Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should only pay the CM half-rate for this missed day?

43 replies

WhateverWillBe · 20/09/2016 11:22

Our contract with the CM is quite straightforward - if the dc don't go for any reason, full payment for that day is due. If the CM can't have the dc for any reason, no payment is due. Both have happened in the past and all has been fine, we know where we stand.

Last week, ds2 was ill (just a minor temperature) so I kept him off school. I picked up my phone to text the cm to say the dc wouldn't be with her that night and I'd had a text from her already that morning...saying she was sorry, her ds was ill so she couldn't have the dc.

Now I could have kept schtum, said OK then, and wouldn't have had to pay for the day. But I text back along the lines of ds2 was ill too, was just about to text to tell her, hope her ds is OK etc.

We pay two weeks in arrears so i've just come to make the payment which covers this day. I text the cm and suggested I pay half-rate for this day as neither she nor we were available, so it seemed a reasonable in-the-middle compromise. She text back to say that sorry, my dc weren't available for that day so the full payment was due. I've responded to say that if we went down that road, I could equally say that as she wasn't available either way, no payment was due.

I thought I was being quite fair in offering to pay half tbh as I could have easily got away with not telling her my dc was ill. Nope, she's nicely insisting on full payment. It's very awkward. We've never had any kind of disagreement in two years and dh thinks it's not worth it and we should just pay...it's only £15 more. But it's the principal which is really leaving a sour taste for me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Mooey89 · 20/09/2016 11:24

YANBU!

She's being cheeky imo!

Giratina · 20/09/2016 11:25

She is BVU. She had initiated contact that day to say she wasn't available so she has a real cheek still expecting to be paid.

Clickclickclick · 20/09/2016 11:27

Yanbu. She text you first so she takes the hit.

Unless she blames you for her DC being ill. It's v common for parents to send their DC to the childminder knowing they were sick the day before and say nothing (ignoring the 48 hour sickness policy thing) so is it possible that this is her reasoning?

Squeegle · 20/09/2016 11:27

She is being awkward. You're being very fair.

someonestolemynick · 20/09/2016 11:29

I have a similar set up (tutor) and would have refused your offer of half few (as in: I would not have accepted payment for that day).
I think you are being very generous.

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 20/09/2016 11:30

SIBU! She texted you first, and wasnt going to take them anyway.

Original poster
WhateverWillBe · 20/09/2016 11:33

It wouldn't be that Click as the day was a Monday and they hadn't been with her since the Wed before. I mean, it may well have been the same virus but no way i'd have known iyswim.

OP posts:
willconcern · 20/09/2016 11:37

Next time, don't fess up!

I think she's being unreasonable, and you are being very fair!

Original poster
WhateverWillBe · 20/09/2016 11:40

Willconcern definitely...tbh the only thing this has taught me is not to give too much notice. If the dc ever need a day off again, i'll leave it until an hour or two before to make sure she's not cancelling first...and no way will I be honest again!

OP posts:
PrimarySchoolQ · 20/09/2016 11:41

Yanbu. She wasn't going to have the dc anyway. She should appreciate the fact you offered half rate and then STILL stick to the no payment because she was ill thing.

LouBlue1507 · 20/09/2016 11:48

YANBU - What you offered was more than fair! Generous in fact!

Inertia · 20/09/2016 11:48

YANBU, meeting halfway is more than fair.

If you're otherwise happy with the CM then it's worth the £15 to continue with arrangements, but she's demonstrating exactly how she wants things to work and you know that flexibility from you is only going to backfire.

SheldonsSpot · 20/09/2016 11:48

Oh wow, the silly woman has really soured a presumably good working relationship hasn't she?!

I would probably pay her the full amount but any goodwill or fondness would be gone - and in future I'd be texting her 10 minutes before she would be due to have your DC, if they weren't going to be with her.

She could kiss my arse for any future birthday, Christmas or summer holiday gifts (my childminder was amazing and we spoiled her rotten, I can't imagine her ever pulling a stunt like this).

Bearfrills · 20/09/2016 12:01

She's being incredibly cheeky! She texted first that she wasn't available, before she knew your DC was ill, so in effect she was 'closed' that day. Even if your DC was fit and healthy they wouldn't have been able to attend. I'm a CM and wouldn't have charged for this.

Clickclickclick · 20/09/2016 12:06

She is definitely being VVU then. And stupid.

Willow2016 · 20/09/2016 12:17

Nope!

She was closed ergo no charge for that day. Tell her to check her own contract.

I wouldnt dream of charging in this instance, its all down to timing but thats just tough. I wouldnt pay her a penny if she is being so awkward and put it in writing why you are not paying. You have offered half fee which is more than generous and she has refused. Leave it as per contract now.

I wouldnt have dreamt of charging in this instance.

drspouse · 20/09/2016 12:18

If she was closed and she actually told you then it's her problem to take the hit.
You are being generous to pay half.
(We have a great CM but we had an argument about this exact thing in fact. She had a building problem and had to go and stay with relatives, it was weather-related so we suspected she might, so we asked her and confirmed that she wasn't available. For the same weather-related reason DH couldn't go to work so we didn't need to send the DC. We offered half but she was very grumpy and said it wasn't her fault... but anyway despite a bit of ill feeling we have mended fences).

Scarydinosaurs · 20/09/2016 12:21

She is being so unreasonable!

Insist that you have her message telling you she was unavailable that day- she contacted you first. No way should you pay anything!

2016Hopeful · 20/09/2016 12:22

YANBU - she can't claim any money for that day as she wasn't available for work. Don't even pay half.

Boysnme · 20/09/2016 12:25

I wouldn't pay it. It's probably more grief for her to fill the space than for you to find a new childminder. And to be honest if this was me it would leave a sour taste in my mouth and make me want to look for a new CM anyway. Next time tell her as he is meant to be there and give no notice.

Hufflepuffin · 20/09/2016 12:27

"You cancelled first, so contractually I didn't have to pay anything. I offered to pay half as a goodwill gesture as I value our working relationship and thought that seemed fair. If this is not acceptable to you, then I refer you back to my first sentence, with great sadness."

Bearfrills · 20/09/2016 12:34

It's probably more grief for her to fill the space than for you to find a new childminder

I wouldn't bank on it. I'm on extended leave at the minute so have no mindees but prior to that I had a waiting list and during my leave I'm averaging around 5-8 queries a week for placements.

OP, remind her that 'under contract' she was closed that day and that she notified you of her closure first therefore your DC's illness is irrelevant. Reiterate that as a compromise you're willing to pay half fees however you are not happy that you've been billed full fees for a service that was not available.

BruceBogtrotter101 · 20/09/2016 12:42

Hufflepuffin has nailed it. She won't know her head from her arse after receiving that

waitingforsomething · 20/09/2016 12:42

She is massively unreasonable in this case - you are very good to even pay her half. I think your recent text message is appropriate and that's all you should pay her.

MackerelOfFact · 20/09/2016 12:47

How many DCs of yours does she look after? Could you put it to her that since she was unavailable to collect you other DC(s) from school while you stayed at home with DS2, that made her unavailable and not you?