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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my drive is not a public turning circle

113 replies

Quicksharp · 15/09/2016 10:16

We live on a quiet road but it seems our driveway has become public property.
Whilst I acknowledge that you can't avoid delivery vans taking liberties and turning round where they can (& it seems our drive is the best place on the whole of our street for this activity), our new neighbours across the street have now started using our drive to reverse back onto in order to turn out of their own drive (& appear to have advised all their (numerous) visitors to do the same).
It sounds petty writing this but we manage to reverse out of our property without invading their drive so I can't help but think they are being a bit cheeky and getting into a habit that I would like to nip in the bud.
AIBU to see this as an irritation?

OP posts:

CatNip2 · 15/09/2016 11:02

I would be annoyed too, nice set of double gates to piss on their bonfire I say.

LurkingHusband · 15/09/2016 11:03

What's the harm though, with them turning for 30 seconds.

Depends on (a) how they turn, and (b) what the drive is made of.

Vans, and lorries, with their huge front wheels and power steers exert an incredible force when being spun stationary. Enough to dig into tarmac.

Original poster

Quicksharp · 15/09/2016 11:04

Jenny, we have some gates set further back off the road but council won't allow planning permission to have them closer to the road - something to do with being able to pull off the main road so you are not blocking other traffic while you open the gates.

OP posts:

WhiteDraig · 15/09/2016 11:04

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00I0SKDSS/ref=pd_sim_sbs_0_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=BGS6XP77M460AMW8Q8XE or some gates?

We are on a corner plot and the previous owners have obviously extended one of the walls to stop people cutting over the drive or doing turns.

I'd try and discourage as soon as possible. People can get possessive about odd stuff - last house road outside our house neighbours few doors down often parked on.

Had a HB and MW must have parked there next day relatives were giving us a lift to hospital for some checks and parked there - came back from hospital very tried and parked outside our house - to have the guy come charging over to have words about their spot being used - they had an empty four car drive - he did back off when he saw the new born a "that was okay I suppose" .

Annoyingly them parking on the footpath often meant I couldn't get a single pushchair past let alone the double or when DH was confined to a wheel chair could I get that past - they saw us stuck and having to go on the road and I did try speaking to them about it but made no difference.

Original poster

Quicksharp · 15/09/2016 11:06

JaneJeffer I wish it was a case of that but the cars actually block our window in the living room so it's hard to miss even when you're not curtain twitching.

OP posts:

Original poster

Quicksharp · 15/09/2016 11:11

WhiteDraig - thanks for the link ☺ It's annoying isn't it. We often get people just parking across our drive too - there are several times when I've come home and had to go door knocking to find the culprit just so I can get into my house!

OP posts:

ElsieMc · 15/09/2016 11:12

We live at the end of a small private road and are the only ones of four neighbours who don't have electric gates. People then use our driveway to turn.

When my gc's were small, one car reversed in quickly and I saw him nearly hit my grandson on his little bike. He drove off and it was clear he had not seen him at all. A week later, the postman did the same, not looking and apologised profusely. Asda vans park on my drive and deliver as do yellow pages. The bloke from Asda thought I was going to make him a brew.

They are invading your property and are selfish in the extreme. Don't allow this to happen. You will just have to leave your car there until they get the message. You could always get a no turning sign, but I don't think this will make much difference.

A few years ago we got new neighbours renting and they started doing much the same as is happening to you, so we left our car blocking the gateway and they soon got the message.

Laughed at the cones, but at our school, the mums just crush them with their four wheel drives (this is true).

LugsTheDog · 15/09/2016 11:12

Ideally you'd all be reversing onto your drives and driving forwards out of them - it's safer.

I'd find it irritating too. I think the least confrontational way to address it is to ask them to stop, followed by leaving a car there. Putting up bollards etc is way more confrontational than either of these.

YANBU to be irritated but YWBU to let it wind you up too much if you haven't even asked them to stop. And since they are new, address it now so that it doesn't become even more of a norm.

Original poster

Quicksharp · 15/09/2016 11:14

LurkingHusband it's small brick paved drive that leads onto gravel but the bricked part is adjacent to the house (living area) and has a small bricked wall on the other side that I wouldn't be surprised if someone hit one of these days given the speed they rocket into the drive whilst on their mission

OP posts:

Original poster

Quicksharp · 15/09/2016 11:19

Thanks for the support Elsie and for the advice Lugs 👍

OP posts:

MitchellMummy · 15/09/2016 11:23

This would drive me INSANE. I would put a small barrier of something (bricks or something) there for a few days until they get the message. I realise this would be a pain for you going in and out but it would teach them a lesson.

MoreCoffeeNow · 15/09/2016 11:26

I've seen people put chains over the entrance, I suggest you do that. Cheap and effective.

Daisygarden · 15/09/2016 11:30

Definitely stand your ground. This would annoy me too. When I learned to drive years and years ago as a 17yo, my driving instructor stopped me from using drives as extra space to do a three point turn. He said I should be able to reverse just using the road and it was considered rude to use people's drives. I have to say I hadn't thought of that (only 17 and learning tho) and so I never have since. Maybe nobody has ever pointed out the obvious to these people!!

