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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To try to press charges?

20 replies

DisgruntledGoat · 15/09/2016 18:14

My 12 year old son was assaulted on his way home from school today by an older boy. It was completely unprovoked, my son had never even seen him before today! I've been advised by son's school to call 101 and report as there is an independent witness and, after some sleuthing by son's school, the name of the lad who assaulted him. I'm just wondering given his age (14 we think) if I can press charges against him? I don't really want to actually press charges but I think the threat might sort this boy out and make him think twice before doing it again and force an apology from him at the very least! He also assaulted another boy at the same time and threatened to stab him!!

OP posts:

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 15/09/2016 18:15

Phone the police and let them deal with it. Your ds needs to know it's been taken seriously.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/09/2016 18:17

I'd contact the police. Kids need to know that serious actions have serious consequences.

rhuhbarb4 · 15/09/2016 18:18

I agree with phoning police as you say the threat might make him think twice next time however why would you want to force an apology out of him I would only want an apology if it was sincere.

scurryfunge · 15/09/2016 18:18

Yes, phone the police and let them deal. There are various disposal options from warnings, community resolution or court, depending on the offender's previous conduct.

JagerPlease · 15/09/2016 18:21

Age of criminal responsibility is 10 so no issue with going to the police

LaurieFairyCake · 15/09/2016 18:22

You don't press charges, the police decide to.

Definitely report it.

Andrewofgg · 15/09/2016 18:24

Don't expect anything too serious to happen to a 14 year old.

GrimmauldPlace · 15/09/2016 18:28

Yes definitely call the police. 14 is more than old enough to face the consequences of an unprovoked attack. Hope your DS is OK!

AdjustableWench · 15/09/2016 18:30

Your poor son. I hope he isn't badly injured.

I agree that you should report it to police. Being assaulted can be very distressing, especially to a child. It's good for your son to know that you're taking it seriously.

Sparklesilverglitter · 15/09/2016 18:34

I'd contact the police, even if they only talk to the child & parents might give them a shock.

At 14 he should bloody well know better, I would be disgusted if my child behaved in such a way! Don't let the little swine get away with it

YelloDraw · 15/09/2016 18:34

Why don't you want to press charges?

You would if you were attacked

Sunshineonacloudyday · 15/09/2016 18:35

Report it you are doing the boy a favour and hopefuly he will learn something from it.

Eatthecake · 15/09/2016 18:36

Do contact the police. My DD was attack on her way home last year and I contacted th police.

Please don't let the nasty little fucker get away with it. Hopefully he has decent parents and when they find out from the police they will be disgusted by his behaviour too! At 14 they do know better, there are no excuses!

Hope your ds is ok, how terrible for him

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/09/2016 18:44

If you want anything to happen other than a repeat performance, go through the police, schools can only do so much and is not much at that.

redexpat · 15/09/2016 19:14

If school are telling you to do it, then do it. It means he probably has form for such behaviour and they want him to stop.

Original poster

DisgruntledGoat · 15/09/2016 19:23

Thanks for advice. It's been logged with police now and I have an incident number and an officer will be coming Saturday to take his statement. I think he was more shocked than hurt tbh. I'm going to call the school of the boys who assaulted him first thing in morning too. I agree an apology would be forced anyway. I'd be livid if my son treated anyone like that not to mention horribly disappointed.

OP posts:

Whatthefuckis1tnow · 15/09/2016 19:24

Definitely report it but it's not up to you whether he gets charged or not. It doesn't work like that. A charging decision gets made by Police or the CPS.

MostlyHet · 15/09/2016 19:34

If the 14 year old is threatening to stab people, this is very, very serious. Children die every year in stabbings - yes, please report to the police.

(And hugs to your poor son).

phillipp · 15/09/2016 19:42

We had the same except the boy was 11. It has gone on so long, when we reported it to the police the first time, they charged him.

Never regretted it for a moment.

Bestthingever · 15/09/2016 19:46

My ds was assaulted by three boys aged 14 and 15 a couple of years ago. He was 14. Two ladies witnessed it and called the police. I think if they hadn't my ds would have never agreed to get the police involved. As pp said, charges aren't up to the victim, it's up to the police. The police officer who took ds's statement said it would depend on what contact they'd had with the boys in the past. 2 out of 3 boys were charged so clearly they had been involved with the boys before. Imo they needed to be taught a lesson. Ds had been kicked in the head and that has potentially serious consequences. However it was stressful for ds. Everyone at school was talking about it. We had no contact from the cps to discuss how he would manage to give evidence in court. I know experienced police officers who hate it for and he was 14 ffs. He refused to testify and it all fell through. The boys learned nothing and felt they were proven right. In conclusion, you need to ask your ds what he wants.

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