To be really pissed off with work

[Cantthinkofarelevsntnamechange]

So the other day DP took ds to the gp who then said to take him to a and e because his breathing wasn't good enough.
Dp phoned me at work to tell me obviously so I told work and said I'll need to go.
They said no, because there was only 2 of us in that day (me and manager) but they'll phone to see if someone can come in then I can go.
Then just fucking walked off for the rest of the day leaving me at the tills on my own so I couldn't leave or anything, and never bothered to tell me if someone was coming in or not. (I work in a shop)
I know I should have just walked out and gone but dp was texting me and it wasn't an emergency emergency, they were still in the assesment ward, but we did have to stay in hospital overnight because he wasn't getting enough oxygen so it was quite bad. And we just had a letter saying we owe loads of rent and im pregnant and we are skint so getting fired not an option right now unless we want to be homeless.
And when I called in sick the next say because I was still in hospital with ds they seemed a bit annoyed.

Aobu to think that if someone asks to leave because their 3 year old has to go to a and e because the go is worried about their breathing that you should just fucking let them? The manager could have done tills so it wouldn't have been the end of the world. They also could easily have got someone to come in if they had bothered because there is a massive version of the same shop down the road and someone could have come from there if they needed.

It was unreasonable of them not to let you go when he was in A&E. You are entitled to have that time off because it was a domestic emergency (albeit unpaid).

You were in the wrong though for calling in sick when you weren't actually sick. You could have been disciplined for that.

I'd be annoyed with you calling in sick as well.

Sorry I didn't call in sick I called in to stay I wouldn't be in, because I was still in hospital with ds having stayed with him overnight

Just to clarify I didn't say I was sick, I said "I won't be able to come in today because I'm still at hospital with ds"

I think thats pretty awful of them to be honest, what parent wouldn't want to be with their 3 year old in hospital?

You didn't attend work and you hadn't sought permission for that. It's the same thing and not covered under the time off for domestic emergencies legislation.

There are various ways to get time off for this sort of scenario e.g. holiday etc but you have to have your employer's consent to do that.

I had no choice. I can't leave him there on his own he's 3. I don't think your even allowed to leave 3 year old in hospital on their own!

Well ;'m not wanting to argue but strictly that isn't true. You have a DP.

I'm simply telling you your "rights" as an employee in this scenario. I'm not saying they should win an employer of the year award.

Who also has a job? I was there on my own with him at that point.
So your seriously saying that I was supposed to leave hospital with ds who was borderline needing to go to high dependency at that point (asthma and nebuliser wasn't doing it so nay have needed a drip that effects their heart rate) and gone to work leaving him by himself!?

You both stayed overnight? Well that wasn't the best idea, was it? Did your partner also not go into the next day? Why are you behind with your rent?

No, I wouldn't personally leave my child in that scenario. I'm just saying that your employer would not have been in the wrong (legally) if they wanted to take issue with it.

I called as soon as they opened and my shift wasn't until 4 hours later. They said I didn't have to go in but seemed annoyed. I don't get why everyone is saying they would be annoyed about that because I don't actually understand what else I was supposed to do????

Here (not UK) you can take sick leave if its your kids or dependants (which I think might actually include pets). So there's nothing wrong with that part of your story I don't think.

My work would have let me leave. But I wouldn't have given them an option.

Of course you're not being unreasonable FGS.

They're entitled to be annoyed. You were not fulfilling the terms of your contract.

You're entitled to be annoyed that you were unable to leave in an emergency situation.

Tigher no only I stayed overnight. only one parent is allowed to stay overnight.
For a timeline:
Dp took dd to a and e at 9am
I finished work at 3.
Dp left at 10pm, I stayed overnight. (No in a and e by this point, on the childrens ward) He's 3 and terrified of the nebuliser and was having to have it every hour overnight so .

We are behind with rent because we are skint.

I think whoever was more able to take off work should have stayed with your child.

When I was in with my ds who had whooping cough at 2 weeks old there but lots of kids without a parent. Couldn't do it myself and I had left 5 at home with gps. Was awful hearing them crying withlug anyone to comfort them. Did meet a traveller who stayed in with her dd and her name was Gloria - Victoria!! - she was 18 months and so gorgeous! Made up for the dubious name!!

If you're so skint why are you having another child?

As there was one parent with him in a and e then really it made more sense for you to stay there and then do the overnight/next day.

Yes it would have been nice to have been able to get there but as long as there is someone with him - in this case another parent - then sometimes it simply isn't possible.

You should have just walked out when you heard about the emergency- employers have a duty of care to their employees in the UK. I used to work in retail too and have closed shops for the day when we didn't have the minimum people to run them.

YANBU and they are twats. Hope your DS is much better now

If you work for a large company they should have a policy that covers emergency time off, time off for dependants etc. Try to get a copy. I do understand as had similar situation with my son. A good employer would pull out all the stops to ensure you could be with your son mine did. Hope your son is ok now.

The OP didn't ask what the legal situation was. She asked if she was being unreasonable to be pissed off with them for not letting her go. Which she isn't. I would have thought that the vast majority of managers would let a parent go to a sick child in that situation, unless there was some kind of real emergency work situation.