AIBU to feel uncomfortable that DD's classroom assistant is the mum of one of the children in the class?

[Mumalade]

DD has just gone into year 6 and the new TA is the mother of one of the girls in the class. I feel quite uncomfortable about this - AIBU?

I've been a TA in my ds's class and I can assure you he didn't get preferential treatment. Even the class teacher and the head commented on that. That's perhaps because I worked in schools before I was a parent while some people look for jobs in schools where their children are. I'm cautious about that type because some of them aren't very professional. It just depends on the individual really.

I taught in my oldest DS class when he was in Nursery and I'd help out in his class and other classes when he went upto the infants.

No one ever had any problems with it and I never showed any kind of favourtism and I'm still in contact with quite a few of the children that I taught all those years ago,they're all 20 years plus now and were friends so they obviously never had a problem with it,I'm still friends with quite a few of they're Mum's as well.

I think it all depends on the adult involved.

You could be right about that, Bestthingever - I'd been a teacher for 20 years before I taught in my dc's class. Maybe that makes a difference.

I absolutely bloody hate it when people ask me how I got my job because they 'quite fancy working in a school because it would be sooo convenient'. Surely it's because you like kids and want to help them learn? Unfortunately lve seen mums like that get jobs in school and I don't think they make good TAs. It would make my life easier if I worked in the same school as my dd but I won't basically because I've found people get very nosey if they find you work in their kids school so it would be hard dealing with her friends' mums. Also, there's people like the Op who will be looking for signs of bias. I can't be bothered with it.

I am not looking for signs of bias BestThingEver! In fact, the reason I raised this as an issue was that I was unsure why my gut instinct made me feel uneasy and I have read the responses, many of which have made me think! As I mentioned, I come from a background where working with a close member of your family would not be allowed and I've not at any point said this teacher would be incapable of conducting herself in anything other than a professional manner. I do feel, however, that there could potentially be problems and, as someone else mentioned, a conflict of interests.

It's not just a question of the adults being professional, though.
In my class at school there was a girl whose mum was a teacher, who would claim that she could get her mum to tell people off etc. A class of 5 year olds didn't know that it wasn't true, so she got away with a lot amongst her peers.
Conversely, when I went to a school where my mum was a(strict) teacher, children from her class would pick on me if they had been in trouble with her, and significantly fewer people wanted to come to my house for tea etc as they saw it as having dinner at a teacher's house, as did their parents.
These were both situations where the children were not in their parents' class - adding that into the mix would no doubt have made things worse, and I'm surprised it is so commonplace as it was avoided at all costs at my school.

I hate it. I can see occasionally it's unavoidable but I wouldn't put my child in that position.

Agree dojo same. Remember being a terrified year 7 newly at big school and an enormous thick 15 year old coming to "beat me up" because my dad had told her off. Happy days.

When I was in year 6 our teacher was the mother of a girl in the class. It was fine - we forgot about it most of the time. It would only be an issue if there was any sort of favouritism. Personally I would hate to teach my own children as I think it's good to have a separation between home and school. But it wouldn't bother me if others wanted to be teacher/assistant in their child's class.

Not on a level playing field with the other children. Others use the fact that the TA's child is in the class to manipulate. They did in my experience anyway.