the water pressure is lovely.

Everything has to be cleared away right after eating, not like the MIL above who insists everyone sits around and chats! In fact my mum is always flitting about, she simple can't SIT DOWN. And when you are eating she's always asking if you want sauce or something instead of sitting down and eating hers. At least I can tell her I want to eat so will she come and sit down and eat as she's my mum. My MIL is the same, and I can't say it to her.

As for recycling, well that's another minefield. We need a national system. My mum comes to our house and has no idea where to put anything, and vice versa, because we have such different systems and different things get collected. As for not filling a bin, well I'd do better if I didn't get so much junk mail wrapped in cellophane! The paper itself can go in the recycling.

I don't have any rules for guests. I like shoes taken off, but am not too bothered about it.

(I've always turned the heating off overnight even In the depths of winter).

My DM would never allow me to keep tampons/towels in the bathroom when I lived at home. Apparently it would be embarrassing for my brothers, especially if they had their friends over. I once suggested that I should keep some in a make-up bag in the bathroom cupboard so they would be out of sight but apparently there was always a risk that a boy would be looking for something else and come across them so that was off limits too.

I briefly moved in with my parents in my mid 20s and assumed that the rule would have been removed (since brothers by that point were also in their 20s/30s and had serious girlfriends/ children so presumably were unlikely to be shocked at the idea of menstruation). But DM removed the offending items and left them in my room with a note reminding them to be more careful with 'women's items' to avoid 'awkwardness' if my brothers visited.

I never put pooey nappies in the inside bins?! We only empty our kitchen bin once a week (no food waste in there and I'm an avid recycler!).

Every 2-3 weeks is a LUXURY! Our rubbish is never collected and never has been, in the 5 years we have lived there, despite repeated contact with the council and local MP.

I used to spend a lot of school holidays at a friend's flat - her mother was lovely and welcoming but had issues about cleaning.

Main one was after you washed your hands, you had to dry the basin with the dedicated towel, so no drops of water were visible. Or she would scream in fury!

Also no-one was allowed to do any cooking in the kitchen, ever. Not even heating up a ready meal. Nor toast. Cereal and cold food was OK, and she would give us money to go to the cafe down the road. Once, friend and I made pancakes (she had frying pans etc for decoration...) when we knew her mum would be out for hours.

Eight hours later, with the window open all day and the extractor fan on, and everything scrubbed, her mum came home and sniffed "It SMELLS in here! Have you been COOKING?!" We lied and denied it all.

Mum was explained by the habits of her parents - also lovely and generous but even more bonkers - their sofas were covered in clear plastic covers and only adult visitors were allowed to sit on them - teenagers and Mum had to sit on the floor to avoid 'denting' the sofa...

ILs will faff forever trying to get a zillion parts of a meal onto oodles of heated serving platters and then heated plates, followed by dozens of condiments and then half a dozen types of wine, by which time all the food is cold, heated plates or no. It's so much less stress now MIL can't carry a platter and FIL is a bit confused so will sit down and actually bloody eat!

My mother ( now elderly) has never allowed drinks with a meal or eating in between meals. Baths haven't been allowed for over 20 years, minimum of hot water to be used . Special towel when you visit for drying your hands and constant reminders to use only that towel in the bathroom.
No talking during a meal and no salt and pepper either.
You must never burp or fart in her presence and as a child if I farted accidentally I had to sit on the toilet and try and do a poo, this could take ages. No swearing, not even ' bloody hell '. No using the telephone unless it's an emergency. Shower water to be kept ( put bath plug in ) and then used to wash down outside paths and steps or bins or to flush the loo.
Washing machine to be used once every two weeks, two loads only.
Everything must be used and kept until it's falling apart and very rarely is anything replaced.
Gifts she receives are put away and never see the light of day no matter what they are. Never ever buy 1 st class stamps and never lick an envelope.
If you have an ice cream cone ( a very rare treat ) you are expected to leave the bottom of the cone because the ice cream man has touched money.
No takeaway food in the house and no hair dryers or heat styling.
When I married and left home I couldn't wait to buy a takeaway and blow dry my hair eating an ice cream, it felt like heaven.
Oh and no fried foods, all bread must be brown.

I used to have a rule that company was not allowed in my kitchen after dinner because I wanted them to 'relax' and 'enjoy' being together. I, on the other hand, confined myself to the kitchen for about 20 minutes stacking dishes, loading the dishwasher and putting food away (major cleanup was done after everyone left) and getting coffee/dessert ready to take to the living room. This was something I inherited from my mother.

Lovely DiL refused to 'obey' my rule and insisted on helping me so 'we can get out of the kitchen sooner'. She also shamed DS1 into helping too. This has evolved into everyone pitching in and we're now done in just a few minutes.

Some 'rules' are made to be broken and/or tossed out.

im starting to wonder if because i cant think of any people with weird house rules, if im the person with weird house rules lol

Her highness wins the thread.

Not house rules as such but there are some weird customs at my in laws.

They basically empty the contents of the entire fridge onto the dining room table for each meal. Mother in law will sit there and try and foist various leftovers from up to a fortnight earlier on you. Every single thing is out...every condiment, all sorts of weird combinations of god knows what. Everyone just goes for the same thing - a crusty roll, some ham or turkey, and maybe a packet of crisps. So all the weird leftovers and condiments get put back in the fridge at the end by this crowd of people walking up and down the main corridor of the house carrying all the unused items dutifully putting them all back again. 3 hours later the process repeats itself...

A friend has inherited her mother's obsession with "shoes off at the door" and then arranging them in age order of everyone in her house, including guests and visitors. Goodness knows how she knows everyone's age!

Her highness- omg I'm exhausted just reading all that, that's awful! What were your grandparents like, were they similar?

A school"mate's" house-absolutely FUCKING frigid with cold. I swear I now know what it feels like to be dead. Thank Gods I only lived minutes away.

I tutored at the flat of a woman here in HK. who is fucking anal about being germ-free. Her flat basically smelled of neat DETTOL. I wasn't even permitted to use the fucking toilet.

I don't have any real rules and guests are all welcome to either be waited on or help themselves. But in this flat my kitchen is tiny, two cupboards and one tiny drawer, barely any counter tops . Which is bizarre as my flat is massive. So as a result, the toaster has to live on the floor when not in use, pots and pans have to be washed immediately and dried and hung/put in broken top oven. Things like that.

When I was younger I lived in a basement flat, the landlord lived in the house above. I wasn't allowed to shower before 9am and after 6pm because it woke his wife up. Keeping in mind I was in the basement, she was up on the top floor. Must have been a bat. Anyway I used to work long hours in a hospital and had to commute, so I ended up having to shower at work or at a friends place.

My partner used to rent a room, the landlordlived there too. She wouldn't let him cook, was always shouting at him, he wasn't allowed to make noise, and as he worked in a hospital too, she deemed his clothes too dirty to be washed in the washing machine, so he had to use his sisters machine.

My nan used to only have a bath once a week, so whenever we visited we were restricted to bathing once a week too. If it were up to nan we'd have all used the same water, but my mum wouldn't have any of that.

The Greek plumbing thing - I always take scented nappy bags on holiday for disposal of soiled loo roll. Then if the bin isn't emptied very often it doesn't become unpleasant. Shocking the number of people that ignore the no loo roll rule