Our neighbours push all their bins onto our share of the pavement. (semi detached houses). So they won't have all of their 3 huge bins in front of their house, but it's ok to be in front of ours?! That annoys me. The bin men tend to then leave all the empty bins together (theirs and ours) blocking our drive. So I have to move my neighbour's bins back every week as well as ours. Sorry just wanted to rant about that too!

WetDogLovesHubert · 15/09/2016 11:31

You need to read this: www.planningportal.co.uk/info/200130/common_projects/20/fences_gates_and_garden_walls you may be able to put up gates closer to the front of the drive if your right to do so hasn't explicitly been removed by a planning decision.

WhiteDraig · 15/09/2016 11:37

I would put a small barrier of something (bricks or something)

if you have wheelie bins - possibly a green one could be left on the drive.

The impatient waiting would have half my family down the bottom on the drive not quite hand on hips with a just you dare glare on their faces.

You could source a Samurai-Umbrella and a big torch and every time you have this run after the car brandishing the two items. I'm sure that couldn't be construe as unfriendly

Original poster

Quicksharp · 15/09/2016 11:37

It's amazing how irritating seemingly small things can be if they start happening to you on a regular basis isn't it
I think sometimes it's just a case of what we perceive as being rude and cheeky not matching up with what others see as rude and cheeky.
I'm glad I'm not alone in my irritation though so thanks for the support and suggestions folks

OP posts:

Prontomonto · 15/09/2016 11:38

May I join the club please?

I also have my drive used for turning, and its made of concrete. The area about 2-3 feet in from the pavement is definitely wearing out, the surface is broken & beginning to develop holes.

If I park on the edge the car is in full sun all day. If I park further up, the neighbour's house shades it from about noon.

I have an added problem at the moment with 2 poorly neighbours who are having visits from nurses or care workers several times a day. (There are about four or five I see on a regular basis.)
Both neighbours have driveways. But NOBODY USES THEM.
They prefer to park across someone else's driveway (usually on the pavement too) or in a really awkward position at the head of the cul-de-sac so that no-one else can actually turn round.

Are people still taught three-point-turns and parking for their driving test?

Cherylene · 15/09/2016 11:40

We used to have someone - friend of neighbour over the road - who did this, in spite of there being a side road half a house length away on the other side of the road. In fact I am sure that the friend they used to visit would have had an empty (if small) drive as he is the only person who keeps his car in the garage.

It was the speed involved and the total lack of consideration of other people (I was vacuuming a car out with the DC playing out in the front garden on one occasion). They always have to go fast, because they know it is wrong .

AlphaBites · 15/09/2016 11:43

Chains would help, one with the odd spikey link added in. That would drive me nuts, turning around occasionally or lost driver is not a problem.

But a neighbour doing it as a means of parking their own car - NO

We have just put a massive boulder on the corner of our drive though as people kept reversing around into my drive and have hit my car (very short drive !) but gate posts and the fence kept getting smashed so DH went on the rage and put a big Fuck Off boulder in. we didn't laugh at all the first time we heard a crunch *

*this is a lie ;)

ExAstris · 15/09/2016 11:54

Are your neighbours coming right up onto your driveway itself? Not just on the dropped kerb part of the pavement (not that they should do that either, but it's not your drive)? How far back are the gates? I was wondering if the gates being set back make it look like the bit behind the gates is yours and the bit in front is public? That would explain why the visitor was annoyed at you, in their view, hanging around on the pavement getting in the way.

It's hard to comment without a diagram really as layouts vary so much by area...

ExAstris · 15/09/2016 11:56

But yes, if I had a drive it would seriously piss me off if people were driving on it without invitation.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 15/09/2016 12:00

What's the harm though, with them turning for 30 seconds. It wouldn't bother me

it can damage the driveway especially if vans/lorries do it.

ChocolateFuzz · 15/09/2016 12:10

Park at the top of your drive and drop a few nails. It's not your fault if one of two pierce their tyres

Hufflepuffin · 15/09/2016 12:17

Can you get an electric gate with remote in the car? It doesn't have to be that sturdy, just a small barrier!

ShotsFired · 15/09/2016 12:21

OP I share and feel your pain. I have a driveway that the world and his bloody aunt are constantly using to 3-point-turn, when the road is perfectly wide enough, never mind they use a full width pavement as well!

(All those people saying they wouldn't mind, fine, send me your address and I'll come round and repeatedly trespass onto your front garden or whatever. If and when I cause damage by my repeated visits, you can suck it up and pay the repairs (as I will have to on my driveway))

But the layout means I can't put up barriers (also I know the area I live in has had several applications for things refused that would "spoil the open plan nature"). There is no other house round here that has gates or other "blocks" on drives, but theirs are smaller and mine is massive (quirk of the plot when they built).

Hold onto your hats diagram fans...
All the area outlined in green is technically mine. The neighbours either side of me can come onto my land to access their parking spaces. As you can see, there's no way to put gateposts up (even it was permitted); and also top neighbour comes and goes frequently due to her work each day.

To think my drive is not a public turning circle

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