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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the best advice you've ever been given is?

234 replies

Champagneformyrealfriends · 17/09/2016 22:32

Just that really. Following on from the "worst advice on Mumsnet" thread-what is the best advice you've ever been given (real life or Mumsnet)?

OP posts:
Rockingaround · 19/09/2016 08:12

My nan always gave me advice growing up; about friends "if you lie down with dogs you wake up with fleas" and when I was young and impressionable she's say "if someone eggs you on to do something - tell them no, you do it first" - about life "never tell anybody everything about yourself" and she'd always say "no one can make you do anything you don't want to do" if I was trying to avoid taking responsibility for something.

MissBattleaxe · 19/09/2016 08:30

Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Thingmcthingyface · 19/09/2016 09:58
  • Fast, Cheap, Quality- Pick 2. Applies to all things.
  • Don't say anything to yourself you wouldn't say to a friend
  • Don't wear white on pasta day
  • You think before you feel, and you can choose how you think
  • Don't marry where you have doubts
  • If he likes football no second date :-)
  • Don't play games

And best parenting advice I've had is "You can't pour from an empty cup"

ShallNotBeNamed · 19/09/2016 10:17

Those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter!

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 19/09/2016 10:22

Never run with scissors.

ssd · 19/09/2016 10:24

drains and radiators

liletsthepink · 19/09/2016 11:54

From mumsnet 'when a man tells you who he is, listen carefully'

From Rita Rudner 'whenever I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself, is he the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?' (In my case my ex and I remained friendly until his death, so I chose well!)

From my mum 'no job is more important than your health or your family'

nannybeach · 19/09/2016 14:43

I disagree with "you might regret the things you havent done, more than the things you have, everything you do has consequences, if you havent done something, there is always the choice, but once you HAVE done something, anything, that is it done for ever. Told my kids this and they have taken note. Best bit of advice from my late Mother, was never lend money to friends, wish I had taken it (the advice that is, not the money!)

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 19/09/2016 16:03

“Windows are for cheaters, Chimneys for the poor, Closets are for hangers, Winners use the door”

I love that line. It reminds me of a ladybird book which was read to me as a child, called Three Little Kittens. It includes the phrase "honest folk go through the door!" when a police cat catches a naughty little kitten going through the window. It amuses me, anyway...

3Clevercloggs · 19/09/2016 17:12

"Stop worrying about things that might never happen"........

AliceScarlett · 19/09/2016 17:46

Don't push away or hold on to your emotions.

Saved my life.

MotherDuckSaid · 19/09/2016 19:53

my dad told me when he was driving me to my first ever job (I was 13 and i was to be a very shy potato peeler at our village restaurant)!
that i shouldn't ever be worried about meeting new pple or being myself, because at the end of the day everyone is the same, everyone has had similar worries at one time or another. Nobody is Better than you. Even the Queen has a poo and wipes her own arse !
Not hugely eloquent, but i have remembered it so many times since and it has always helped me when i've had to face a new or difficult situation .

Oh, and my nan told me never to stick a knife in the toaster when it's on and that has helped too
:-D

maggiethemagpie · 19/09/2016 20:40

My mother told me when I was a wee girl, there will always be someone more fortunate than you, and there will always be someone less fortunate than you. Stops me envying other people, and I've ended up a 'middle of the road' kind of person in terms of salary, house etc anyway!

bumbleclat · 19/09/2016 20:50

My dad always said that people can take me as they find me or fuck off!
Great moto I've found!

bibbitybobbityyhat · 19/09/2016 20:55

There was a thread I read on Mumsnet about children and drowning. There was a link on it to a blog by an American mum with two young children and her trip to the outdoor pool where her older child nearly drowned (even though he had arm bands on) while she was busy taking photos of her baby for Facebook. I don't really know why I read it because my children were much older and had had years of swimming lessons, but there was something so very urgent and heartfelt about the way she wrote.

