AIBU to question my 17yo DD staying in grotty hotel in dodgy area in Paris?

[Gonetothebeach]

My 17yo DD has been invited by a classmate to Paris for one night to celebrate her birthday. (The 5 invitees all pay their own way) The hotel which has been selected on behalf of my daughter reads like a parents' worst nightmare on Tripadvisor: on the far flung reaches of the metro map stuck out near the Peripherique and a 15 minute walk to nearest metro station through an area described on TA as 'unsafe', 'dodgy', 'men whistling', 'strewn with rubbish'. DH thinks it's 'character building' . I think it's reckless and a waste of money . And why Paris at this moment as well ?

if 'unsafe', 'dodgy', 'men whistling', 'strewn with rubbish' is 'character building'

why not just go to any large UK city, and save the fare ?

I wouldn't be pleased and would ask my DD to find a decent alternative at the same price level.

Lived in London for years not one issue - Paris for long weekend we got mugged! I agree with you this sounds misguided

God them are some hell holes around the centre of Paris.

If it was me, I wouldn't let her go.

There are some hell holes around the centres of most big cities in the UK, however, it's somewhat edgier when you're abroad.

I wouldn't let my 17 year old go through Hackney on her own after midnight.

Why don't you contact the parents who have booked the hotel and ask do they know it, was it recommended to them, have they stayed there? Tbh I stay in the same area of Paris the odd time I go and I've read similar reviews of the area on Trip Advisor. I think everyone knows TA is very subjective and some of the concerns or complaints that are made can be a bit .

Why has the hotel in question been chosen? Is it much cheaper than the others? I would have thought they would have wanted something more central? Is it booked and non refundable. Could they get an airbnb apartment in a good location, seeing as it is a group?

But if they all stick together and behave sensibly, they should be fine.

I lived in Paris for 16 years. Not all ends of the metro lines are as bad as they seem. If you say which metro station it is, I might be able to tell you more about the area. Ironically, the only area of Paris that I wouldn't walk through as a young woman alone is relatively central.

That aside, I would probably be more inclined to agree with your DH but that's easy to say since my son is only just over 1 so I only have to talk the talk without walking the walk for now.

Are your DD and her friends usually sensible? If they are careful and stick together I think they'll be ok. Might be worth having a chat to remind them of the importance of that and of being aware of their surroundings but that goes for any large town or city.

The hotel has not been booked yet and I am frantically googling alternatives. Just cannot see how they can all have a lovely time if they're running the gauntlet every time they head back through Hellsville back to grotty hotel from the metro. I know we should take TA with a pinch of salt but the reviews are overwhelmingly negative. My DD is very sensible but others in the group are 'giddy' and immature and I worry about unwanted attention on this treacherous return from the metro due to inebriation. I just don't think its sensible at all...

I ended up inadvertently staying in a rough area on Paris once and it really wasn't character building. It was just scary and I nearly got mugged. I wouldn't let a 17 year old do this.

Can you tell us the place? I might be able to tell you more about the area, if I know where...

No, YANBU. You can get a really reasonable IBIS or similar not far from the Gare du Nord which, although not the best area in the world, is central, busy and well-lit. I think I paid £60 a night for a Mercure via travelrepublic.

I wouldn't want my DD staying with friends in a place like that!

There are cheaper alternatives much nearer the centre. Obvs, not all those areas are nice but at least it's more central.

Have you tried AirBnB? Probably be just as easy to rent a 3 room apt.

why not just go to any large UK city, and save the fare ?

• yeah who could possibly EVER want to go to Paris?!

Help them find a better cheap hotel - I stayed in a great hostel in the Paris city centre many years ago - run by Nuns. Best breakfast, clean, gorgeous. I think the only downside was guests had to be back before 11pm.

YANBU. Paris is not London. The rough areas of Paris are much much dodgier than rough areas of london. Its also fucking massive, so unless your hotel is really central, then its not going to be much fun for a group of teenagers

YANBU, sometimes you have to put your foot down and this is one of those times. I agree (having lives in France) that their rough areas are way scarier than UK city ones. and their political tension is WAY higher

agree with a Youth Hostel more centrally.

I would call the parents and have a word, and use the quotes here and the tip advisor quotes also

YANBU. I stayed in a hostel in a not very nice part of Paris when I was 19. I felt unsafe and vulnerable. Then one night there was rioting and the rioters came into the hostel to cause trouble. Luckily we had been moved up a couple of floors because they had got some bookings mixed up.

There is no way I would let 6 17 year olds stay somewhere like that.

Have a look for budget hotels or apartments in the Latin Quarter. It's very studenty.

Veto the hotel, help them choose some where civilised. Paris is awesome and they will have a blast.

Lots of good ones here on Air BnB, like this one: www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/12356654?guests=5

This is cheap and good: www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g187147-d472020-Reviews-s1-Hospitel_Hotel_Dieu_Paris-Paris_Ile_de_France.html I've stayed the past. It is strange tho, it's the top floor of a real in use hospital.

I'd be getting Liam Neeson on speed dial. Though tbh that's something I'd quite like anyway.

I went to Paris with the school when I was 13 and we were booked into a very dodgy area and had to contend with men constantly trying to break into our rooms at night - they got in to the hotel via the fire escapes. My group of friends got mugged in a park in broad daylight with teachers present. It was really frightening and we had adults with us (who with hindsight I feel bloody sorry for. It must have been hellish for them!).

Unless my daughter was staying in a decent, busy area of the city there's I would definitely put my foot down over this.

I've been back to the city many times since and had fabulous times - I have chosen the area I stayed in carefully though.

I used to live in Paris, and where we were (the 5th arr.) there was never a breath of trouble. The second you went anywhere near Montmartre it was horrible, and Montmartre isn't even supposed to be that bad any more (it was worse???), so God only knows what their hotel will be like. A naive parent may have suggested it on some ill-informed idea that the "suburbs" will be nicer than the scary city centre, when in Paris it is the exact opposite.

People write all sorts of nonsense on trip advisor, etc. Any corner of Paris (including popular tourist areas like Montmartre and Montparnasse) could be dangerous and peopled with dodgy characters at night.

The dangerous sink estates (the banlieues) are outside the Peripherique. I've stayed near the Peripherique before (near Alesia metro) and it was fine. Paris is no more dangerous than London providing the same judgment about personal safety is used.

Let her go (in both senses!)