To ask what the best advice you've ever been given is?

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

Just that really. Following on from the "worst advice on Mumsnet" thread-what is the best advice you've ever been given (real life or Mumsnet)?

Never look into your neighbours bowl except to check that they have enough. (ie. Don't waste time being envious of others). It's a much more easy life not caring about what other people have.

My wonderful mum, who is no longer with us (it's six years this year and I still miss her everyday), always used to say to me:

"Everything happens for a reason", and used to qualify it with "you may not know why now, but it will all become apparent one day".

And from that I took great strength, particularly when my marriage ended, and when my father was gravely ill (but recovered), and when I lost my grandma and then very shortly afterwards my wonderful mum, both very unexpectedly. I think it has shaped the person I am today a great deal.

She also had a few others:

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" (said to me a lot during my late teens lol!)... And...

"Don't do what you like - like what you do"

And one from me (which I read in a magazine article many years ago and which I hold to be true):

"People come in to your life for one of three reasons: a reason, a season or a lifetime".

This one has helped me not to dwell on ended relationships (whether male partners, female friends or colleagues), particularly if they met a need (whether for both of us, me, or for them).

And finally, one from my grandma:

"The way to a mans heart is through his stomach"

What people say about you always says more about them than it does you.

It's just a moment, this time will pass. From a U2 song, sometimes it doesn't pass but when I was mentally ill and at rock bottom that line helped me so much.

If a relationship is right you won't need to play games or worry if he is interested in you. He will make it very clear.

From my mum who was in abusive relationships- Hurt is not love. Do not confuse the two.

From my therapist- Be kind to yourself and self-compassionate. Would you speak to your friend the way you speak about yourself?

Do not put your happiness and self-esteem in someone else's hands.

I was coming on to say "swallow the frog" too

I read it as a magazine article around 15 years ago and it has always stayed with me - and been shared with others too!

If i have a list of things to do or I'm feeling overwhelmed by a workload I put the most dreaded thing at the top and do that first. Everything else seems much easier and manageable in comparison

sugarlightly I love that one

A lady I met whilst travelling once told me

"Never turn down a tea or a wee"

It's served me very well over the years!

Bristol

After a relationship ended, my Dad asked me why and I couldn't really answer and he said "sometimes it's not the big things, the big arguments that tear people apart. Sometimes it's all the little things that build up"

So, so true.

"Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have."

Helped me focus more on what was in my life, what I should get rid of and what I had to appreciate, rather than what I felt I was lacking. Made me a lot more proactive in my own living.

Love the eat the frog advice.
I need to take heed of some of these!

Don't waste time on fake butter, cheese or people...

Mine is... 'Everything looks better in the morning'.

Strange but seems to be true! Everything seems better with a clear head.

Don't put your fingers anywhere that you wouldn't put your cock.

Another great one I live by:

If in doubt, flat out.

I was always a worrier and years ago a friend advised me "never meet trouble more than half way"- which I have repeated to myself on many occasions when my brain starts down the catastrophising "what if.." route!

Suck it and see.

'Have a shower'. Trite, maybe, but usually I feel better once I've had a shower. Part of my mental health issues involve avoiding self care, so it's particularly good.

From my late great godmother, 'question everything'. Helps me when I feel like I'm battling against a stone wall, and helps me make sense of my asd.

Also 'never put anything in your vagina you wouldn't put in your mouth'

Actions speak louder than words- especially true with so called friends and potential partners.

Your intentions only matter to you, the outcomes are all the people affected by them care about.

It's ok to not be ok- after i miscarried.

And after getting some very insensitive comments after i miscarried, a friend said: people don't always know what to say and do and sometimes say hurtful things. If you know they love you then know they aren't trying to hurt you they are just supremely shit at this. And that's ok, just step back from them a while and recognise where they do support you.

Sometimes the best thing to do is do nothing. As in, you don't always have to rush in to make a decision, sometimes it's good to just sit back a while and think.

Also, this one was advice about office gossip "keep your ears open and your mouth shut". As in, be aware of what's going on, but never be the one to gossip about/badmouth other people.

I would add 'sometimes feeling shit is the appropriate response'. It's not wrong to feel bad, it's not wrong to be pissed off. It's not always a symptom of something else. It's taken me years to understand that some things need that response.

Two of my fave pieces of advice...

"We're not saving lives here" I say this to keep things in perspective when my job gets stressful..... clearly only applies if your job does not involve saving lives! :)

"In life other people will try to take your achievements away from you, never take them away from yourself".
I.e. If someone offers you a compliment, say thank you, don't play it down. Other people will play down things you've done well, you shouldn't help them!

never put anything in your vagina you wouldn't put in your mouth

I wouldn't put a tampon in my mouth

gemer unused they're sterile though.

44 I work in retail and say that a lot!

With family:

Give money or don't give money but never lend.

From a friend, in times of irritation.

Just smile and wave!