Anyway, we went on holiday to Italy a week or two later and arrived at the public swimming pool. Completely over-excited 8 year old ds who could swim 200m at home without turning a hair, jumped straight in (to the deep end) as soon as we walked through the entrance gate, panicked, was disoriented, couldn't find a bar to hold on to round the edge and started to go under. That blog and that thread had somehow stuck in my mind about the need to be hyper-vigilant around water and I happened to be watching him like a hawk and could kneel at the side and help him out. If I hadn't read it, I might well have assumed he was perfectly ok after his years of swimming lessons and merrily gone about finding sun loungers, slapping on sun cream etc.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 19/09/2016 20:57

So mine would be: never ever make assumptions around water.

Craftylittlething · 19/09/2016 21:03

Always trust your instinct, you have it for a reason

DottieB · 19/09/2016 21:13

I am another fan of the Desiderata, plenty of good ones in there :)
Also...
Always offer a cup of tea.
Get up, get dressed and get on with it (when I need a good kick up the backside!)
Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're probably right (a slight misquote of Henry Ford I think).
Don't worry too much about what anyone else is doing my love, you sail your own boat.

Original poster
Champagneformyrealfriends · 19/09/2016 21:14

bibbity I'm so wary around water-bloody terrifies me. There was a local boy swept out to see in Wales fairly recently and he died-I can't imagine what his family have been through.

OP posts:
Itsallgoodimtold · 19/09/2016 21:23

I love Kipling's 'If' poem which begins, 'If you can keep your head when all about are losing it and blaming it on you. If you can etc......etc..... and ends with you'll be a man my son!'
More than that I love 'If you can keep your head when all about are losing it and blaming it on you, then you probably haven't quite grasped the gravity of the situation' Grin

butterfliesandzebras · 19/09/2016 21:35

The only thing you 'have' to do today, is survive.

This advice (from a complete stranger on the internet) lead to me pull tracksuit bottoms and a coat over my pyjamas (with hood up over my messy hair) and walk to the corner shop to buy some food. Because when you are at the lowest, near suicidal, not coping etc, then just doing the basic things you need to do to live is more important than worrying about social niceties such as showing, washing clothes, or brushing your hair.

And once I broke through that barrier, and realised the world didn't end when I just focused on survival and let everything else go for a bit, I had the time and space heal, and get back to a point in my life where I could again consider more than survival.

I genuinely believe this advice saved my life.

Flingmoo · 19/09/2016 22:11

My favourite is 'pick your battles', especially with DCs, ESPECIALLY with toddlers. Paired with saying "oh well, nevermind" to most things that go wrong where babies/toddlers are concerned, this is a recipe for an easier life!

So many times I see people losing their shit with toddlers, even babies, and I just think, wow, you're making your life needlessly stressful. Sometimes it's easier to just sigh and say "oh well, nevermind" when they spill their drink for the 100th time that day, or when they are smashing two little toy cars together while shouting "CRASH!". If you really want to stop their behaviour, distraction is usually better than telling off. I save the discipline for more serious times, like hitting, aggression, or doing something unsafe.

This has made a massive difference to my life as well as the behaviour of my toddler.

MyPeriodFeatures · 19/09/2016 22:25

Yep- one was 'accept the bad stuff with the openness and acceptance you would the good'.

More recent - I commented to a woman I know about how lovely her family seemed / 2 older children ( young adults)

She said 'yes, we hug lots. In all circumstances we hug'

Both these have changed my life :)

Sadik · 19/09/2016 22:43

My favourite piece of advice was from my mum when I was 15 (for context, I'd just told her that a classmate of mine was pregnant): "If you're going to do anything stupid, do make sure you're sensible about it."

More usefully, perhaps: "Don't borrow trouble" - I repeat this to myself whenever I start being upset and worried about something that may or may not ever happen

Mollymoo78 · 19/09/2016 23:15

Before you speak about someone ask yourself - is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

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