To expect DH to eat his own food in a restraunt?

[PigInMuck86]

DH is allergic to milk and wheat which means we very rarely eat out. I'm vegetarian and on Monday its my 30th birthday and a new vegetarian restaraunt has opened near us with a fab menu and kids menu. My MIL and two nephews want to join us so i rang and asked about DH and they said they couldn't cater for him but were happy for him to bring his own. So i told DH and he got really angry. Apparantly I am selfish and he won't come if he has to eat his own food. It my fucking birthday surely i should chose where i want to go? For his 30th i arranged a steam train driver day and tea in a very expensive restaraunt which catered for DH but had no veggie options so the kids and I had chips. Would I be unreasonable to tell him to shove it and go? Or AIBU and intolerant of his dietry needs?

Ok, so he's not a dick. That's a decent compromise, though I still can't see his issue with taking his own food, for one special meal.

Glad it worked out. As a veggie, I get where you were coming from. Imo, veggie food in even supposedly good restaurants, is generally pretty disappointing..

We are a family of vegetarian coeliacs (severe ones too) Bella Italia is our best friend as it caters well for both groups

Glad everything has worked out, and hope you have a fab birthday with MIL!!

I haven't read the full thread (hangs head) but I need to comment re the "milk allergy". I work in catering, have a level 3 cert. There is no such thing - he is either allergic to lactose and gluten, which any half decent establishment will be able to accomodate, or he isn't so he'll live. We take allergies seriously but still want bums on seats. He might be limited in what he can eat but there is no way a restaurant can't deal with this.

mercilousming a level 3 catering certificate is nor what I would consider a medical qualification. Yes it certainly is possible to be allergic to all milk products, having an allergic reaction to milk protein is different from having an allergic reaction to lactose which is milk sugar and yes you can be allergic to both and I think someone should be trusted to know for themselves from experience whether a trace of some milk product is going to make them poorly for days. I don't think someone with a level 3 catering certificate should consider that they can declare any allergy doesn't exist.

Coeliac here. My rule is that the person being celebrated chooses. If I can't eat there, oh well. When it's my turn I get to choose. So I think your DH IBU.

Apologies for not having rtft but is your DH newly diagnosed? I admit to having a really hard time adjusting to the loss of being able to eat out anywhere and just may have done a bit of sulking in the early days.